Friday, June 19, 2009

I am so pathetic...

I got lot's of sleep today. I slept in this morning, letting Mr take kid duty. I got up for about an hour, then fell back asleep under the pretenses of putting H down for a nap where he wound up abandoning me. I then slept for at least another 3 hours before finally rolling out of bed around 3:30pm. Crazy huh? I'm still tired, still feel like I could get another 12 hours t least to round out the full 24 I was hoping for.

I'm angry. I'm hurting, for my kids.
H peed on a leather chair in the house today. Mr said it was time to put him in Pull-Ups, and MIL doesn't want to drive across the country without him in Pull Ups.
Does anyone out these know my take on Pull Ups? It's a subject I feel strongly about. They may be for some people, but they aren't for me. I believe that if I'm using Pull Ups, I might as well still be using a diaper, and that they're basically a waste of time and money. I've worked hard to potty train him, it took me about 3 weeks to do. Then we moved. He's peeing himself everywhere, at any time...except when we go out. I can always manage to get him to a potty before he wets himself whenever we're out. Why do you think that is blog friends?? We go through at least 15 pairs of undies in a day, countless shorts & pants, and by the time bedtime hits I'm generally out of PJ bottoms too. That's a minimum of a load of laundry a day, just to keep up with soiled clothing. I've stopped letting him sleep in my bed to avoid sheet changes, and change his sheets about every two days. It's a lot of work, yes...but that's what happens when you have kids, right? In my opinion, if I cave & do Pull Ups, it's giving up on my child.
I'm angry, because these vocal opinions that are shared, means that I'm somehow failing as a potty training mommy. It's a whacked way of taking it personally, but basically what they're saying is that my child isn't as perfect as I think he is, that they just don't see him in the same light that I do. I know, I should already know this right? I do, but why should it be glaringly shoved in my face on a daily basis? Why is that ok? It's not ok...I just have no choice.
Let me ask you this, blogger you like it when others yell at your child because they're doing something child-like? It's a harmless little thing, really, but they're doing it, even though they were told no. What do you do when others yell at your child for doing something they don't like, in their home? There's only so many times I can reprimand my children for minute, little things before they're going to tune me out.
It's tough knowing what a disappointment my children are to others. To see other's exasperation and exhaustion with my children.
I want to wrap them up in my arms, hold them close, and keep them away from prying eyes, so they don't have that chance to feel anything negative towards them. Irrational.
It's horrible listening to others say something like "Even though I just asked you not to do that, you do it anyways because you are Darius/Hunter".
Those things aren't meant in the personal way I take, I know. But I'm passionate about my parenting, as if it wasn't obvious.
If you were a two year old protesting your parents letting others raise their voices to you, living in a new environment, how would you react?
Know what I'm dreading??? The knowledge that we'll need to live with others for at least another year. Knowing that I'm going to be a bottom feeding low life who's going to suck my family dry before I'm through. I'm not saying that it will be just like this for the next year, but it's a big adjustment for our family. Just shoot me now before I have to face my ultimate failure and find out what a loser I truly am.

6 thoughtful remarks:

Ragtop Day said...

I want to give you a big hug. You are not a loser. You are not pathetic. You are tired and you are stressed. And most of all you love your children and want to protect and nurture them.

I was fortunate with potty training with both my kids, but I am fully with you on the Pull Up thing. They are really just an expensive diaper. For your own sanity, you might want to consider putting H back in diapers, just for awhile. Fifteen accidents a day is way more than my own sanity would be able to take. Moving is stressful on kids too. It's completely natural for him to regress. Having accidents can't be helping his confidence, especially if other people are judging him for it. Once things settle down you can work on it again, and chances are it will go much faster. But just let him have some success again, is probably what I would be thinking.

And if people are chastising my kids for being kids? For being who they are? I would have a real problem with that! Not sure I have any wise or even un-wise words on that one, but neither you or your children should have live like that.

Hoping things get better for you - YOU ARE NOT A LOSER!!

Bud Weiser, WTIT said...

Okay, deep breaths. I raised 4 kids. All did eventually use the toilet. All kids are different. Relax! My money is on that you are a FANTASTIC mom!

only a movie said...

I was living at my mom's house when my son was potty-training. I don't remember much of that... so I'm thinking that mom wasn't helpful.

hang in there, you're a great mom!

Nietha said...

I say if it'll ease tensions all around, put him in pull-ups/diapers - no yelling anywhere with that solution, right?
A set-back doesn't mean absolute failure. It's not like he'll *never* be potty-trained, everyone knows it's already possible, it's just going to take longer. There's nothing wrong with that.

Hepburn Hilton said...

Hi Amber!

First, no wonder you are tired, sleeping to much often makes you even more tired.

About your child, I wish I could gice you advice but I can't since I have neer had to potty train anyone. I stuggeled with my dog though, but I guess that is a another ballgame. How ever, I can relate to feeling like other people could keep there opinions to themselves. I don't understand people like that, it is not like them commenting on the situation will change it or make it easier on you or you sun. If there is no helpful advice inolved, I think people can keep their mouths shut.

Hope today is a brighter day!

Shannon said...

You're not a failure because H isn't ready for potty training yet. When he was doing good, was it because you were taking him every hour, or was he telling you he had to go? It's a setback for you, not for him. He won't ever remember this. Besides, he is still only 2 (for a couple more days). Don't stress it!

When Derek had his binky addiction, I tried to make him go cold turkey. After 3 days, I gave up ... felt like a failure, figured he'd be taking the binky to school. He just wasn't ready at that time. A few months later, we tried again and viola! No tears, he said goodbye to them and threw them in the trash himself.

I don't know if you're comparing H and D and when one accomplished certain milestones, but don't do it. They're each going to achieve milestones at their own pace.

Hope that helps!