All is said and done

Yup...Christmas has finally passed. Just waiting on New Years now.
Yup, so Gramma and Robert left this morning.
We convinced Martin and Robert to come sledding with us lastnight, even though it was in the dark. Was lots of fun, but, boy do those men have a strange way of having fun. *let's see who can get the biggest bruise from doing the stupidest thing*
Yeah, Darius and I went down together from a mild hill, and Darius just loved it.
Christmas Eve was good, but it took us 2 hours to open all the gifts that were under the tree. Gifts, by the way, were stacked almost as high as the tree itself. Makes sense, we had 10 ppl here for Christmas Eve.
I stuffed and cleaned the turkey for Christmas dinner the next day, and it was almost enough to make me wanna go vegan.
Our room is a mess, and I am conceding that it will be this way for a very long time.
I go back to work tommorow.
Candice bought the household a Gamecube, I got a foot spa and a vehicle vacuum, Chance got an electric razor, toothbrush and Nose/ear hair trimmer.
Went shopping yesterday...yup, s'right, I went out in the Boxing Day masses and lived to tell the tale. I bought slippers, new boots for myself, new boots for Darius, some baby bath stuff, a couple of relaxation cd's for .88 each, and "Someone Like You" on DVD for 7.88. I think I robbed em dry.
Am going to have to plan a trip to Gramma and Ralph's soon because their washer isn't working, and they are currently doing their wash by hand. Their dryer is still working, so I guess that's a plus. In any event, Chance and I had planned on loaning our washer/dryer to them until we can buy them a new/used washer at least.
Gosh I sure do love gramma cooking.

Adventures Adventures

Yes, I like using double words in my titles.
Went on an adventure yesterday to pick up Wayne, I'm rather proud I drove quite well.
He brought over his X-Box and small tv. We hooked both together and had some Halo fun. I'm also proud that I'm pretty good at Halo for only being a newbie. I guess I need to admit here that I enjoy killing people...but I sometimes catch myself trying to nod my head to change the view on my screen. So I plyed with them for a good couple of hours, and had some fun. Then I came and put Darius to sleep, but fell asleep myself in the proccess. Felt kinda bad for stealing gramma and ralph's bed.
I slept in this morning...didn't get up until quarter to 10. I still feel kinda groggy, which I guess is why I knew I shouldn'tve slept in.
Anywho...I need a shower. Sposed to go tot Bill and Lorraines today at 2. Am curious if I should bring anything with me. We'll see.
D's Christmas cards are a hit so far. :o]
He loves his Uncle Wayne.

Tsk Tsk

Well, was an eventful day yesterday. Took a nice long drive...we were in the truck for, roughly 5 hours or so yesterday. How exhausting.
Bachalours...*shakes head*
Nuff said on that subject.
Got here, ordered dinner, ate, then watched pokie play games all night, tried to watch a movie, put my hair in curlers, then went to sleep. Chance was nice and put baby to sleep.
He drove most of the way here, up to the Toll Booth before he asked me to drive because he was too tired. He was so excited about coming down to the coast that he didn't go to sleep at all the night before...sooooo...yeah.
Slept with Darius on a foamy gramma and ralph borrowed from Danielle and Niamh, Gramma and Ralph slept in pokie's bed, pokie and chance slept on the couch.
Wasn't bad, sure was comfy.
I've got a rash on my hand from washing my hands too much at work. Tried counting how many times I washed, and lost count after thirty. S'not so bad today, more itchy than anything, but doesn't sting like it hast the last week.
Went to Value Village earlier cause Chance was embaressed by D's screams whilst I was trying to get him to nap...he was frustrated with me (chance, not D...well, probly both) and came and butted in. So I knew better than to hang around and let everyone see me stew, so I took off. Decided to be constructive and try to find a thrift store, and managed to find my way to a Value Village. I'm very proud of myself...I remembered where it was. Spent about 65 bux. I bought a coffee pot which came with filters, some plates, towels for when we come to visit cause they don't really have a whole lot of extras, and some festive hand/dish towels, a new bathing suit, a D outfit, and a coupla pots. Plus a couple of paperback books, 2 for gramma to read, and one for myself.
Then I headed to the grocery store that was right next to it...bought some coffee, bread, sandwhich meat, and chips.
Phew...try carrying all that in in one load. Ouch.
As I was on my way to the door bumped into gramma and ralph, and they told me D still hadn't gone to sleep. *insert I told you so any time now* So, I buzzed up, and unloaded my treasures. Put everything away, and got D to sleep in about five minutes.
Now...I'm spending more money than I ought to...cause I still wanna take D to NEwton Wave pool tonight...so I guess I had better get hustling on findind a number to call for pool scheduals.
It's 12 fricken degrees outside right now...in the literal middle of December...

