Tuesday, April 07, 2009

How Embarrassing

Seriously blushing right now...Cruising Castanet for something to do, when I came across this story (scroll to the very bottom to read original):

Brad Pitt spotted in Kelowna

by Contributed - Story: 46040
Apr 1, 2009 / 2:30 pm

Lately there have been reports in some of the lower-echelon celebrity media that Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie are going through a rough spot, and are even sleeping apart. I’ve seen these “reports” and have refused to write about them, as I’m sure they are nothing but dirty rumors. And today I can safely proclaim them to be false, after a brief encounter with Pitt earlier today.

It all started yesterday morning when a friend of mine, Doug Striefler of West Kelowna, called to inform me that he and his son Lee were doing some mini-golfing over at Scandia. Doug rang me up, and in a harried voice, told me that just ahead of them, on the seventh hole, was whom we was sure to be Brad Pitt and son Maddox Jolie Pitt. “It’s really them, dude,” he practically screamed. “You gotta get your butt over here!”

Despite being very busy, I stopped what I was doing and hopped into the car with my wife. By the time we got there, of course there was no sign of Pitt or Maddox. “I swear, they were here!” Doug exclaimed. I asked a few other mini-golfers if this were true, and they all corroborated his story. “Yup! You just missed them. They didn’t stop for autographs or anything, but they’re outta here.”

We hopped back in the car and went on a Brad Pitt hunt. A few hours later my wife’s friend Karen, who works at Joey’s, called her and said that Pitt was just there with Maddox and enjoyed one of their delicious meals.

“Really?” Reena, my wife, said. “What was he like?”

“Dreamy as always,” Karen replied. “But it was weird. He requested that a twine-like netting be wrapped around his booth so that all of our other customers wouldn’t bother him. He joked around with the staff, and Maddox yucked it up with a few of us too. But they generally kept to themselves.”

“Was he a big tipper?” My wife asked.

“Yup! Like 50%. What a guy. When I asked if there was anything else I could bring him, after he had paid the bill on his Platinum card, he actually said, ‘Just the tip?’ I asked him if he said that to all the girls. He laughed hysterically. What a moment!”

But alas, Pitt and Maddox were gone. So we spent the rest of the day trying to locate him all the while asking ourselves whether to alert the media or not. Selfishly, we decided to wait until we found him.

That time came this morning, when Bob, a faithful Soup reader, emailed me to tell me that he spotted Pitt and Maddox at Knox Mountain and that it didn’t seem like they were in any rush to leave. Reena and I whipped up there and sure enough, at the top of the mountain by the pagoda-like structure. Nobody but them and us. It was chilly outside, but we were all dressed appropriately.

Pitt was somewhat subdued, but very open to each question my wife and I had for him. He is still very happy about Angelina and his life. They probably will adopt more babies. And he spent quite a bit of time promoting his new film Inglorious Basterds to us.

Then he interrupted our conversation by grabbing onto the structure and leaning over Kelowna shouting, “I’m the king of the woooorld!”

“But isn’t that a Leonardo DiCaprio thing?” I ask him.

“Yeah, but that line never gets old,” Pitt replies.

The four of us paused for a quiet moment. Then Pitt rounds up Maddox and tells me they’ve gotta go.

“But it’s been such a nice conversation,” I say.

“And you didn’t get to finish that Angelina story,” Reena says.

“But am I really here?” Pitt asks.

“What?” my wife and I answer in unison.

“Am I really here. Are you really talking to me right now.” Pitt says again.
“I’m not sure I’m getting you,” I say.

“What day is it?” he asks.

“It’s Wednesday.”

“Wednesday the WHAT?” Pitt again, starting to get on my nerves.

“Wednesday. The first of April,” I say.

“I’m not really here. This isn’t happening. It’s April first, buddy. You must be dreaming or something. It’s been nice, but I think it’s all in your head. Later, man!” Pitt says. And with that, he and Maddox were gone.

Happy April Fool’s everybody!

It's been a week...I'm such a frickin sucker. Guess I should pay more attention to the dates on the stories.

2 thoughtful remarks:

skywind said...

Some embarrassing things, we can not be avoided. But we can also put a bad thing into a good thing. :)
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Real Live Lesbian said...

Oh man!!! You totally had me....and today's the 8th!