Sunday, May 31, 2009

Allergies Suck

I've been trying to enjoy my weekend.
This moving is playing havoc with everything. D has been absolutely horrible lately. He's confused as to who to listen to, and what rules have stayed the same.
I'm not a big schedule kinda gal. I can be, but when it's just a regular day with nothing on the calendar in the way of obligations, I don't have a set schedule as to what we are doing. I don't do out of bed at the same time every morning, and know minute by minute what we're to have accomplished by bedtime. This is really starting to rear it's ugly head, and school's not even out yet.
Hunter has turned into a bully, beating on his brother, who teases him horrendously. He bites him, throws things at him, punches hime, and plays really rough with him. When I tell them to stop, they ignore me until I need to step in and hand out time outs, or separate them altogether. That makes me sad.
It really shows my lack of parenting skills, and frustrates me to no end. It's not as if this wasn't already going on, not to this extent though. The worst part for me, is that someone else is witnessing this, and that person is someone I look up to.
Mr and I have hit some turbulence of late, whether it be by my own actions, or his assumptions, or possibly a mixture of both...but anything that's between us isn't nice at the moment. Let's hope that calms down before our cross-country trip.
I'm finished moving us out, was out of the place by 9pm Friday eve, and on my way home I realized I had forgotten two things in my rush to get out, and had to phone the landlord. *sigh* Classic example of rushing.
Saturday we went to a campground to spend the day with our fellow Cub Scouts out in the great outdoors. It was a camp-out over-nighter, but I had made up my mind that we wouldn't stay cause it was too much work, after a really hectic week. We arrived and played, and it didn't take long for D to get into trouble. He wound up with a black eye and a big bruise on is cheekbone because he was jumping on someone's air mattress like it was a trampoline and conked heads with someone else. That was just the beginning of a truly embaressing display of tantrums. He cried, he screamed, he yelled, he backtalked, he disobeyed, didn't listen, and even hurt other people's property. In the end, the only reason why we stayed was because Mr was the Den Leader and his presence was needed.
I broke down on the way home. A combo of too much moving stress, a lack of ability to control my children, ToM, horrible allergies that left me afraid to drive us home (my eyes get swollen when there's too much pollen in the air and breezy days with leafy trees will do that), and just general lack of energy had left me in a dark mood. I blew up at Mr.
I woke up this morning and couldn't open my eyes because they were caked shut with dried goop. My body's reaction to the tree pollen. I made breakfast, showered myself & the kids, and hit the road (kid free) to go visit a friend I hadn't seen in a while. I needed it. Bought myself some shoes, and headed back home.
I started trying to go through boxes of junk today. I still need to find the stuff to set aside for FIL, and get rid of more stuff cause it just doesn't look to me like it will fit into the U-Haul we'll be renting. I wasn't brutal enough the first round, let's hope I can pull it off in the second round. I also need to set up our bedrooms, get our laundry & clothing put away cause we're working out of boxes/dresser drawers stacked against the wall/laundry baskets. The house is a disaster zone, and I'm happy MIL & S/O are out of town for the time being cause I would put myself under more pressure to get it put away as quickly as possible. I'm getting it done, just at a slower pace.
I hope there's an end in sight, cause I truly am just not seeing it. Say a prayer for me, will ya?

5 thoughtful remarks:

the girl in stiletto said...

my prayers are with you, amber. maybe the boys were just acting up because they were confused (and not because you were a terrible mother). and hope your allergies will settle down :) or at least take some tablets for it.

Debbie said...

Things will get better. hugs to you. and waking up with your eyes caked shut - ewww no fun!

Osbasso said...

Things are just stressful right now with the move, and another move coming up, and nervousness about meeting certain people in the not-too-distant future... ;-)

If we haven't read your name in the jail reports, you're doing fine!

My expressions LIVE said...

Hang in there...we all have these times...they do get better...xoxoxoxo

Anonymous said...

hope you feel better soon