Friday, July 31, 2009

Friday Fill-Ins #135

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1. It's time for me to go to is 2:30am, after all.

2. My bed; it's not a bad place for sleeping.

3. I must be desperate for a job cause everyone keeps telling me I'm selling myself short!

4. My husband's arms are (is) the best thing I have ever known.

5. My life is simply day to day at this point.

6. The last time I laughed really loudly was tonight when I was forced to tell the "lemonade" story to a dealer at the Casino.

7. And as for the weekend, tonight I'm looking forward to kicking back with the kids and enjoying the heat, tomorrow my plans include going to an interview and doing some sewing for my MIL as she's coming up for a visit and Sunday, I want to hopefully be employed!

Thursday, July 30, 2009

ok folks, I'm anticipating a phone call tomorrow for an interview on Saturday. I suck at interviews. I've only had to do a handful of them in my lifetime, and they suck. I'm certain I've lost a few jobs due to my lack of interview skills. What pointers can you all give me?
Seriously...15 resumes and applications, and only one call back. It's playing hell with my confidence.

Half Nekkid Thursday

I'm a beach Bum...I admit it. It was so hot out yesterday I gave up on the a/c and headed out with the family to the beach. I'm not a fan of cold water, though I'm trying real hard to train myself to be one again after visiting certain regions of the Interior. I was surprised by just how warm the lake was, and didn't mind at all spending a fair amount of time just sitting in the water relaxing and playing with the boys. As you can see, I wasn't the only one relaxing in the water...D was doing a pretty good job himself.

Wednesday, July 29, 2009

Thursday Thunks

1. You are in an enclosed space with a group of friends. Elevator, auto, small room, etc.. You fart and it really stinks. Do you take credit for it or do you play along with the questioning of who did it? That depends on how close those friends are...but more than likely blame it on my husband.

2. You are locked in a room sitting at a desk with just a piece of paper and a purple crayon. What do you draw? I cover the entire page in swirls, then turn it over and slowly color the entire page in light & dark purple.

3. Do you ever pee in the shower? This is way too personal a question ;o)

4. Have you bought, sold or got rid of something on Craigslist? not me personally, but I'm sure Mr has.

5. You are in a convenience store. In the line in front of you is a drunk guy trying to purchase more alcohol. The cashier tells him they cannot sell it to him because he is obviously already intoxicated. He gets belligerent. The cashier is scared. What do you do? I step in, tell him to calm down or I'm calling the police, then proceed to dial them anyways.

6. While shopping for produce, do you "sample" before you buy (i.e. grapes)? Nope, pesticides people, pesticides

7. You are walking down the street and there is a toddler sitting on a bench by themselves in front of a store - do you just keep walking? I observe the immediate area for a possible parent, then I sit down and pretend to mind my own business before saying hello to said toddler. If no one shows in 5 minutes I call Children Services and the police.

8. Have you looked up an old friend and/or lover online? Yes I have. but that doesn't mean I've contacted all ex-lovers.

9. You are nearly in a car/auto accident. Do you freak out, follow the person who nearly caused it & talk to them or just keep going? Depends on how serious it is. if was near death-type of an near accident, I expect them to pull over and ask if I'm ok, and apologize. If they don't I get their Plate number and report it.

Things That Make Me Smile

Well, today I'm not feeling quite so low. These moments of despair really come and go, it seems.
I spent last night on the computer, surfing every site I could think of that would post job opportunities. Sent out 15 resumes in the time span of two hours. I hope I get something back from it all.
It's kind of gloomy here, must be a lot of clouds in the sky...or it could just be the smoke from the fire down the road a bit. Who knows...
Keep meaning to make lists up of what I'd like to accomplish in the house, and the plans that I have to get myself back on track with my weight and make up a schedule for the boys that i won't mind sticking to. So many things just begging to be organized, I'm sure I'll get to it eventually. Right now everything is going in baby steps, so I don't feel quite so overwhelmed.
I'm glad my outlook comes and goes, as I can't imagine what it must feel like to be down all the time.Saturday we had attempted to go to the beach as a whole family, but got rained out and wound up visiting another family member and their newest addition. Was a lot of fun. On our way home we stopped in at a McDonald's Playplace (did I mention we live about 5 minutes away from one?) to let the kids romp a bit. It was really sweet to see Darius playing with his brother. At first H claimed that he couldn't climb up the shelf (it's a really tall Playplace) so refused to climb unless big brother was pushing him up each level. As D was pushing he would yell up "Be care ful when you come down because my little brother is trying to climb up!" H then refused to go down the slide on his own, and so D was obliged to go down each and every single time with him. They'd get to the bottom and H would declare "That was awesome!" and clench his little fist to show just how cool it really was.We went again the other day (gonna be spending time there cause it's air conditioned and have water readily available. This time H figured out how to climb on his own, and that was the last we saw of him. He must've climbed up and gone down that tunnel slide a full 100 times before it was time to go. Poor little guy tuckered himself out. He's not like most kids, he doesn't stop cause he gets tired, he goes until he drops into a deep sleep to recover. It was cute though, each time he came down he jumped off the slide yelling about how awesome it was.

