Friday, January 21, 2011

Feel Like Not A Whole Lot

Not much action blog-worthy going on here.
I gotta say that having a two-working-parent household is a little more difficult than I thought it would be. I find myself exhausted after work, and I have a lot more running around to do. I can appreciate now how difficult it is to spend quality time with the kids after work for both of us. We do make an effort to keep tired voices from raising and to keep ourselves sane. I can admit, though, that it can be quite trying to ensure everything runs smoothly, and to ensure that everyone is cared for properly while we work. These past couple of weeks we've been experimenting with different friends' caring for the kids, but are quickly boiling it down to those whom we trust with our kids, and those whom we don't. Am considering finding a sitter for two days per week for the days I'm in daycare w/H, but we shall see what happens, and if anyone is available.
I'd like to make a trip to Kelowna sometime soon, but am unsure when that will be. Am working on savings for the trips we plan to take, and also on a list of items I would like for the house, that I've always wanted, but haven't really seen as something I could get. It's nice to be able to make a list like that. I'm enjoying that freedom.
I've gotten myself worked into a bit of a schedule, and have found a niche with how to get the kids ready to go int he mornings and how to get everything done in a day.
We've signed both kids up for Gymnastics, on seperate nights of the week. They enjoy having something extra-curricular on the menu of things to do, as they haven't had this since we left Ohio, really. Though we did try Scouts for a bit, it wasn't worth it in the end.
It's been snowing a lot here lately, which is nice. I have been avoiding shovelling my driveway, opting instead to 4x4 over the mound that the plow leaves behind. I regretted doing that yesterday when I got the truck stuck trying to get into the driveway w/the kids in it. Of course, it had snowed over 8 inches in 24 hours, and the mound was considerably large, and had not been worn down at all. I made plans, once we got the truck into the garage, to go out and shovel that mound out of the way. Just thinking about it made me feel worn out, but I need to be able to get in and out of the driveway, cause I have no plans to dig myself out when I gotta get to work. I got the kids ready for bed, and as I got them out of the shower, I seen lights on the driveway. A Co-worker of Mr's was out in our driveway with his little ATV & plow clearing out a path for our truck in the snow. Seriously...that guy is my hero.
I have some people coming over this weekend to help me clean out my storage room as well, as it's a scary sight, and out of the norm for organization. I'm glad it'll be getting done, and ready for the seasonal items to go back in.
I'm making plans to set up D's bunk bed, as he's starting to ask for sleepovers with friends. He's never had one, and I'd much rather prefer having his first one with a friend over here than have him do the first at someone else's home.
Spending this morning doing small errands with my lil H, before heading to the Daycare for the afternoon. I'm sure enjoying myself with the kids, it feels good to be sparking imaginations again.

Monday, January 10, 2011

Mobile Uploads 2010 Favs

I've spent a significant amount of time over the past three days working on clearing off my old computer, and moving it all onto my External Hard Drive. That also means I've been transferring a lot of photos to my Flickr account as well. Something I'm guilty of not attempting since last August. This also means I've loaded all of my Mobile Pix from my hotmail to my drive as's a few of my fav shots...

H, sitting next to a baby cow in Little Fort this past spring. --->

<---I wonder how many of my readers will catch this refrence?

We live so close to the school, but we started practicing the walk early. The boys will be walking by themselves next year...woulnd't you love to see this as you drive by a school?--->

<---My beautiful cousin's newest familial addition. He's got the longest fingers I've ever seen on a baby, must be pre-destined to be a great piano player :o)

Mr has been working very hard to fit in comfortably with my family ever since he met them. He spent a significant amount of time fishing this summer, and though he never caught anything worth bringing home to three extra mouths, it certainly doesn't mean he never caught anything at all.--->

<--- While Mr was fishing, the kids & I visited my Gramma, and walked to the local convenience store to grab a treat for ourselves and occupy our time. BTW, this is the only Subway between Jasper & Kamloops if you ever happen to travel Hwy 5 North.

Saturday, January 08, 2011

2010 In Reflection

It's a new year, so I guess it's time to purge those thoughts from the last.
I've got a job which is challenging, and incredibly rewarding. It has it's ups and down, and it's possible (though, not very likely) that I could lose it come March (the person I took over for went on Mat leave for 1 year, but she has moved).
I've begun working in daycare, a field, which, at one point in time, seemed like a dream that I'd never reach.
I have officially attended college, and I'm eager to continue studying in the field I got started in by accident. That being said, it also refreshed my dreams of continuing my education in other fields that were once an option I had considered for myself.
I kind of fell out of blogging. I feel badly about this, but there is a point when you can only read so much moping without getting snappy about reading the same old shit over and over. While my life still has it's ups and downs, the past 7 months have made it increasingly difficult for me to focus on the positives like I usually do. I have survived a nervous breakdown, a scandal that could've hurt a lot of people that I care about, and issues that threw me right back to square one with my reflections and feelings towards men. I worked as much as I could to making myself take steps towards being able to trust myself around those gentlemen who call themselves my Mr's friends. While this has proven difficult, I have made progress to a degree.
I stopped HNT-ing. This upsets me, and really shows how much I've fallen off track with my outlook on myself. It's difficult to take pictures and see them as beautiful, when you just don't feel it. You really have to feel comfortable to take the shots I take, and I haven't felt like that in a long time. While this wasn't intentional, it's glaringly obvious I need to do some self evaluation to figure out what would make me feel most comfortable to get me going again. That being said, I'm also suffering from two broken cameras that will need to be sent to the manufacturer to be repaired before I can start again. I feel fairly ill-equipped without cameras, and am considering v-logging as an alternative...but we'll see how far I get in that venture.
I'm happy with my marriage. After 9 years together, and an immeasurable amount of tribulation, I'm content with how we have settled with one another, and trust my Mr completely. Three years ago I wondered if I would ever trust him again, and I'm happy to report that I am finally over this avenue of demise. We're both working...and have a friendly joke about it because he's becoming more "Canadian-ized" and making more than I am. Work suits him, and I'm glad he's happy with the position he holds right now. I do fear for his safety while he works and volunteers though, and this surprises me...I've never thought about how much he and his safety means to me. I fear losing him. I fear that he will be hurt, and I'm proud of what he has stepped up to be in this small town. His ability to give himself so freely encourages me to continue digging myself out of my shell, and his support has helped me to continue my own self-exploration. I can honestly say now that I do truly love my husband, and I don't need to voice a reason why (though there are many) and give it justice to anyone.
This year we're looking at actually planning and saving for many avenues of family fun, that we've never been able to consider before. This marks the year where things start going right for us. We've worked hard to make it this far, and dammit, I'm ready to see the fruits of our labor! We're planning a trip to Whitehorse for a family wedding, and a trip somewhere (we're pulling for Vegas) for our 10th anniversary. We have plans for a second vehicle, and a beginning to the rebuild of our credit. We are officially "making it" on our own. All of our bills are caught up (they've made the BC Driver's License look really ugly BTW), there's plenty of food in the cupboards, and our kids don't need anything...but that doesn't stop them from wanting ;o)
Life is moving on, and I'm finally ready to say that I'm a grown up. I like the way that feels. But, if it's okay with you, when I'm in Daycare, I'd still like to be a kid!