Friday, August 12, 2011

For Now

What a week.
Made arrangements to come up and help Mr & boys move their way down to the Okanagan region, had to catch Greyhound up, and drive the truck back. Spent today loading up the moving truck, and cleaning the house behind them.
Wednesday a family member passed away somewhat unexpectedly. Am sad and disappointed. Full of thoughts of person and memories that I have.
My therapy session went very well this week, as I was full of positive, assertive thoughts of how my next few years are to be structured. from Parasailing to schooling to a possible move from to the Island for myself. Was interesting to see it all written down in a timeline frame and realize that my random thoughts really aren't so random after all.
I may not be perfect, I make mistakes, and can be silly, but I'm comfortable with who I am. Right now, in this moment, I'm comfortable with who I am. I'm quirky, honest, inquisitive, sensitive and genuine. I'm a listener, I'm generous, and I'm helpful. I like me right now. I'm not making excuses for my personality, or apologizing for saying the wrong thing, or blushing from embaressing myself as I so often feel the need to when I'm in Mr's presence.
I've come to the realization that I've been supressing the genuine aspect of my personality for so long that I've been making myself incredibly unhappy and angry because of it.
I'm not afraid to say what I want to say, I'm not ashamed of my thoughts, I like the way dress and the way I look, and I truly enjoy smiling.
So, tomorrow, we're driving back down, and today is the last day they are in Clearwater. I'm comfortable not going and saying good-bye to those that I believe are Mr's friends.

2 thoughtful remarks:

Osbasso said...

Great that you're finding yourself, and a big double thumbs up on the positivity!

Osbasso said...

Yoohoo...just checking in on you!