Tuesday, July 28, 2009

Disappointment, Women, & Fighting

Mr hit the Dr's yesterday ($75 bux for the visit, plus another 19 for the prescrip) and found out he has Bronchitis. Thankful we caught it early, sad he is feeling so yucky.

I always find it difficult to get the wind back in my sails after hearing Immigration news. Only because I know that anything to do with them takes forever, and we'll always be forced to find extreme ways to make it work.
Mr and I are busy trying to find ways to distract ourselves from being completely depressed by the situation we've gotten ourselves into. It's fortunate that I can understand that from him now, otherwise I may be angry with his coping mechanism.

Let's spell this out.
We have a six month wait (at a minimum) from when we file for him (god only knows where those fees will come from) before they will consider him eligible for work.
He got an FBI background check while we were still in Ohio to save us some time, not realizing that they were only good for 3 months from the original date they were completed. The (only) Immigration Dr in town isn't available to see him until the end of August, the same day the FBI forms expire. Drastic measure will now need to be taken, and we may need to send him down to Vancouver now (a 5 hour drive) to see the other closest Immigration Dr to us.

I haven't found a job yet, and with how dry the market is for someone with no "real" experience (meaning I know lots of stuff, just not enough of everything to paste on a resume) in any real field of employment except for cleaning, I'm afraid that I won't find a job at all.
My kids are sensing our tension, and I feel a failure at what to do with them, because I'm lacking the brain power to suck it up right this very moment.
Praying that my moments of despair pass quickly, so that I may be the parent my children need.
Oh my god, it's awful how hopeless this all feels.

I haven't had a decent conversation, in which I can be my normal self with my husband, in what feels like ages. Have barely had a moment alone with him. I miss my husband dearly. I miss his laughter, and his humor, and just the pleasure of being quiet with him long enough to hear the random thoughts in his brain.

After coming back, it's apparent to see that my relatives are waiting to take my lead, as to how to behave towards us as a married couple (considering the state of our marriage when we left, I'm surprised they're being nice at all). I'm trying so hard not to let them persuade me to turn back into that girl I was before. I'm an adult married woman, and have been for the last 8 years. I may have left BC on bad terms, but have since come to grips with what it actually means to me to be married. I've had no decent model to build that on, and have come to realize (amazingly) that I love my husband, and don't need a reason why. Because I love him it's my family's duty to at the very least, respect him as well.
In my family women rule the roost, and damn you if you don't automatically fork that respect over, because you'll be cut down in any way they can just to make sure their point is driven home. The ladies in my family did it all on their own, and I know I could if I needed to as well...but I don't need to. I've found this fantastic man to share my journey with, and I'm perfectly happy being the one who's not afraid to admit that I need a solid rock to lean on, and I'm also not afraid of letting him get to that part of me that's the most vulnerable. I have finally come to realize who comes first to me. before my family came my children and husband come before any extended family.
All of this is not to say that my behaves in any way less than respectable, but it's something that I need to affirm in myself, to keep my feet on steady ground as it were. I will not slip into past habits, and let tradition or anything of the like, swallow me during my struggle.
I've grown up, and I'm better than that.
But dear lord, why does this stuff have to be so damned hard?
I'm so very tired of fighting and struggling...when will this fight end?

Monday, July 27, 2009

It's hot. After a weekend of rain and thunderstorms that were spectacular to watch, we're headed into a heat wave.
I'm working now on trying to figure a decent schedule with the boys, so that we can find a comfortable way for the dynamics here to work.
I'm still super tired, and actually wouldn't be working on things right now if I hadn't broken down and made myself some coffee.
Mr had gotten himself excited that the processing times for Immigration paperwork up here were going to be short. After contacting the person who's helping file everything, he found them to be the same...6-9 months before we can hope for any response. We're literally wasting our lives away waiting.
I can say honestly that I didn't expect anything different, but it's so disheartening knowing that's it's going to be this concrete time frame. I am now responsible for my family. For their finances, care, and to make sure they have everything they need. Sure, I have parents who can help, but the fact that I can't just sit down and have one financial conversation with my Mr and know that it's all taken care of is so sad. Now, to be able to make it work, I need to talk to Mr, my Mom, and MIL just to be sure the boys don't want and that we're all healthy.
I feel like such a loser.
I've wasted my 20's waiting to be an equal with my husband, and I feel like it's been denied as some big joke, so I can entertain someone. Haha, look at that insignificant human over there, watch her struggle cause it's funny how her legs go one way and he arms flail about.
I just want to know success for my family. it really just feels hopeless, and that that dream is just going to float away.
At least I got our rooms straightened out.
I think I'm going to go make dinner and wash the dishes. Maybe the soap suds will help me clean up my outlook.

