Wednesday, April 04, 2007

Motivation Strike

Ok, so that's over and done with. The lack of motivation has kicked into motivation over-drive. Only because I know what needs to be done, and I've finally dragged my ass around to doing it.
Spent another 3 hours in Storage (yes, with both kids) sorting through everything.
I've pared down to about 6 boxes of "To keep" items so far. I still need to go through quite a bit, but I've managed to sort out bedding and linens out of what in storage (not including what's in the yard) and clothing is bagged by tops/bottoms, and I've got toys sorted out for the most part. I've gone through books, my old school stuff, pictures, sentimental items, and every box we're keeping I'm clearly labelling with what's inside. Most are farily heavy, but seeing as it's Chance handling them I'm not too concerned, specially since I can still lift them.
My body hurts, but I can't let myself let it go because if I stop I won't want to start again.
It bothers me that the stuff I'm going through has pieces of my life back to when we were children ourselves, and my husband isn't taking more action to help me with it. When I asked him to do a quick load over there yesterday while I was at my dentist appointment (Yes, I was out of the house for about an hour&1/2 by myself!) he said
"How do you expect me to do that with both kids??!"
I've been doing it, and as far as I'm concerned it's just an excuse. I'm hurt that he doesn't want to put forth more effort into seeing just how much moving away is hurting all of us, emotionally. Even he's been talking about the things, and people that he will miss. He's refusing to see that this is a choice he pushed me for for over 4 months, and this is the consequence of forcing me to that decision. I'm sad to be leaving. I'm not saying it wouldn't be best, or even better to stay here, but this is a very emotional decision, and he's refusing to validate that in any way, shape, or form.
With each day that goes by I feel like something is being taken away from me.

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