Wednesday, August 19, 2009

I have compiled a list of things that I wanna do at my Gramma's...there simply wasn't enough time when I was there last. There probably won't be enough time this next time I go as well. Rather, it'll be forced to be something that I'm working on constantly.
We're headed up there again tomorrow, so that we may be home when my Grandpa gets there, and coming back here on Saturday eve.
I was hoping to find a Home Care Aide for Gramma, but the research I've done so far has lead me to believe that anyone I find will be insufficient and minuscule in their aide in comparason to myself. I'd love more than anything, to go up and take care of her myself. It would rock to be paid to be doing it, but I'd do it just as soon for free as for money.
Yes, I'd love to move up there, if it were just me. I have a family to consider though. Where will my kids go to school? How many friends can they make in a town with 350 ppl in it? How long can I expect their bus rides to school be? Where would I work? Where would I live?? Yes, I could move in with my Gramma, but then we'd (all four of us) be living out of one room, and her place constantly has visitors. Also, she'd eventually drive me insane.
Am considering asking her to move elsewhere with us. My next step would be trying to scrape the money together to get said place. I know it would be hard for her though...leaving her huge garden, and a place she's lived in for ages. I wouldn't ask her to go far though, just closer to civilization to be comfortable with kids, but far enough away for them to still consider it countryside.
I have to apply for MSP for the kids (Medical Services Plan of BC aka Universal Healthcare), though I'm not sure if they're eligible for another two months or so or not.
We've been discussing it, and still haven't figured out which school to send D to yet. Still need to figure out the enrollments of the two we've whittled it down to.
I remain unemployed. It's frustrating as fuck. Everything up here seems to require a certificate. To be a server/waitress you need a Superhost/Serving It Right certificate, to handle any food you need to have a FoodSafe, to do any home care you need a First Aide/CPR. All entry level positions in offices require certain programs that I have no idea about. I am experienced, I am smart, but I am un-certified.
The kids seem to have settled in, and know the lay of the land. They can tell me where we are going when I turn a certain direction, which is always entertaining.
I feel like a parasite. Feeding and sucking the life out of the family members I habitate with and am closest to. I suck their money, food, and gas dry. All because I don't have a job. It's humiliating, and humbling, and just down right not fair. It is not, though, unexpected.
I'm tired.

2 thoughtful remarks:

Ronnie said...

Sometimes, it's best to follow through with the original plan so that you don't lose focus on your priorities. We all love our families and want to do what we can for them, but sometimes it's not realistic. Doing the right thing is sometimes the most difficult because it doesn't always meet the needs of everyone. As parents, our children are our priority (yes, even when they're adults). BTW, a parasite takes and doesn't give in you really think that applies to you? I don't think so...

Ronnie said...
For CPR/First Aid training in your area. Ask Red Cross about CNA training to get your certificate. Sometimes, nursing homes offer the program free (you get paid during training because you'll go to work for them afterwards). Hope this gets you going in the right direction.