Early Christmas

Yay!
I bought us a new-to-us dishwasher today!
Chance, my wonderful handy man (AKA Jack of all trades), is attempting installation. I'm very proud that he's gotten as far as he has. With only research on the internet to aid him.
Mom and D and I are getting ready to go grocery shopping.
*sighs*
Went to a ladies' tea lastnight with Sylvia. Was fun enough, I walked out with a boquet of roses, and a mini christmas tree, decorated by myself and another woman who sat at the same table as I did.
anywho...off we go.

Updates

Probly more than I can type to update.
Darius has the chicken pox. :o[ Nothing too majour, not whole body, for now it's been restricted to his shoulder and tummy. Doesn't seem to bother him too awefully much, but I did hafta call all the places we've been the last week to warn them about me having a child with the chicken pox in their facility. As it happens, it was a very busy week for us.
Am waiting impatiently for two things...the Ladies Tea that Sylvia invited me to on the 3rd, and my paycheque. Am anxious to see if I'm going to get a Christmas bonus, cause mom says that it's not mandatory.
We bought a camper trailor, the kind that goes on the back of a pick-up truck. It' been put up on our lot, and is currently waiting for us to start renovations on it. It's been completely stripped down inside, but has insulation and plastic in it. So, it's completely customizable.
It's cold here today...not any sight of snow yet. Few drops here and there, but that's it.
Was trying to get a lot of uncle's here for Christmas, seeing as gramma's coming, but no one seems able to make the effort. Rather frustrating. I can't even remember the last time we all got together for a happy occasion. I don't even think my Uncle Bill, or Wayne have ever seen mom's place. She's lived here seven years now.
I get so mad sometimes because we're family, and we should want to see each other, we should want to have some sort of a relationship, and I find some members of my family really just don't give a damn. I'll bet they didn't even notice me being gone for four years.
Well, anywho. I called gramma last week, and spent in the area of an hour and a half on the phone with her. She'll be coming for Christmas, but Ralph won't. I was hoping to drag uncle Rob down here with her, but mom says he's no socialite either. *rolls eyes* Pathetic...but whatever turns your cork.
I've put up our Christmas decorations, and the house is in full Christmas swing...am waiting until its december to turn on outdoor christmas lights.
Darius got a haircut yesterday.
He's coming out with new and cute phrases everyday, and a few not so cute ones which I've had to remind family members about...and myself.
Doing laundry today...our room is a mess. Everytime I do laundry, it sits until we can't tell which is clean, and which is dirty. *sigh*
Blah...today is a blah day. Chance, Mom, Kim, and Marty are all home today...and I don't feel like doing anything.

Wish Lists

Darius:
Big Lego Blocks ($10 at Zeller's for a small bag, we don't need a whole lot)
Spiderman Bed Set
Curtains for his room
a Leap Pad or any other learning books
Batteries in AA, AAA, and C
Blank Stereo Cassette Tapes
Fun Non-Toxic Bubble Bath
A Bath Hammock
A Back Seat Organizer for his toys
Monsters Inc
Brother Bear
Bob the Builder Movies
Big Boy Underwear 27lbs and up
Craft Items:
Fun Foam Shapes, Feathers, Sparkles, Pipe Cleaners, clay or plastacine, Felt Markers, Pain Brushes, a Smock, an Easel
Check out the Dollar Stores...I've scouted them and they've got a great selection of crafty things for a great price.
Jysk has a great selection of things, and I spotted a terrific wicker-like basket that had a lid with hinges for about 14.99 or something...would be great to hold all of these crafty things.

