Wednesday, August 18, 2010

Hanging By A Thread

We are clinging to a small grasp of reality. String are all that hold our entire family up, and there's so much tension on them, I'm surprised they have not burst sooner.
While the children were away, we identified causes of tension that existed, which we had previously ignored.

Trying to deal with those issues with the children here really just feels impossible.
The amount of items that need to be dealt with are really just tallying themselves up. Where does one go when they stack so high you can't escape their shadows? It's not like I can just pick one and go from there, when they all have deadlines.
I'm not the only one in this boat either. It seems like my entire family, distant and close, are all suffering from this enormous reality clash that has the potential to swallow us all whole, until it seems we never existed at all.
It's all too much. I'm strong, but no one was ever made to face such things. How can I be expected to hold it together when I've fallen apart? I feel useless, aged, and exhausted. I feel incapable, and unable to face the reality that stares me in the face in the mirror each morning I wake.
I can see, that if things don't work the way they need to in the next 30 days, the potential to lose all that I've worked for in the last 6 months (or 9 years) will completely crumble.

1 thoughtful remarks:

Ama said...

Let me know if there is some way I can support the two of you. I love you all and really wish things were better. You know I will do what I can and would do so with the best end result as the goal... (()) *HUGS*