I forgot to mention...
I saw Tia go cross eyed last night!

Took the day off yesterday for some Target Practice with Art & Gary. Took the family and loaded them up for a nice drive in the hills. H was out within 20 minutes of us getting on the back roads.
I took some pictures and posted them on Flickr.
I shot a can off a log first with some fancy gun that kicked back, which surprised me. I don't know much about guns, really. I don't usually even like handling them, but I felt like doing something different yesterday, so I did.
I still have 5 costumes left to make. I'm wondering if they'll do for them because when I took them in on Friday they asked if they would fit adults too, which they won't. I'm wondering how I'll manage, but I always do in the end. :o)
Friday we went to the school because it was Terry Fox Day where they had their annual Terry Fox Run with the school. Cause it was such a yucky day out (rainy and windy) they decided to hold it indoors in the gym. They organized it quite nicely. The kids all had Popsicle sticks with their names on it, and they had to run around the perimeter of the gym and each time they made one lap they had someone make a line on their stick. 30 laps is 1 mile, and D made a whopping 19 laps! That's half a mile! I was very impressed, and proud of him.
Chance took the role as participator and ran with the kids who asked to race him, and I was cheering everyone on, as well as taking pictures and handing them water when they needed it.
It was days like that that make me proud to be a Canadian. All the kids did wonderful jobs, and some of the older ones even filled both sides of their sticks all the way. It's amazing that they don't even comprehend the full impact of their support. It's amazing that they just do, without thinking of why.
In any event, I took 95 pictures and will be forwarding them to the school, as well as posting them to Flickr too.
We leave for Ohio on Wednesday...and though I'm really disappointed to be leaving home, I know that I can return whenever I want if it doesn't work out.
I'm hoping Jill can hold off on having her baby until I arrive, cause it'd be great to go to the delivery room with her. If not, at least I'll see her daughter while she's still new.
Anyhow, just uploading pictures, then I'm going backto making costumes...I'll get pictures on Tuesday when I turn them all in, and I'll have kids modelling them, hopefully.

Posted a few pictures to Flickr.
I've been a sewing machine this week. So far though, I've only gotten 4 costumes done. I cut out 4 more last night though, and am planning on finishing them today. It's all basic structures, so they're they're not too difficult. I've got about 4 left after these ones and I'm done, but they're the most difficult because I have to create patterns for them from scratch.
It'll be interesting, I'll post pix of them when I get an opportunity.

Well, the weekend was kinda slow for me.
Went to Gramma's, and the boys went hunting, so Hunter and I stayed at the house. I didn't really do much, just watched movies and puttered around.
After we got back lastnight I cut out a couple of costumes, but realized I lost my list so I'll need to phone them today to get them to re-read it to me.
Gonne be a sewing machine this week.

Panic

Oh my god.
So, thir morning I spent sewing the Eagle costume, and got as far as finishing the body tunic, before it was time for Baby Group. I knew that the Parent Teacher Interviews were today, and that the kids were being dismissed early from school, so I phoned the school and requested that Darius be dropped off at the Daycare as the bus usually runs there anyways. They agreed and said that that was fine, so I went on my way to Baby Group expecting Darius to arrive just before 1pm.
1pm rolled around and he wasn't there, and I was waiting for the phone line at the daycare to open up so I could phone the school and ask what was going on, when they phoned the daycare looking for me.
The secretary at the school said the bus driver arrived back at the school telling her that Darius had gotten off the bus at his regular stopped, and that another parent had said she'd take him home.
Panic had set in me at this point as I didn't know the parent's name or her address (she was an aunt of two kids D attended class with) so I hopped in the car and raced home, having a panic attack on the way wondering what has happened to my son.
I phoned mom, frantic with worry, and she said she'd meet me at home.
When I arrived home, there was a note on the door from Karen (Matt's wife from next door) that said she had Darius at her house. I raced over, and poured in the door, almost a sobbing mess. I hugged him tight for about 5 minutes with Karen offering me kleenex on the side.
She said once Darius realized that there was nobody home, he went next door to their house to see if they knew where I was.
I'm so relieved and amazed that my son knew what to do in the situation that he was presented with, and grateful that my neighbors were available to help as well.
He told Nana after she got there that if they weren't home he would've simply kept trying the neighbors houses until he found one that would keep him until I arrived.
I'm angry at the school, and at the bus driver, but mostly with myself for being lazy (I hadn't wanted to leave Baby Group early to pick up D, but wanted to stay for conveniences' sake).
The Parent Teacher Interview went well, and any and all questions I had for the teacher were answered, but tomorrow I'll need to go and have a word with the Secretary and the Bus Driver if possible.
I know I won't be foolish enough to arrange anything else in the future.
What puzzles me is that you need a written consent form for ANYone to pick up your child from the bus stops, and I'm wondering how in the hell the Lady was able to walk off with my son without authorization.
I'll be spending this evening figuring out what I want to say without being overly abrasive.