Sunday, July 26, 2009

Boys' New Room

I had a rough day. I woke from the dead this morning to the kids bouncing in and out of the room, and eventually ppl making their way in to tell me things before leaving. The info wasn't keeping though, and I kept thinking I was dreaming. Eventually I rolled outta bed to find my great aunt here to visit.
I started my task this morning of cleaning out the boys' room of fabric and the like. Mom had turned it into her craft room once we left, and it was crammed from floor to ceiling with fabrics, notions, yarns, and other crafty items. Seriously, you couldn't walk in it. I began to wonder, as I boxed things up, where the stuff would go, if not in this poor little room. I had space bagged all of the bedding in their (double long) hall closet, and had pared it down to a small stack, making room for everything else. I then began filling it with boxes upon boxes of fabric. Once that was filled, I moved stuff into the entryway, and then once that was filled I moved it into our bedroom closet. Now, nearly all of it is put away, but once small shelf full that still needs to be shuffled someplace...god only knows where.
It took me from the time I got up(10), until about 7pm to get it all shuffled around. The boys' beds are now made and their clothing is put away. Once I get that last shelf emptied, that's where their toys will go. I assume it'll be a while before (if at all) that fabric stash gets worn down enough to make it manageable.
I keep finding surprises from when I lived here last. Oh wow, mom, you kept that? You rock!
After doing all of this shuffling and moving, I'm beginning to realize just what a clean freak I really am. Normal people wouldn't dream of cleaning the things that I was cleaning as I was moving stuff around. I blame it on all that training I got from the restoration company that I used to work for.
I'm hoping to get the ducts cleaned (blown out) before the summer ends, and hope that it will help with the dust in the house. The walls are a dusty sort of wall, leaving white stuff on you if you happens to brush against it. So, makes for a naturally dusty environment. All that dust over the years and I figure the air coming out of those vents has gotta be kinda yuck.
Mr is coming down with something. I'm really crossing my fingers that it's not too bad. Though, truthfully, it's sounding fairly similar to when he last came down with pneumonia.
So, both of the boys are sleeping in their own room this eve, and I'm still trying to get our organized, as theirs was my main priority today.
I'm eating popcorn, feeling kind of bored, and liking that feeling of nothing better to do.
Mr is sleeping, and has been since about 3 hours ago. Hopefully he'll get all the extra sleep he needs, and feels better in the morning.

Saturday, July 25, 2009

TMI & The Lazy Bug

Oh folks...I need help. I've been swallowed by the lazy bug!
Back in May, when all of this moving shit sunk in and everything got impossibly busy, all I wanted was to lie down and rest. Knowing that it wasn't going to happen until after we arrived here didn't help me any.
We arrived and I got right down to relaxing. Shameful. I haven't had the energy to get off my butt and clear out the boys' new room and get it set up for them, which puts them both in our room with us. No huge deal, considering we've been that way for a while now due to travel. I can't even get myself going in making something now that I've got a serger at my fingertips. I haven't decorated. Hell, we're still living out of our suitcases. Pathetic, considering it's been a week. I've been having a hard time keeping up with the boys' care now as well. I'm suspecting, now that I've typed it out, that it could be something more than laziness...

****TMI coming up for you male readers****
Gonna need a visit to the Dr as I'm having lady issues, which I should be grateful for, but am worried about instead. For the second month in a row my menses is light. To the point of which I could barely even tell it's there.
No, I'm not pregnant...I had a test before I left Washington in the hospital (stupid me hit my head so hard I knocked myself out and ended up in the ER with a CT Scan of my head and neck) and it came back negative. But there has to be a reason for it, I've always been a regular girl, and this is just odd. One month I consider to be a fluke, but two, there's just got to be something wrong.