Me:
Music: Norah Jones, Tragically Hip, Beatles, Shrek 2, Eagles,
Nice Sweater set...(Tank and Cami)
Ankle Socks
Movie Gift Certificates
Paper-back Romance novels, prefferable like medievil stuff
Scandia Golf Passes
a Hair Dryer Stand (www.hairmade.net)
Cell Phone minutes for a Rogers AT&T Pay As You Go Phone
Make Up Gift Sets
Bath Gift Sets
(I pluralized those two on purpose)
Pack of Combs
Candles, with a couple of candle paltes
Underwear...in a size L
I'm a L and a size 10 pants
DVD's: Anything with Ashley Judd, Kill Bill 1&2, Dirty Dancing, The Life of David Gale, Man on Fire, Jackie Brown, Angelina Jolie movies, the Mr. Bean box set avaiable at Wal Mart, Red Dwarf Box Set...

Chance:
Backroad Map Books volumes 1, 4, 5, &7 (www.backroadmapbooks.com)
Boxers in a size M
Ankle socks
Undershirts (Tank style)
nice t-shirts (without a front pocket) in a size L
an Axe in decent Shape
Bathroom Material: Global Almanacs, Uncle Johns, any other fact books.
Gift Certificates for: Zellers, Movies, Crystal Mountain, XS Cargo, Future Shop
DVD's: Schindler's List, Hackers, Blood Sport, The Breakfast Club, Fast Times at Ridgemont High, any "manly" movies...gangsta movies...

I'll think up more later, guess that's all for now

Well...I don't know

So I finally started making D's costume. He's going to be a shark from Shark's Tale. Finished the body, still have mitts, shoe covers, and a hood to make. Contemplating how it's gonna work making a Shark's head...we'll see.
Week was full of ups and downs. Working on motivation.
Had a good birthday. Went out for dinner with the fam, actually talked to a girl with the name Amber Rose who was having her 19th birthday at Kelly O's. Kinda cool, kinda creepy.
Chance has faithfully put up all outdoor decorations, cept for the ones we hold valuable of course, and I've decorated our front window.
Had a good thanksgiving, got lots of pictures, played lots of games. Had a good 4x4 excursion whilst driving Steven and Pokie home.
Darius just loved Pokie. Snuggled, gabbed, and played with her. Even tried to have her put him to sleep once. He's called her since we took them home, to gab on the phone.
He's been taking a page out of Daddy's book when it comes to telephone chatting. I was talking to a friend one day, and he asked to talk to her, and when I put the phone to his ear, he grabbed it and started wandering around gabbing full tilt. When I told him to say bye bye, he almost hung up the phone before I got it away from him. He's getting very observant.
He's finally hit a majour independant streak. "Let me do it" is a very familiar phrase to hear him say now.
We painted a giant picture the other day. I stripped him down, and covered his body in paint and made various prints on the paper. Was fun. Of course, we took a shower afterwards.
Anywho...

My birthday

Well then...I turn 23 on Monday. Sheesh...I've been a mom for three years since July.
Mind Boggling.
I treated myself to a couple of things for my birthday.
I bought a handheld GPS. Chance's idea, but exciting none-the-less. It's got a rubber casing, it's waterproof, it floats, 2 AA Batteries last 14 hrs, and it's accurate to within 3 meters.
I also went to Value Village yesterday and spent 72 dollas on new clothes for myself. BOught a pair of shoes, 4 shirts, and a vest, plus 2 bras.
I am also hoping to get my hands on 2 tickets to see Bif on the 28th. She's playing at Flashbacks, and I'm rev-ed to go.
Holy schmoley time flies.

