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Thursday, January 29, 2009

Sledding & Patience

Had friends over last night, after I got the kids to sleep, of course. Last night was horrendous, for the record. I felt horrible, tired, fatigued, like I had run a marathon and was in an energy hangover. Thankfully, once I explained to the boys that I wasn't feeling so hot and to take it easy on me, they eased up on the amount of energy they had and slowed down a bit. They both went to sleep with little fuss.
Did I mention that H has begun adjusting to his own bed? He's been sleeping in it for about 4 hours each night by himself, without me being right there, and even through the whole night when I feel up to going and getting him back to sleep. Slowly but surely, we'll eventually get there.

Anyhow, had folks over, played some cards, had a few chuckles.
Today, ugh. We all rolled out of bed on the wrong side. Everyone was grouchy, and grumpy, and touchy. D had a rough morning getting off to school, Mr was pretty frustrated just trying to get him out the door. Once I got up not long later, we kinda bummed around before moseying to get ready to go sledding. Mr had invited those who were here the night before, but no one showed (no surprise, they didn't exactly dress appropriately last time and were frozen when we finished, so they really didn't have that much fun)...so we left by ourselves. Anyhow, the snow was light and powdery and flew in the face quite easily, but it was fun.
Poor Mr has been frustrated by I don't know what of late, enough to warrant spats here and there over minor insignificant things, and a feeling of heightened tension looming, like a storm on the horizon.
I've been having issues with said folks who visit and the behavior surrounding such things. Suffice to say that I feel like I'm a bit of a stranger, and something is lacking. Bringing it to light to my Mr, he doesn't really grasp why I feel that way, and after getting frustrated trying to explain it to him when I don't fully understand it myself, I just left it at "I'm in need of something, it's your duty to comply. There should be no why". I feel like I'm floating along on truly thin ice between a line of the regular tolerant me, and the side where I become a psychotic bitch. Now, it's not really that far from me, honestly. I'm not a jealous person, never really have been (I'm comfortable in the knowledge that I will always be the better person). All the things I've seen so far have been working their way to making me one, and I just don't like feeling that way, so am taking appropriate steps to adjust that, and hopefully remedy the situation.
Suffice to say that today was a nice stress reliever, but it didn't diminish the underlying tensions that seem to be abounding. Sad, but with faith and communication, all will be well. Sometimes it just takes time to process before we can express it clearly, and I'm patient, so I don't mind waiting until he's put his finger on it before he brings it up to me. Until then all I can do is suggest those other alleviators to help us cope with the rough terrain that we really seem to be facing.

1 thoughtful remarks:

My expressions LIVE said...

I wish it would warm up a bit, I would love to take the kids sledding, the stress relief and fun are so rewarding. Maybe you and the Mr need some time alone together, stress relief from the normal daily life. Have a nite away!