I've applied for a few jobs already. I was delighted to discover my resume on mom's computer, just waiting for me to update it. I'm crossing my fingers that I'll get something decent, quickly, so that I can start searching for the school I'm going to attend.
I'm too fucking lazy to actually get out there and pound the pavement yet. I'm not afraid of
interviews or being rejected. I'm afraid of flat out getting a job...what happens if they hire me?? It'll be a huge adjustment...and I'm just so tired of adjusting by now.
Got a mountain of things on my mind that need to be taken care of, and they all require money, so I just need to suck it up and get a move on...if only I could get rid of this awful lazy bug.
I'm so tired, dozing here and there. I drop off the face of the earth during the night now, compared to just a month or so ago when I was waking 3-4 times a night to put H back to sleep, or to go to the bathroom. I wonder what that means.

Friday, July 24, 2009

Friday Fill-Ins #134 we go!

1. Moving back home is not the end of the world. (At least that's what I keep telling myself)

2. Sitting here, listening to the sound of rain falling, I am enjoying the fresh air it's bringing with it. The smoke was just killer today and I loved the smell of fresh rain/burning pine mixed together. If I could've bottled it I would've.

3. Pepsi tastes so good!

4. Sometimes, putting others first is better than rewarding myself.

5. The mountaintops on fire is breathtaking, really.

6. Well, maybe there is hope after all.

7. And as for the weekend, tonight I'm looking forward to getting into trouble with the boys, tomorrow my plans include wandering round and Sunday, I want to relax and gear up for a week of job hunting!

Thursday, July 23, 2009

Half Nekkid Thursday

I spent a bit of this week up at my Gramma's house, relaxing, and trying to get away from the horrid smoke and ash from the surrounding fires. I always visit there first. I found it amazingly relaxing, and why shouldn't I when there is really so little to do there? No internet, no local news channels, no places to go shopping at. I spent the entire first day relaxing, and unwinding fromt he stress of the fires at my new home. It was wonderful. The second day I let Mr drag us up tothe top of his mountain. Surprisingly, Mr took my shot for this week. I'd like to call it Mountain Legs. The unshaved, kinda dry-skinned, super dusty dirty legs.

Yup, I'm lovin being back home. I can tell these Mountain Legs are gonna stick around for plenty more shots.

Thursday Thunks

1. You walk into a store and the cashier is being held up by a robber. The robber's accomplice is dead on the floor at your feet with a shotgun laying next to him. The robber does not see you, but the cashier does - what do you do? pick up the gun and shoot out the glass to scare the robber.

2. We go to an ice cream shop for an ice cream cone. You say you are buying and I am going to stay in the car. You ask me what I want and I say "surprise me", what kind of ice cream cone am I going to get? Plain old Chocolate
3. You have a dream that your co-worker, friend or whoever is hit by a garbage truck after they back into a ladder with a black cat on it. The next day you see that person standing by a ladder with a black cat on it and there is a garbage truck driving down the road.... what do you do? Ask them a serious question about my car to get the to come over to where I am.

4. What is the most money you've won on a lottery or scratch off ticket? $100

5. A neighbor kid down the street comes to your door and offers to wash all of your windows outside for $10 - do you have him do it? Sure, why not.

6. Go to Google Images. Type in the name of the last movie you saw. Post the first picture that comes up. ---> Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince

7. Your local animal shelter calls you and says there are 3 dogs that need an immediate foster home for 3 days. If you do not accept, the dogs are put down that day. Do you take them in? I could maybe foster one, but not all three.

8. What is the messiest room in your home? The sewing room, right now.

9. Have you ever been to a wedding that participated in a strange tradition that you had never heard of? Nope, I can count on one hand how many weddings I've been to, and none of them have done anything strange.

10. Name one sport that you just don't get. Golf.

11. What was the last email that came into your inbox about? it's from Andhari about a new music download.
12. Have you ever purchased anything from a sex shop? Extra points if you tell us what it was.... Sure have. It was a pink Hustler dildo/vibrator combo, with the vibrator able to slip into the dildo to make it a combo. Oh, I also bought some lube. I was surprised that the lube in the sex shop was considerably cheaper than the stuff from the regular store. I'm sooooo due for a new model.

13. Go back to that Google Images link... type in the last food item that you ate. Post the 2nd picture it comes up with.

14. Got any bumper stickers on your vehicle? What are they? Nope. I don't keep a vehicle long enough to claim it with bumper stickers.