It's pouring out today.
Woke up this morning thinking it sure is coming down, then passed it off to myself as I lie in bed waking up, as the fan in our room.
The past two mornings I've ended up with both boys in bed with me.
I've almost got the morning routine down pat.
Got Parent Teacher interviews at the school today and tomorrow so D gets out of school early. I'm hoping to get in for one today, but we shall see how it goes.
Went to Parenting Group last night, which was pleasant and enjoyable, as always.
It's amazing to me that I started doing things with the Band run programs in February and I'm just now starting to feel as if I really belong with everyone, and can relate fairly well to them, and never-mind that, but I've found nothing that deters me from wanting to spend time with them all.
That sense that I'm an outsider is no longer there, and I'm on a first name basis with most everyone I come across with the band.
So, by the time I got to the dentists yesterday Hunter's "Eruption Hematoma" had broken, and was no longer there. The dentist did say he was cutting about 5 or 6 teeth though. He recommended Children's Motrin as opposed to Tylenol.
I guess I need to hit the store at some point today.
I really need to start the costumes I have out. I'm nervous about making them because I know they're for the school, and will eventually end up in a play, in front of lots of people. I keep thinking I need to make them overly-well.
We turned the furnace on for the first time this season today.
I need to fold and put away my laundry, cause it's all over the place.
Have Baby Group today, am hoping to go after I pick up D from school. We shall see what becomes of the day.

I'm hoping to get some costumes thrown together now that D is in school full time.
D is complaining that he doesn't like going all day, cause he says he misses me.
Taking Hunter to the dentist tomorrow to have them check out what someone called a "eruption hematoma" just to make sure that that is what it is.
Made a mess of the clean house mom had today. She stayed home from work today and had it nice and tidy, then I pulled out all the fabric boxes and we sorted them, and made a big stinkin mess. hehehe.
I'm disappointed in myself.
Phoned poison control today cause was afraid Hunter had swallowed a bunch of diaper rash cream, but isn't the case.
Went to a diabetes support group tonight, which was informative.
Am hoping to get some stuff cut out tonight to start sewing this week.
Chance is talking about going to Gramma's this weekend.
Wonder what we can do...

Just Right

You know, it didn't take me long once I started, but I finished Harry Potter in just about 28 hours.
Spent my weekend doing just what I wanted to do, which was relax, and take a mental breather.
Darius starts full days at Kindergarten this week.
I'm still sick, but it's just a congestion thing now, which is nice.
Hunter has a big black mass in his mouth on his gum, and the Dr. said it was just from him teething, which I think is a load of shit. If I can, tomorrow I'm gonna take him back in to our Dr.
Woke up to a mainly clean house (though some stuff was just shoved to the side, and shifted, it was clean) which was nice. Two days in a row of sleeping in, amazing.
It's really just a way to avoid everything that's going on, that's going to happen.
I arranged counseling services for us, in the hopes of figuring something out, and after our individual sessions, the counselor had an emergency come up and had to cancel, and isn't in this week. Which puts me in a jam. That leaves me on my own again, to explain to the brick wall what I'm thinking and feeling, only to have it bounced off of.
There's never any leeway, never any compromise, just one or the other.

