Wednesday, October 29, 2008

Storytime & Immigration

"You're rushing through me,
like water from heaven
I feel you movin through me
Like sand in the the sea"
Backstreet Boys - Rush Over Me

Holy glory it took way too much energy to finish off that silly costume, and I'm finding I actually need to MAKE the darned hat to go with it. MIL was nice enough to go in search for me, and came up with a hard hat for an army guy, I just need to cover it with yellow fabric to turn it into a hard hat.
We wore it out in public this morning though, went to the first Library Storytime that is in this new session. It was fun, though I don't think he quite knew what was going on. He'll get used to it though, just like last time. He was shy when we got there this morning. Afterwards when we went out to go play with the train set, he certainly lost that shyness. I was overwhelmed by the sheer amount of children there all at once. Two story-times got out at the same time, plus two more beginning right afterwards, and all the kids decended in their play area to wait. Wow, a dull roar of children chatter, parents talking amongst one another, and an occasional disagreement between children. I was amazed when about 6 different kids decided to have meltdowns all at the same time. It almost looked choreographed from where I sat. They all started screaming and each one seemed to rise in pitch seperately like an orchestra.

"There's a world outside every darkened door,
Where blues won't haunt you anymore
Where the brave are free and lovers soar"
Tom Cochrane - Life Is A Highway

Our attourney called after we got home from the library to discuss our options (as I hadn't contacted her in a few weeks) regarding our move back to BC. What a mess it is. Oy yoi yoi. I keep putting off the formal discussion because I know it's going to end up a full out argument with some seriously hurt feelings because when we both decide something we have a very difficult time coming to any agreement, or ever discussing it without it getting heated. Judging from our recent actions it's just not been the right time to discuss it seriously as they're has been major difficulties having any serious discussion about anything without it errupting into a show fit for reality TV. Shameful, but true.

"To the heart and mind
Ignorance is kind
There's no comfort in the truth
Pain is the whole you find"
WHAM! - Careless Whisper

I believe tonight is going to be one of those nights where I finally head to sleep early and take the tot with me. I'm tired, exhausted from pushing myself when I don't want to be. I still haven't taken pictures of either of the boys' costumes, hopefully I will before Friday. Friday I have a school party game to plan, but am unsure whether or not I'll even be able to attend due to the timing. Once again, I'm so aggrievated that I can't do ANYthing without a f***ing sitter cause my schedule just isn't a priority. Can you tell I'm beginning to feel trapped? Maybe I'm letting the cold weather get me down, but I'm fed up with having to find new ways to distract those trapped in the house with me. I just want out, and I want out now. I can only imagine how they feel.

"If you loved me
I would not need my drunken friends
And if you loved me
my lonliness for sure would end"
Jann Arden - If You Loved Me

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