Monday, May 14, 2007

Well, it's officially been a week since Chance left. Darius had his first "I miss Daddy" meltdown lastnight...was kinda rough. What stopped him was seeing me cry. He stopped and asked why I was crying, and I said, "I'm sad because you're sad". I ended up giving him one of daddy's shirts that had his bodywash and deoderant on it. Was tough.
Today was busier than snot. I had a ton of phone calls to make this morning, making arrangements for appointments and such. Got D signed up for 3 classes at Johnson Bently, two of which start this Friday. Tommorow I have my first orientation at the Body Fit gym where I got my 3 month membership. Then I have the kids booked in there for Thursday evening. I'm trying my best to keep us busy, but the nights are definately the worst of everything. For both the kids and I...I'm left with just too much time to think, and stew.
The longer I think, the angrier I get...the more I just want to scream.
I've gottem my room almost the way I want it to look. I never put up posters when I was married because Chance didn't like them, so I'm enjoying the freedom of expression.
I'm hoping things will get easier, and clearer in my mind as time goes on, but I feel so torn.
This is so much more difficult with kids.

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