Yesterday was a terribly long day. I spent the morning reading, and waiting for Hunter to wake up. I got myself ready, and went to my counseling appointment, and had what I felt to be, a very good session. Afternoon was ok I spose, I spent some time with D playing Zelda, and reading. Then I got him on the computer to watch a movie while I did the dishes and got dinner going.
That was it for my productivity, cause it sure wiped me out. I ate, and then just felt terrible for the rest of the night. Most likely because the drugs I had taken in the morning to get me through had worn off. So, I raged through a cold spell, and that lasted for the majority of the evening. Afterwards as I got ready for bed I drugged myself up, yet again, and it turned itself into a hot spell.
It's funny when one gets sick, they wonder how come the world doesn't stop with them. I wanted the doctors to come rushing, and an ambulance to see me, and everyone moping and moaning next to my bed. Hehehe, which they pretty much were, I'm glad it wasn't just me on my own, cause it would've sucked otherwise. :o)
I pigged out on fruit, and tea with honey, and hot water. Felt like I peed every 20 minutes.
Yesterday whatever I had was making my jaw and ears hurt, today it's my throat...but my ears are still crackling. I can feel all the junk that went down my throat during the night trying to be coughed out. Yuck.
I don't care for being sick, so hopefully this is the worst of the school-sicknesses.
We got a letter home from the school saying they'd found a case of Chicken Pox already! Scary.
I don't believe I've had a Dr. diagnose chicken pox, I'd hafta read back through my blogs. We've had D come up with several things that look like it, but I can't remember clearly.
Anyhow, I'm gonna go curl up with my book, am reading my way through The Half Blood Prince in preparation of The Deathly Hallows.
I don't feel as tired as I did yesterday, which is nice, I can definitely do without the exhaustion part. Being sick sucks.

Oh My.
Dude...I paid 45 dollars for my latest prescription for anti-depressants. Seriously, that's an outrageous price.
I'm sick, and all I feel like eating is fruit.
Had the chriopractors appointment today, which was nice. Got the full treatment, lower, middle, and upper back plus my neck.
Went to baby group, came home and had a nap.
Was feeling crappy this morning, but it was worsened by my nap with Hunter this afternoon and now I feel terrible.
Made an appointment with a counselor for tomorrow for myself, Chance's is on Thursday, and Friday is a couple's session. Hopefully some conflicts will be resolved that we haven't been able to do on our own.
I feel saturated in negativity.
Lastnight while in bed I felt something move down my arm (beneath the skin) and stop midway between my elbow and wrist. I lost circulation to my hand (kept going tingly), and when I got up cause it was bothering me, I looked at it and it was a bluey-greeny-greyish colour, much different from my other arm, and you could see my hand was kinda puffy. I panicked thinking it had something to do with my medication, but after research found it wasn't a side effect. Later on, I eventually felt it move up past my shoulder and go away completely, but it was still kinda freaky.
Am gonna hafta set aside some time to make another visit to the Dr.'s and find out what on earth that was all about. Even if it was something major, I shouldn't be able to feel it, right??

Another Monday, underway.
Went to the school today to discuss Friday afternoon's incident on the bus. Darius was telling us how his day went and who he was playing with and such. He mentioned after gentle inquiry that he had been playing with a boy, and had attempted to pull his pants down (I'm assuming because he wanted to embarrass him because we do that at home), and that he had also been "licking tongues" with the other boy. It kinda bothered me, and after thinking about it for a while, went back and questioned him further. I found out that D was the instigator and that the other boy didn't stop him from "licking tongues", but that they both thought it was really funny.
So, my main concerns were that if an adult did this, would they stop an adult? A bit concerning is that neither thought it was inappropriate.
It doesn't bother me that they did it, I understand they were exploring, and they were just being kids. It makes me proud that he's much more affectionate than most other kids I see, and I hope that doesn't stop. On the other hand I don't want him to be that affectionate with just anyone, because that could leave the door open for the wrong people to take advantage.
In any event, I spoke with the teacher, and she said she'd be happy to incorporate "body awareness" (in terms of how far affection should go) at the end of the month with the kids to tie into the rest of that week's curriculum of "How My Body Works" stuff.
I feel better, and am glad the teacher is so approachable with issues like this. It's a very positive thing when you don't have to dread bringing up issues with those who spend the day with your child.