In A Pig's Eye

You know, sometimes I wonder what exactly I'm being punished for in my own life. I'm aware of the wrongs I've done, I'm aware that whatever I may or may not have done I could quite possibly be doomed for, for the rest of my life.
Maybe I'm in hell and I just don't know it.
I've prayed over the last month, for peace of mind, for wisdom, for guidance, and for patience.
How is it that I can't feel my own self worth anymore.
I work for a family that just doesn't appreciate what I do. Spend my money like yesterdays news, pretend that I don't factor in to any equation.
Maybe I don't factor in. Maybe, because I've royally fucked up my life at an early age, I don't deserve to be happy. Ever. Everytime I think I'm happy, something goes terribly wrong, and I start to wonder why I'm even alive.
I wonder why I put myself in the situation to begin with, why I let happen the things that happen. I wonder every day what I'm doing so wrong to cause myself so much heartache.
I'm coming to believe that every wrong that's happened to me, I'm derserving.
Maybe it's making me humble, miserable, lousy, useless, worthless. Take your pick. Maybe it's going to make me a better person some day, but after living with such a lousy picture for so long, I'm wondering if someday will ever come. Will someday come when Darius is grown, and makes a good choice, or get married, or graduates? Will a good choice come when I leave Darius with someone more worthy?
There's not a day that goes by these days where I don't wonder if he truly would be better off with someone else who could do more for him in life.
I do a lot for him, in his name, and because of him. That makes me better, marginally. I'm never going to be a happy person, but I can be one sometimes, if only because of him.

Almost 10 Days

Since I last updated. Hm...
Well then. Today I slept in until round 11 or so. I had stayed up late with Chance and played Star Wars Monopoly. I was doing pretty good, but in the end I forfeited because I was tired, and it was gonna take a bit to make a comeback and I didn't feel like sitting longer than the four hours I had already been.
I'm working hard on my budgeting for next month. I've almost got a plan worked out. S'about time.
Mmm...mushroom soup with crackers. Yum.

Wow

I'm surprised that that previous (I mean the DING DING DING post) came through. When I wrote it, it didn't show me it was posted. how nice...the comp WAS working, I just didn't know it.

Halfway Through

September is almost halfway through already...time is flying.
I need to start Chrsitmas shopping man.
An update on the last 2 weeks.
Ou rocmputer hasn't been working right, for a while I couldn't check email or post on my blog because it wouldn't let me. I noticed tonight that it's working fine. IN-teresting.
Lastnight went to see Resident Evil 2. Was awesome, and I screamed and jumped a lot. I took my friends' daughter with me, and had a girls night out. got home round 10:30 or so. Was bored, stayed up and watched some movies, then headed to bed round 12:30.
Didn't work last weekend because I knocked myself out. Literally.
Took Ni and D and Chance to Spacewalkers cause Ni was leaving the next day, and we were playing tag, and as I ran full tilt to try and catch Ni, I didn't duck low enough to get into a tunnel, and hit the top of my head on the edge of the darned thing. Heard all the boned in my neck pop, then hit the mat behind me, and blacked out for a few moments. Came to holding my head, and almost cursing before I remembered where I was. Had a hard time moving my head, and my back and shoulders hurt the next day, so i called in sick. I got her machine (it WAS 6:30 in the am). I left a message and curled up with D to finish Sesame Street.
She called me back at 8 and asked why I hadn't called her to tell her I wouldn't be in. I said I did, then she says oh yeah, I remember the phone ringing. Then she asks, why didn't you leave a message, I said I did, and I said to call me back so I could explain what happened. She said there was no message.
You would think that I would clue in...the last 2 times I've called in to say I couldn't make it, she never got the message from her machine. I should've called back again.
In any event, because I was a no show that day, she called someone else in for the rest of the weekend. So, I didn't work last weekend, or even until Wednesday where I only worked a half day. I'm working again this weekend, all better now.
Had an exciting week I spose. Time at home to heal up, and clean up since mom and Kimmie have been gone on vacation again.
Been hard pressed to keep those dishes clean...am pondering getting that dishwasher fixed as a X-mas gift.
Haven't been doing much really, trying to make life livable, and bearable. Keeping my focus on D.
He's such a joy. He says "excuse me" now, and am working to get him potty trained.
The daycare has expanded their Toddler program, and have made a new room which Darius gets to be in. Same person/persons taking care of him, except not as crowded. If it ever was.
He's happy with daycare again, and when I went to pick him up on Thursday, I spent a half an hour trying to coax him to leave. We were playing when I asked him for a kiss. He gave me my smoochie, and promptly said "Bye-bye" and turned around walked away, and continued playing.
Went grocery shopping this last week, and spent 98 dollars on just snacks and the like for Darius. Holy schmoley.
Got my bills paid, and am saving movey for gas this month. Doing pretty good budgeting myself, and am rather proud of it. I've gotten a lot accomplished over this last week and a half...