15. What meme question do you wish was never asked again? The Google Images one...LOL

Sunday, July 19, 2009

Fire Evacuation Ares & Me

It's close, but we're still in the clear with no evac orders or warnings or anything. We're basically stuck at home, because once we leave we won't be able to get back. We can hit the Wal Mart on this side of the lake and the shops that are there, but we can't head into Kelowna at all because the Hwy is closed. We're now watching to see what comes of it, hoping it doesn't cross to our side of the hwy again. The fire in Glenrosa was just over 1 square mile (did the conversion from 300 Hectares) and the Rose Valley is just over 247 Acres (once again I did the conversion from 100 Hectares). I've been hearing stories of folks in Glenrosa who refused to leave their homes. Pray they stay safe, and pray for the hundreds of firefighters who've now reported for duty and are fighting both of these blazes. There is another fire burning in Fintry, which is further up the lake on this side where we used to own a plot of land at.
I got hardly any sleep lastnight, kept waking up, and I feel horrible today because of it.
I hope the weather co-operates and takes it easy on the fires today. Pray that the winds stay calm.

Rose Valley Fire Video

I gave up hope of sleeping tonight. I'm way too anxious to do any of that. I've nearly chewn (is that a word?) all of my nails off, and I swear I could be wearing some holes in the carpet from pacing. Mom, D , H, and Mr went to bed, while Kim got up (he works nights, and this is the beginning of his vacation). I was visiting with various neighbors all day (basically the ones with either the best view of the ones with more beer). After everyone had gone to sleep I ventured out because I heard commotion on the street. I discovered that you could see the bright glow from the flames through the trees on our street. I asked Kim to walk with me to the main road so I could snag a few pictures, and he offered to drive me round a bit (something I would never do on my own, as I don't approve of looky-loo's. I only accepted cause I wouldn't be driving). On our way through our mobile home park, we discovered that we could see flames on both sides of us through the trees.
That sounds scary, but it's really not meant to, honest.
We now have the Glenrosa fire that's to the south, south-east, and south west of us (closing off the hwy & roads there), and a new one started not too far away to the north-west of us. This is the video I got from the one to the north-west of us. I'm having a hard time absorbing just how close this stuff all is to us. It's terrifying. If there is cause for us to be evacuated, there's really only going to be one way out. Here's hoping they can get them both under control tomorrow morning.
Check out my Flick to see more photos from the Glenrosa Fire and the Rose Valley Fire.
Did I mention that I can't sleep?

Saturday, July 18, 2009

*****FIRE UPDATE*****

Photos courtesy of my Mr.

Alright folks, the fire in town has officially jumped the highway and started down on my side of the town. It's still a ways away yet, but if the winds kkeep it up we're going to be surrounded as the embers are being carried quite a ways away, and we could be forced from our home to refuge at another family members home in another town.
I'm scared. Too many memories from the last big one for me to be able to push out of my mind.
They've warned against water use, a possible power outage, and have the emergency evacuation center about two blocks from my home.
Check out if you want to follow along.

Prayers Needed Folks

In 2003 there was a huge forest fire across the lake from my home, in Okanagan Mountain Park, which wound up burning down over 200 homes in Kelowna.
We arrived just days before it started, when we first moved to the Okanagan with our family.
This year, we arrived yesterday, and today there is a new forest fire, that is currently burning down Glenrosa of West Kelowna (aka Westbank, where I live).
I was shopping with mom and D in town (Kelowna), and on our way home we could see smoke...fearing the direction that it was coming from (as you have to drive around a small mountain called Mt. Boucherie) because it looked like it might have been in our Mobile Home park. We phoned home from mom's cell, and found out that it was actually up in Glenrosa, behind Gorman Brother's Mill. We figured it would get put out quickly, as they already had water bombers and firefighters galore on it.
Not so.
It has gone on to burn down homes, and caused the evacuation of Glenrosa.
It brings back so many memories for me.
The sky is blacked out with smoke, there is no sun, and the sound of the water bombers and helicopters are repetitive, and every few minutes. Sirens, people pulling over to the side of the road, my neighbors are all gathered at the end of the road watching with binoculars, strangers stop to talk about it, and everyone looks with anxious eyes.
I get goosebumps, just thinking about it...and chills when I look at it.
Pray for those who are refusing to leave right away, and pray for those who will not have a home to return to once the evacuation is through. Pray for the firefighters and their safety, and that it will stay up there, and not come in our vicinity.
Thankfully, if it comes to it, we're still packed with suitcases and camping gear ready to go. Mom doesn't have insurance on the house, so pray it doesn't work it's way into town.
I feel like crying, as I've just gotten home to the welcome sights of the valley, and this is what I'm forced to watch, in silent horror, because my kids are watching how I react.
God, I hope everyone stays safe.

