Monday, July 27, 2009

It's hot. After a weekend of rain and thunderstorms that were spectacular to watch, we're headed into a heat wave.
I'm working now on trying to figure a decent schedule with the boys, so that we can find a comfortable way for the dynamics here to work.
I'm still super tired, and actually wouldn't be working on things right now if I hadn't broken down and made myself some coffee.
Mr had gotten himself excited that the processing times for Immigration paperwork up here were going to be short. After contacting the person who's helping file everything, he found them to be the same...6-9 months before we can hope for any response. We're literally wasting our lives away waiting.
I can say honestly that I didn't expect anything different, but it's so disheartening knowing that's it's going to be this concrete time frame. I am now responsible for my family. For their finances, care, and to make sure they have everything they need. Sure, I have parents who can help, but the fact that I can't just sit down and have one financial conversation with my Mr and know that it's all taken care of is so sad. Now, to be able to make it work, I need to talk to Mr, my Mom, and MIL just to be sure the boys don't want and that we're all healthy.
I feel like such a loser.
I've wasted my 20's waiting to be an equal with my husband, and I feel like it's been denied as some big joke, so I can entertain someone. Haha, look at that insignificant human over there, watch her struggle cause it's funny how her legs go one way and he arms flail about.
I just want to know success for my family. it really just feels hopeless, and that that dream is just going to float away.
At least I got our rooms straightened out.
I think I'm going to go make dinner and wash the dishes. Maybe the soap suds will help me clean up my outlook.

4 thoughtful remarks:

Janet said...

I hope the soap suds did the trick :-)

Ama said...

You're way too hard on yourself and take things too personally. Things will work out in their time for you and Chance. Focus on what you both have control over and you'll excel. All the little wins add up, so take those as your successes for now!

Nietha said...

Your family is still young - plenty of time to get everything you want!

Hepburn Hilton said...

At a loss for words! So sad to read this, but try to keep in mind that when this period is over, it probably will be better! And hopefully then, you can look back and see how far you and your family has come and see that it was all worth it in the end :)