DING DING DING...And The Winner Is-

Me.
I did myself a doozy while playing with Niamh in Planet Spacewalkers on Friday night.
I ran, full-long into a tunnel/tube thingy and hit right on the top of my head, knocking myself out.
I was only out for a couple of seconds, but still. I remember hearing ever bone in my neck crack, and then hitting the mat behind me, where I woke up clutching my head with tears in my eyes.
Yes...tis true, I won the fight! By a pile driver!
Whatever...
Saturday was Niamh's last day, and seeing as Sylvia was nice and payed me 2 days in advance, I decided to take her out with D and get some play time in at Spacewalkers. After I knocked myself out, I decided to only play with D in the toddler pits. About 20 minutes later I called it as time to go home. My neck was aching, and my head really hurt. All day yesterday I felt like I had a cone for a head, felt like it came to a point at the top of the bump on my head.
After we got rid of all the guys...yes, all of them. Chance, Art and Marty drove Niamh home in the truck, and Kimmie was asleep. Mom and I took D to a toonie matinee of Shrek 2, and then we went swimming at Johnson Bently. We were there for an hour and a half and when I went to get him out, he didn't want to leave. Usually we're only there for about 45 minutes, max before we both get tired. He had lots of fun.
We were trying to make it a fun day since mom would be gone for a week before he'd see her again.
Last time mom took her vacation, he clung to her and refused to let her go when she got back.
I'm rather happy to have Niamh gone now. Though she's very polite and well mannered, almost, she still has a lot of growing up to do. She farts at will, and aims it at times, and surprisingly, she puts Chance to shame. She doesn't turn the lights off behind herself, or pick up after herself unless she told to, and gets a new cup everytime she wants a glass of water. Pet peeves only because I had to start telling her to do these things. For the whole first week it was difficult to tell her to be quiet when running down the hall to the bathroom, and even in the living room. Definately trying on the soul. I won't even mention what a picky eater she is.
That above all drives me nuts, when someone buys you something to eat, or makes you something, whether you like it or not, you eat it out of respect. This is a Gramma teaching. She obviously didn't learn it.
So, because I knocked myself out, yesterday I woke up and had a hard time turning my head without a nice twinge in my neck and shoulders, I called in and told Sylvia that I wasn't able to make it. She put me off for the weekend. I can't even remember the last time that I had a long weekend off. So I don't hafta go to work now until next Friday.
Now that mom and Kimmie are gone, it's time to bust down on house cleaning once again. Laundry, sweepeing and washiong floors, vacuuming, wiping down cupboards, and was thinking about moving the fridge and stove out. Asked mom a while back when the last time was that she cleaned underneath her appliances, and she said she couldn't remember. I assume this means that she has never done so in the 7 years or so that she's lived here. No biggie.
So...a full week off...let's see how productive I can really be.