I meant Haha because they spooked Chance when they came in because he happened to be chasing D round and he didn't here them come in until they were all the way in.
Anyhow, today I cleaned the cars out...I vacuumed, and emptied out garbage, and re-arranged and the like. Was nice.
This week I'll be without as vehicle and mom as well. Chance'll be taking my car to work with Art, and mom's insurance is out until Friday. SO, I won't be going to baby group, but I will be going to the chiropractor on Tuesday, which i guess it ok. Friday as well we'll be making banana bread with the baby group people, just don't know where yet, and when I do find out where then I'll be able to arrange for a ride with someone else.
Anyhow, we're getting used to this new school schedule, I get up round 6:30, get showered and make D's breakfast, then wake up D and get him ready for the day. After we brush his teeth and wash his face, we head out the door for the school bus.
Hunter's been napping just before big brother gets home, but this week since I'll be on my own with them, he'll hafta wait until big brother gets home.
Thing's will work better once big brother is away all day as well. This Friday is their first Pro D day, and the boys will be joining me for banana bread I spose.
Nothing major planned for this week yet, but we'll see once it gets underway.

Haha...
Was making popcorn after a nice evening walk to Petro with the boys, and I happened to look over my shoulder and there's mom and Kim!
I thought they weren't due until Sunday, but they decided to pop in last night.
So, the flurry to follow Hunter was real excited about Grandpa, and the cooler he had brought in with him.
Amazingly, both boys were out before midnight.

It didn't occur to me until just now how that last sentence sounded on my previous post...that wasn't a slur against suicide, I was actually talking about divorce.

I so hate myself right now.
I swear to god I'm inches away from committing myself.
Either that or finding that cash I need to end it all.

Oh my...What a long week. First days of school, and new schedule, and new beginning. Tough today I called Dwayne and arranged to pick up my pay, was quite nice. I really enjoyed earning money of my own, was quite enjoyable, I must say.
Today was exhausting, and I don't know why.
Went and picked up my money, then we went to the park. Afterwards we went shopping, in town cause it was closer at the time, and got some drive through on our way home.
We missed some key items...like popcorn, and rice milk, and a few other small things that we couldn't find in the store we're not accustomed to.
Now, since it's a Friday night, we're going to sit back and watch a movie on the computer, and enjoy some family time, if we can wrap our heads around the chaos and find it's kryptonite.
It's crazy how busy and nuts everything gets, and all frazzled on days like today. We really didn't do overly much, it just feels that way, and it's a bit overwhelming.
I'm tired, but I think I'll be ok once the movie starts.
A weekend, god what am I gonna do with D at home all day? LOL

Wow

I had a terrible sleep last night, and feel today as if I've been a punching bag overnight. It's amazing what can happen to the body (when your older at least) when you don't sleep. I must've woken up every hour at least, if not twice each hour. I had a horrible nightmare that was so vivid I couldn't tell if it was real or if I was dreaming when i woke up.
I remember crying myself back to sleep (the better part of 20 minutes). Whatever all the fuss was about to have the dream in the first place must've been forgotten, or unnoticed by me because I remember being happy to finally hit the hay.
Was horrible, and has left a shadow over my day, even though I'm trying not to dwell on it.
Darius took the bus to school all on his own today (I didn't drive down to meet him), and am waiting to pick him up as well.
Got my hair cut yesterday, back to the nice layered look I had it before, not the silly bob.
Did I mention we scored free breakfast yesterday at the wellness center? I don't remember what I blog about, and I usually don't go and read back either. Oh well.
Today we're going to baby group, first time since I dropped off Ni from her visit I believe.
I wanted to do some sewing today, but it's looking more as though if I'm to get it accomplished I need to do my cutting and piecing at night, and sewing during the days while D is at school. I'll get the hang of this yet.
Hunter learned the sign for Hat.

Almost Done

That huge list of stuff I had planned to do whilst Kim and mom were away is almost complete.
Thanks in large part, to having Chance around. He chose to stay home from work and give me a hand in what would have otherwise been an immensely daunting task.
Just a few small tidbits now remain, and I'm happy that every thing's done, because that leaves me with just sewing to accomplish as planned.
I'm a bit concerned at current relationship issues, but won't elaborate here.
New Washer and Dryer work nicely, and both seem to run fairly quietly, which is pleasing.
I have yet to call Dwayne to ask for my pay, which i should do.
I still need to send a few more boxes out to Jill, I've only got three left. Hopefully after that my addiction to helping those in need will dissipate.
Life in general seems to be troubling me, but as I've not made the time to figure out what it is exactly, I shall have to wait and see what becomes of it all.
Tommorow D takes the bus to school all on his own.
I inquired about the P.A.C. and they said I'd be a real help as they've only got 2 consistent P.A.C. members as of now. Hmm...always nice to have the extra motivation. The principal expressed his impressions of me being a very involved parent by coming to the school twice today (once to show D where to go after getting off the bus in the morning, and once after school got out to make sure he knew to get back onto the bus) and inquiring about the P.A.C on the second day of school. :o) He said they could really use new members for school field trips and the school's Hot Lunch program.
Anyhow, back to the daily duties.