Ho Jo & Who I Am

Ok, first, the hotel fiasco from our last night of our trip.
We drove with the intention of stopping in Couer D'Alene and just finding a hotel on our way. It didn't quite work out that way, when we discovered just how busy it all was when we arrived. It was big on tourism, which we just didn't account for (when we really should have) and crazy expensive ($140 per night for one room).. So we continued on. Thankfully, the GPS we had, provided the phone numbers of the hotels in the vicinity, and thus my phoning began. I phoned each hotel until I found one that had a decent price on rooms that were non-smoking, and passed the info on to my trip-mates before I was able to find one and book it over the phone.
It wound up being a Howard Johnson in Post Falls Idaho. OMG. I really can honestly say that I won't ever be staying at another HoJo ever again. We walked in to a line up of ppl signing in, and after waiting for about a half an hour just to sign in, we were able to get our key and the kids and I went up to the room (that was our routine, I take them up, everyone else unloads...dunno why it worked out that way though). We went in and wandered. I sat down, and the bed creaked under my weight. Uh oh. I bounced, and the mattress complained, and just wasn't all that comfortable. We ordered extra pillows, and actually had to go down ourselves to get them. And each request we made (we were, after all, a group of 6 in one room) for extra items was met with the "god, your back again" sigh. MIL noticed gunk all over the sink & faucets. She refused to use it until it was cleaned. When I finally wandered over and looked before I agreed with her. There were splash & spit spots on the faucets that obviously hadn't been cleaned. After calling the front desk to request cleaners to either do it ourselves, or have someone else come and do it, and waiting for over 45 minutes, MIL just pulled out a sanitizing wipe and cleaned it herself. The boys arrived and unpacked for the night, before Mr and D decided to head for their pool (which was iopen 24 hrs). H and I headed down a little bit later, and when we arrived we noticed an odor. It smelled like a fish tank. The water was an odd shade of green, and it wasn't clear, like the other pools we'd been were. You actually couldn't even see through the water at all...which was kind of creepy. Not to mention the line of build up on the wall of the pool. I went in, and noticed a film on my skin, and at Mr's urging, we left. We showered to get the film off, and then headed to bed. The next morning, when it came to breakfast, I noticed the same guy who was on duty the night before, was manning the desk once again. I gathered the place was either on it's way up the chain, or on it's way down...and I don't want to wager a guess as it was just that crummy of an experience.
My thoughts on myself...It occurred to me, as I was pondering random thoughts on our drive, that I am exactly the person I've always wanted to be. In many forms, of course. When I was younger, I dreamed of being someone everyone looked up to, someone people could admire, someone with class and poise, and who had the ability to be respected within a community of people who were like-minded. I have worked so very hard on my own personality that I hadn't taken the time out to realize just who I've turned myself into.
After pondering just how sad I wa sto be leaving Ohio, I realized that I am someone who was respected by other folks, someone whom everyone could take direction from, someone who presented themselves as a level-headed, thoughtful, and poised person. Mind you, all the respect I garnered in my position there, was earned. I worked hard, as you've read (if you've been following me that long) to earn that respect. Though I've always found it hard to give myself the compliments that I'v earned, I'm willing to do so now, after some thought. That's part of the reason why I was so sad to leave Ohio. I worked hard to earn what I've always wanted. For a small portion of time in my life, I had earned exactly what i was aiming for, and it is a rare thing.
Most times, I'm more likely to sit with just my small circle of family, and watch others with a wistful gleam in my eye, wishing I had just what they do. I've always wondered how those folks have so many people who respect them, around them. I've always wondered why so many folks can stand to listen to them. I've always wished I could be them, just for a little while...
Now, I'm ready to put myself back into the play here, and do more than that. My heart was genuinely in the volunteering I did in Ohio, and I enjoyed it. If I did it there, I can do it here. I wonder how long it'll take me.

