Friday, February 06, 2009

Yup, it's official...

I'm invalid.
Seriously. Taking a step back to when I was pondering moving here to Ohio, I knew things didn't usually work out for us, either through our own fault, or through some freak happening that always works against us. Sure enough, being the trusting fool that I am, I thought...ok, when we move it'll all be alright. Our "lawyer" says I'll be able to work no problem. That was my first mistake.
I should have waited until the f*in paperwork was in my hands before I even budged, seriously. I know better in these situations. I was foolish, and naive, and believed that everything could possibly work itself out.
First rug to come out from under me, I couldn't work when I arrived. Second rug was my lack of citizenship, and possible barring from the country. Now when I leave I won't be able to file anything until another 10 years (if at all) has gone by. Last rug. I don't qualify for an Ohio's Driver's License, so the company that handles our insurance has removed me from their policy.
Yup...I'm no longer allowed to drive.
This time last year I was homesick for a whole different set of reasons, now I'm just waiting to find a place where I belong...where I'm allowed.
I don't qualify for health care, I don't qualify as a dependent cause I don't have a SS#, I can't work, and now I can't even drive. I'm officially a prisoner. My life has just been reduced to what I can walk to, and nothing further unless someone can drive me. Does anyone want to wager how often I'll get time alone to myself out of the house now? No more late night shopping trips where everything is quiet for me. No more quick runs to the Drive Thru to fulfill late night cravings. No more heading out to meet a friend for a drink or to go shopping together. No more PTO meetings without a chauffer. That means my life will officially be scheduled around everyone else's business because I don't matter now. I'm barely even a person.
Yeah...I'm feeling sorry for myself.

2 thoughtful remarks:

Paula said...

If you are a Native American how can this be???? Hang in there. Sounds like a mess that needs to be straightened out...

Amarie said...

That's gotta be rough, hon. Depending on where a person lives, being able to drive where they want, when they want, is their key to freedom and independence. I don't drive, but because I live in a city wher you can hop in a cab, grab a bus or subway, it makes so much of a difference. But believe me, when it comes time to travel far distances, grocery shop, etc, it really is hindering to not be able to drive. We don't even have a car! I wish there was some way around all the mess.