September Blues

Well, here we are into the first day of September. *sighs*
Where does the time go?
This year has been so bad I can hardly remember why it's gone so fast.
One thing is for sure, I'm definately going to have some wild stories to tell after 2004 is all over and done with.
Yesterday was a bad day. Again.
Since the arrival of Niahm, Chance has once again slipped into the "I want" mode. In which he doesn't do anything except what he wants to do, and leaves me and D to pick up the slack. Now, I'm no Frued, but I know as much to tell anyone who has put up with behavior like this that they don't need it.
After many a conversations with Chance, repeated attempts to just have the man I married become the man I know he can be, I've just finally decided to call it quits.
Yes, I've said this before, and maybe I don't really mean it this time.
I haven't worn my wedding bands in over a month and a half. I was quite amazed to see that my tan line was gone the other day.
My problem is that I'm too good of a person, and am fully willing to give a person another chance. A trait that I attribute to my mother.
Well, the problem with this is, that eventually you've given so many chance's for reform, that there's nothing left of you. You've spent so long trying to make someone more lovable in your own eyes, that you don't realize that you've changed yourself to conform, instead of them growing some to catch up with you.
Now, Chance and I have never really been on the same plane to begin with. He from well-to-do parents, and me from a life of responsibility. Combine both and you'd think that they would mesh quite well. Well, we do...up to a point.
There comes a time in every person's life where they think to themselves; "Self, I wonder if there's isn't room for improvement upon the person you are". The point where your personality shows a glimmer of the person you will be in the future.
What brought this on you say?
Well, like I said, Chance's "I want" mode, and a brilliant occurence yesterday morning as I tried to sleep in.
I was told that I was "Pathetic" because I wanted to sleep while Chance drove mom to work, and he had to take baby with him in order to do so. On top of this, I had a nice over-night-soppy diaper rubbed in my face while I was still half asleep.
All because I wanted to sleep in, and he didn't want to take the baby with him.
My reaction? I threw a pillow at him. It hit him in the face.
His reaction to that? He told me that if I ever hit him with anything else ever again he would take Darius and leave, and that all he had to do was tell the authorities that I was beating him.
Now, I mulled over this for the most of the day, and it occured to me that what he's doing to keep us together is blackmail.
The threat being that I may never see my son again if we break up. That's more than enough for any loving mother out there to deal with.
I personally would not want a nasty ending to my relationship, lord only knows that I've my fill for my lifetime, but what I also would not want is to have Darius growing up knowing one side of his family.
I grew up with only one set of grandparents. I thought that was normal. It blew my mind when I found out I was the one who led an abmornal life. I missed out, and I really wouldn't want that for Darius.
My point in posting this on here?
Well, this is my personal blog. Blog being a "Weblog", a place where I can post any personal thoughts, feelings, or just regular stuff that runs through my head.
Up until now this thought hasn't really bothered me. Until I read a response to one of my latest posts. Yes, this means you Rhonda. I understand that you don't want to read things like "that" but like I said, this is my blog, and I can put on it what I will. If you don't want to hear or read about it, this is up to you...because you are a mom after all. Reading my blog is a better way to get to know me because I would normally, never have these kind of conversations with you otherwise. A different side of me comes out when I know I'm not gonna get blasted in the face from my mother when I say, "She really frustrated me today". Cause we all know that when I say something like that in person, it never comes out that way. This is the real me, once I've had time to think about what I want to say...you're all better off, I must admit, when you read what I've been thinking once I've thought about how to say it.
Probly goes the same the world over.

Camping

We went to our land lastnight.
Brought Marty and Niamh with us. Had some fun, but was a tad uncomfy on that rocky ground. We brought the tent, and had it set up, and had our big honkin tarp over it, and we didn't bring near enough blankets for padding, but what we had did the job nicely.
I guess Ni didn't have the best of times today though.
I had to go to work today, so I ended up takin off at about 6:15-6:25 this mornin from the plot, and driving all the way into town, and when I was done I had to drive all the was back to get everyone.
*sigh*
When we got back, D had just fallen asleep...he had a pretty good nap. 2 1/2 hours. He was pooped. :o]
Got D inside, and said..."Let's go for a swim!"
Brought Ni, and Chance up to the pool, and went for a swim. When I first jumped in, DAMN was it COLD!!
wow, was almost tempted to just grab my towel, and run for home just to warm up. But, true to Ni's word, it was warmer after I started moving in it. We spent about an hour up there swimming, diving and having fun, before I made them come home cause I'm hungry.
Still haven't eaten. Took a shower though...that's gotta count for something.