Friday, July 17, 2009

I'm finally back

Holy Blog Withdrawl Batman!
We arrived in Omak, Washington last Sunday, and promptly set to unloading ourselves and kicking back a bit. We spent the week there, helping MIL set up, as she has some trouble lifting the mega packed boxes we had. Thankfully, she has a side storage at her house, all for our stuff, so we packed everything in there, and helped her set up uer her stuff in the house. I felt it my duty to both sort through her boxes (and not intentionally set it all up, but at least get it in the general vicinity) and try and keep the place clean. Was wore out, and ready to come home by the end of it, but felt comfortable enough leaving her with what I had accomplished. Unfortunatly the Company in charge of her cable & internet were useless, and she won't be getting online until at least tomorrow. I was suffering from withdrawls, and though I asked many times to head into town for a WiFi location, I just wasn't able to justify it.
Mr found us a lovely 1995 White Toyota 4Runner, with leather interior, power windows & locks, and an automatic so I can drive it too! It's a lovely truck, and he got a wicked deal on it. I was really impressed that he talked them down from $6700 +tax down to $6000 Out The Door. Just really brought to light just how much he's grown since we've been together. Now if i can only keep him from the classifieds to avoid buyers remorse, LOL.
Anyhow, I decided that I wanted to surprise my mom and her S/O. My plan required us to leave MIL's at 6am, and arrive at our house at 9am, and I was shocked when it actually turned out just the way I wanted it to. We left at 6:20, and still managed to arrive just before 9am. Also, just as I had planned, Kim (my mom's S/O) was outside doing yardwork. We pulled up and hopped out, surprising the daylights out of him. After we unpacked and unloaded the truck, we headed to mom's office to surprise her there. Ahh...I love the predictablity in their behaviours. We made our rounds to various friends, before a killer caffeine withdrawl headache sent me back to the house with the kids, while Mr finished some errands that needed tending to.
I'm happy to be home, but see some repairs that will need tending to, if I'm to remain comfortable in the house here. I feel so much older, but I'm not that far gone.
Remind me to post my thoughts about who I am, and who I wished I were while in my youth.
I have pictures, and in all took about 700 on our trip accross the country. Gotta get my mom's computer in fine, working shape before I'll consider unloading my camera first though.
I'm happy to be home, where things make sense, and where I feel like I belong and fit in. I don't mind sticking out like a sore thumb, but I don't enjoy always having to explain my anscestry.
God, I can't wait to visit the rest of my family, but that'll come soon enough. Mom & Kim are off this week, and we'll be happy to be spending some major time with them before we make our hand at a new life back in the same old same old.

Saturday, July 11, 2009

One Night Left

We're in Post Falls, Idaho tonight. These days of driving the big truck are proving to be pretty hard on our truck driver.
It was a good day I suppose. I've spent the ast two and a half days riding in the big truck with said truck driver. Tomorrow we will arrive in Omak, Washington, and will be nearly done with our trip. We'll be spending a week in Omak, while Mr will find a new vehicle for our family, and then we'll be able to get this shit over and done with and head back home to BC.
Met with fellow blogger this morning, and had a wonderful convo for just over an hour. Was wonderfully enjoyable to be able to connect with someone that shared a common interest as myself that actually got along with my family.
Anyhow, we're on Pacific time now, had to reset my blogger to the corrent time, so that my posting isn't as off as it's been.
Remind me to blog about our fiasco at this hotel...I'm going to sleep now.

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Friday, July 10, 2009

Much Slower

I'm happy to report that today was a lot slower than the previous days.
We left our creepy kind of hotel in Cody, Wyoming, and headed straight for Yellowstone National Park, with intentions of seeing Old Faithful.
It's been a really rough going on the boys. No real stopping for them to actually play and enjoy the beauty of one of their home countries. It's hard for me to see them feeling so rough. Screaming, crying, whining, yelling, and in general being extremely angry and tough to please.
I hadn't ever planned on having such long days, but it really happened that way. My family continually vents their frustrations to me, and though I listen, it doesn't neccesarily mean I agree with anything that they have to say. I certainly have my own opinions about why things are going the was they go.
So, today was a bit of a relief, as we arrived into our new hotel by 5:30 (when we left ours at 9am earlier), our shortest day so far. We pulled in and got our room, and no sooner were the big bags brought in, than the boys hit the pool for some R & R boys style. I left them to their devices and pulled everything out of the car, with intentions of getting it re-organized & cleaned up. Managed three loads of laundry before bed. That's disgusting to admit, but true. Now all I need to worry about is getting a good night's sleep and re-organizing my bags and getting everyone bathed & reloaded in the morning. Should've done it tonight, but oh well.
I get to go meet Os tomorrow morning, which I'm really looking forward to, as it's something solely on my agenda, and thus more accomodating than most items. After, we'll be checking into a hotel someplace in Spokane, and then Sunday it'll be onto Omak for the final leg of our trip.
I have to admit, in retrospect, I've felt truly honored to havebeen able to see such historic monuments, and each one I viewed gave me goosebumps. I hope we can make a trip like this again with the kids, except with it being more enjoyable, because even though I loved the monuments, the rest of the trip I have absolutely hated. Those are really strong words for me to be using, as I don't tend to approve of that word, but it is how I feel about this trip. I am now thanking my lucky stars that we are almost finished with it.
Okay, taking advice here, and heading to bed early, hopefully tomorrow will have a brighter outlook for me :o)

Wyoming & Yellowstone National Park

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South Dakota & Wyoming

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Thursday, July 09, 2009

Friday Fill Ins #132 we go!

