Tuesday, April 14, 2009

Seems To be Going Around

That dreary, April feeling.
I'll be headed to bed after's bee a long day.
H had a dentist appointment today. There aren't enough words to describe just how traumatic it was for me. I can only hope H won't remember it.
I don't think I can write it all out completely right this moment, but suffice to say that it required myself, and another assistant to hold him down to get the last filling done. I felt an immense amount of satisfaction (more than any human probably should) when the clamp that they used to keep his mouth open slipped, and he chomped the Dentist's finger real good. Did I mention the dentist refused to use sedation? Yeah, H is 2 1/2 and he didn't want to use sedation. That should've been my first clue.
I feel immensely guilty that I didn't put a stop to it. I really should have after the first two in the back were done...but me being the useless fucking sheep that I am I just let him continue, and by the time I was absolutely certain I didn't want him working on my little H anymore it was too late to stop because he had already drilled his teeth and I couldn't remove him from the chair with open wounds, right?
He was red faced, sweating, and halfway out of his pants & undies by the time they finally finished.
I made it to the waiting room with him in my arms, passed him off to my MIL & broke down into the chair in a heap of sobs.
It took me about an hour to find a new Dentist for him once I got home...the dumbest people on the planet were manning the phones at each place that I contacted to see if they could work with a child under three, and use sedation.
So. Incredibly. Frustrating.
The minute I mentioned Medicaid they told me they couldn't work on him (even though I mentioned that if they didn't take it I could pay myself).
Why can't I have a bigger backbone? WTF is wrong with me? I'm his mother, you'd think I'd have the god-damned nerve to say get the fuck away from my child you raving lunatic with a license. I do believe I won the Bad Mom award today, if there ever was one.

5 thoughtful remarks:

Anonymous said...

No dear.
The bad mom award surely never goes to you. The bad mom award goes to the mom that wasn't even there. The one who DIDNT break down and cry.

Its ingrained in us from birth that the white coats are smarter and know what is best and are always doing what is best.

You didn't do anything wrong.

Nietha said...

That's rough but kids bounce back fast AND if he's anything like most of us in our family he won't remember a dang thing =) I'm sure he'll be okay.

Anonymous said...

hugs, yes you couldn't leave him with a gaping hole in his tooth. The stupid dentist should have known that there wasn't any freezing there when Hunter started kicking and such.
Dentist, ggrrr.
Cand is right, Hunter wont' remember. Poor bubba.
Hugs, mummie

Janet said...

You're not a bad mom in the least!

the girl in stiletto said...

amber, you're a mother, that's why you hate to see your child in that kind of situation. any mother would feel the same. there is nothing wrong with you. you're just acting on your motherly instinct. i'm not a dentist, so i don't know why the dentist didnt give any sedation to H. maybe he's more worried about the side effects & such. H is a brave strong boy, he'll do fine :)