Hunter

I haven't blogged about him in a while.
He hit a growth spurt, where he was a bottomless pit and now he can reach about 3-4 inches in on top of the table, reach the doorknobs and get on the couch and chairs without difficulty.
Time to get the knob covers out I spose.
He knows quite a big of sign language compared to his brother at this point, and he picks it up real fast. He knows...please, ball, more, all done, hello/good-bye/nighty nighty (just waving mind you)
his words as of now are...Broom Broom (car/driving), Day Day (Darius, DaDEE (Chance), Mama (me), Tee Tee (Tia).
I'm sure he says more than that, I just can't think of them right now.
He's tall, he's quick, and DAMN is he quiet. I'll be in the kitchen, and set him down in the living room. In the time it takes for me to pick up whatever it is I was doing he'd be down at the bathroom door.
Thankfully I can keep all the doors closed, but as he can reach all the knobs and knows how to work them, it's time to get covers.

Oh man, it took everything I had not to break down in a massive sobbing heap at school with D today. He just made me so proud, he wasn't shy, and he listened so well.
He said he had a good day, and made a new friend.
I posted pics from today on flickr.
What a day. Tommorow he'll catch the bus to school...I'll drop him at the bus stop and wait for him to get on, then drive down and meet him there so he knows where to go and such. I hope I'll look like I know what I'm doing, and my anxiety over a school bus won't show.
Hunter was pretty lonely for the time when big brother wasn't here b4 he went down for his nap.
It's going to be quite a challenge to get us all onto the school-time schedual of getting up and ready early (I've been lzy and not rushing all summer).
He goes half-day until the 17th, then he'll begin full day. They also have a hot lunch program as well, so when they have that arranged I'll sign him up for it as well.
Oh what a long day today is.

Still sick as a dog, but at least it's not showing as much.
Uploaded pics to Flickr.

Oh My God...Stop, Time!

I don't want it to be his first day tomorrow.
I'm not ready...I haven't even washed the new clothes for school, which I'll hafta do tonight. I don't know if I'll need to pack a snack or anything...I'm just not ready.
I was so sick after we got home from Gramma's today...I got glued to the toilet, and I felt like spewing chunks everywhere. not cool. I ended up buying Pepto to function.
Oy...tommorrow's coming too soon!
Emptied both cars out when we got home, and now I have a mountain of stuff to sort out and put away. Again.
Got laundry to do, preparations to make.
Hunter's figured out how to get our Pantry door opened, so I need to go and buy a handle cover for it. darn.
Got two boxes out to Jill on Friday, which was nice, so hopefully I can send out the next two on Friday again after Chance gets paid, provided I'm allowed to. The only reason why I sent these two out was because I earned the money to send them out.
I'm still feeling yucky, but I can manage now that I'm not back and forth.
I've got a bunch of pictures to both print and post on Flickr and Facebook. Got some good shots
of the boys and Chance...still workin on filling picture frames and hanging them around the house.
Got the Washer and Dryer in before we left, just don't know if they're hooked up and ready to go...I'll hafta check so I can do the laundry.
We went to the Drive0In Friday night and seen Transformers and Bourne Ultimatum, and then we left around noon on Saturday for Gramma's. Had fun out there, and though Chance didn't catch any fish, we still managed to have a good time.
Until today, that is...when the cloud of negativity that's been hovering all week really crashed once again. Never really seems to leave, that darned cloud.
I'm tired of talking.

SO Unfair

Why do all the good concerts come round when I can't see them??
Colin James, The "New" Odds, David Usher, and Strength in Numbers is all comin to town.
I know damned well I won't be able to see them.
It's so unfair.