Sunday, January 18, 2009

Lack Of Sleep Will Do That

Sometimes I really wish my Mr would get a sense of better timing...then again, maybe I'm just not communicating enough.
He called last night from work to tell me he was bringing the crew home with him to have a few drinks and kick back to watch me get my butt whooped playing Wii. Yeah, so I scrambled to tidy up a bit, then get the kids to sleep, and prepare myself for another sleepless night playing hostess. Enter 1:30, I'm playing Wii and really just ready to go to bed, but am busy shushing everyone and reminding them to clean up after themselves, when we get a phone call from a friend who's stuck in a ditch...I'm the only sober person, so I run out to see if I can help him out (with a few buddies, of course) but alas, he was jammed up good, don't even know how he managed to get himself into that pickle. 3am, I arrive home and am starving, and proceed to make myself something to eat, when I realize, OMG, I volunteered to babysit the next morning for a co-worker of the Mr.'s. 4am, hit the sack and wish I hadn't even done the night at all...
8am, roll outta bed and worry about what my game plan is for handling 3 kids when I'm tired will be. Get a gradual idea that I'm sure will appease all the ages present and proceed to clean up the god awful mess leftover from the previous night. Sticky floors, enpties everywhere, and general chaos from stuff being left out instead of being put away. I was so angry this morning it was difficult to be pleasant for getting the Mr out of bed.
As an afterthought before I continue on, I wonder if we use those ppl we spend these nights with as a vitality booster into our own lives. Is that normal?
Now, all of this sounds awful, I can read. Usually when we have people over we sit around the table and chat and play card games and relax...and at the end of the night we clean up and go to bed. I'm not certain what happened with lastnight's plans, but I think they got out of control, which is rare...though looking back I can spot the catalysts.
In all honesty it's not really the mess that's bothering me, and has me all steamed up now...What bothers me most is how difficult it is for the Mr to be affectionate during these get togethers. I really dislike watching other couples come over and have that which I do not right in front of my face. I have a lot, don't get me wrong...but I don't have those which I crave most. I've learned to content myself with what I've got and taught myself to be grateful for what's there and to ignore what's missing.
One could argue here, that I bring it on myself, that I don't give enough of myself, or that I don't start it, like, you know...treat others as you'd like to be treated. I do try and give what I've got, but there is always room for improvement. I could compliment more, I could try taking a more formal approach, I could try just turning that whole craving thing off.
My point in all of this, is that stupid little nag that's been a major nuiscance in our marriage since it began, is showing it's head again and I just badly want to shove it under the covers cause I can never tell if it's just me or not.
I'm really trying to fight dwelling on all of those negative points here...I guess lack of sleep will do that.

3 thoughtful remarks:

Jodi said...

I totally understand the whole lack of sleep thing. Last night I didn't sleep at all. Not one wink. I am dragging butt today. It makes me SO sensitive too. Maybe that could be affecting you that way also? All I know is that I could burst into tears at any given moment. Plus it makes me cold too and just feel run down. Today is my first day back at work and all I can think about is going home to bed.

I hope you feel better soon! I hope you are able to get some rest.

Anonymous said...

sonds like fun, except the lack of sleep thing.
Lack of sleep might cause the dwelling on the negative. Never a good thing to do though.

LarryG said...

sounds like you have not set a healthy boundary that works for you.
I would strongly suggest you consider what works, talk it over with Mr and come to an agreement.
You guys have a good situation so don't let it get mucked up because a lack of a boundary.
EX. Honey you are welcome to have them over, but 11pm is lights out.
That's fair and you can still keep your Saturday promise.
just a thought.