1. The last thing I ate was Spitz Sunflower Seeds and Oreo Snack Sticks.

2. New running shoes for the boys (I've been bathing them each night because their feet stink so badly from their sandals, I decided to go get them new sshoes, but all they had that were decent were running shoes) is something I recently bought.

3. When it rains, it really freaks Darius out, and makes me feel so badly that he's obviously got some sort of trauma regarding rain.

4. Hunter was the first person I talked to today.

5. Hugs are better than kisses because you can get them from anyone.

6. I can't wait to get back home for the extra comfort.

7. And as for the weekend, tonight I'm looking forward to making it to Bozeman Montana, tomorrow my plans include meeting Scott and Sunday, I want to relax at a nice hotel without feeling horrendously rushed!

Travel Tales

Alrighty. Day two is down, and we're on to day three.
We arrived lastnight, later than planned, at our hotel in Black Hawk, South Dakota. I cannot believe the fabulous service I received. My night turned into one of those nights, after we arrived. I had to do laundry, so as soon as we got in, I bathed the kids and headed down to the lobby for their guest laundry. Managed to get my stuff in rather quickly which was surprising, as I must've caught the tail end of a lineup for it. Did some blogging and left the kids with MIL & Mr while I got a sanity check. Afterwards, I checked out their lounge and waited until my laundry was done.
The service, first I was surprised that they had a super sized box of Baking Soda for me to borrow (soaked bottoms stink, and Baking Soda gets the odor out) for my laundry, they brought extra towels and blankets (already had mega pillows on the beds), gave me envelopes & paper for a couple of letters, had stamps available for purchase, and were very informative as to the local area. When I went to come upstairs after my laundry was done I forgot which room I was in, and wound up taking the evlevator back down to the front desk fromt he 3rd floor. After I came up and knocked, I realized that everyone had fallen asleep, and I didn't have a key to get in. Thankfully, the front desk lady was on my floor as well, delivering something to another room down the hall, so she was kind enough, to let me in.
Today the breakfast was filling and yummy.
We're headed to Mt Rushmore, YAY! Our first day of leisure I hope).
We had to pull over yesterday to wait out a huge storm passing through SD, so hopefully today we won'thit any delays. Cross your fingers. Oh yeah, I'm also breaking down and getting diapers for H, cause the rush has been on, and the wetting his pants thing is causing too much delay.
Anyhow, rushing out of the hotel again, everyone's getting mad at me for blogging...*sigh* why does the world have to move so fast??

Wednesday, July 08, 2009

Thursday Thunks

1. Do you tend to have a guilty conscious? Of course, is there any other kind?

2. Do you still have your wisdom teeth? Only one, and that one won't be in for much longer.

3. Peanut Butter - creamy or crunchy? Creamy please ;oD

4. Get up off your butt. Take 5 steps. Which leg did you start out on? Right

5. What color is your favorite kitchen utensil? Black and red, it's a fancy schmancy Tupperware Spatula (not the kind you flip eggs with, the kind you use to scrape out bowls)

6. Did you watch the Michael Jackson memorial/funeral?
No, I was on the road, unfortunately. I did buy two MJ magazines though to read ont he road, and was sorely disappointed (to the point of writing a letter to complain) with the editing and amount of grammatical & spelling errors in the Collectable History edition

7. Do you know anyone who graduated from
high school this year? Yes, actually, I do.
Were you invited to their graduation party? Did you go? No, because it was in another state. I sent well wishes with his brother, though.

8. White with black stripes or black with white stripes? White with black stripes, so long as I can wear something underneath. White doesn't really go with the dark skin without showing through real bad.

9. If we were to call your 6th grade teacher, what would they say about you?
My 6th grade teacher loved me! Mr. Morris, of South Rutland Elementary in Kelowna, such fond memories.

10. Can you draw a perfect circle? HA! No, not even close.

11. What was your favorite scratch & sniff sticker scent? There's a selection? Umm, I don't remember, so I'm gonna go with Root Beer.

12. What does your sibling do for a living? I don't have any siblings.

13. How many light switches and electrical outlets are in the room that you are in right now? Jesus, I'm in a Hotel Lobby waiting for my laundry to finish in the washer, how the hell would I know??!

14. Do you know sign language? Yes, over 100 signs, but who knows how helpful they would be.

15. Do you step on cracks in the sidewalk? Not really, no. Those damned brick sidewalks & roads drive me bonkers! Ohio had tons of them, like it was fashionable to break my mother's back!

16. And the sheets on your bed look like....? I don't have a bed at the current moment, it's in the back of the moving truck. My fav are an off white with a nice lace finish.

17. What is something that everyone else has, but you don't? Money. A job. A home of their own. Kids who listen. I could go on...I need a venting post soon, LOL.

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