*sighs*

I guess I'm bound to get a day like this every week.
I was making dinner lastnight, and my friend Deb phoned me. She's left town today, and wanted me to go and help her pack, and get in one last visit.
Well, when I went over there, after leaving Chance to go play cards with the guys, and dropping mom off at the Casino. We left Marty and Niamh at home to watch D. I was under the impression that Chance was going to be home earlier than I was. When I got there, Deb was rather under the weather and had asked me to stay the night with her. I said ok, then went to tell Chance my plans at the office.
I got there, and was a little surprised to see that our old neighbour Jaquiline(sp?) was there. I was on the verge of asking what the hell she was doing there (because to my knowledge, Chance was the only one who knew her), when I decided it would be better to keep my mouth shut. Chance explained a few moments later, that she had met Shane (his friend) at a softball game a while ago. Relief, but I only suffered a moment of panic.
So, he says it's all good, and I got the impression that he'd be home early, so that Marty and Ni were't left stranded with baby. Went and had mom drive me back to Deb's cause I had her car. And visited for about another hour before we headed to bed. we fell asleep and I wok eup to the phone ringing that someone was at the front buzzer of her apartment.
Chance showed up at 1am. Drunk. So, guess who had to get out of bed and drive him home?
That's right...twice this week my plans have been interrupted by him. I'm not at all happy about that because I never bother him when he's with HIS friends. It's only fair.
So, we get home, and D is awake and watching Monsters Inc. on the TV, and Ni is asleep next to him. Marty's cheesed off that we're so late, and D won't go back to sleep.
N/m the fact that every move anyone makes wakes D up. GGGGGGGGGRRRRRRR.
So, i'm working on getting D to sleep, and Chance has other things on his mind. *sigh* Bad timing.
D didn't go back to sleep until almost 3am.
I had told Deb that I'd be by no later than 6:30. She phoned me at 6:40 to see if i was still coming...woke me up, thank goodness. SO, I got dressed, washed my face, brushed my teeth, and left. No one was awake when I left.
Got there, had a cup of coffee and a cigarette, and got to cleanin up what mess we had made the night before, and got her bags and boxes in order. Got her all loaded up, and left her with a big hug, some words of comfort, and a sad goodbye. Wish I had gotten to know her better, but am glad that I've made another wonderful friend whom I can write to.
So, I came home and D was awake, with his dirty diaper, sitting on the floor crying. Scooped him up, changed his bum, got him some warmed up pancakes from yesterday, got him dressed and got him out the door. Chance hadn't done anything since they woke up.
So, didn't get a whole lotta sleep lastnight.
Went to the bank, to get the rest of the daycare money, and dropped D off at daycare. Paid the lady, and reminded myself to get his schedual for next month.
Came home...and here I am.
I'm f*in hungry.
A little frustrated cause Chance is still in bed. I was so hoping that he'd have a hangover, just so I could jump on the bed and make him sick.
Now I hafta motivate him to clean the house with me, and get things moving round here.

I hafta Wonder

Is Kimmie ever happy?
All he ever seems to do is mope, and whine about everything, and everyone.
Wonder what he's like when nobody's around.
D had a 30 minute nap today, all because ppl kept seeing fit to waltz into the room and wake us both up. How annoying.
So, it was a rather trying day, what with everyone here all day today.
I cooked dinner, and did some dishes.
It occured to me the other day that I remember why I prefer to do chores at other ppl's houses, it's because you get more gratitude and appreciation at other ppl's homes, than in your own.
Is that weird to think?
What a spoiled baby D was today...he had 3 sippy's on the go today
Tea with honey, boiled-but-cooled-down-water, and Pedialyte.

What a NIght

Well, spent my day at work as usual.
Had to phone home before I left Sylvia's, to make sure that chance hadn't phoned, cause the phoned had rang a few times during the day. He says that someone had called from GG's, and they said that they needed my SIN for my last cheque. *rolls eyes* I was so sure that Shelly was gonna try and fuck me outta my last pay...but, when I got there, just gave her my SIN and left. Who gives a fuck why she needed it, just gimme my money and I'll leave you alone.
She docked me 20 bux cause I had her pay for my gas a while back, but I don't care.
Decided to stop at my friend Cathy's house on my way home, and low-and-behold, she needed help with some cleaning. I owed her a couple of favours, so I stayed and helped her clean a bit. She paid me 20 bux for 2 hours. Was all good. She offered me dinner and a beer, so I accepted.
I stayed out, ate dinner there and had a couple of beers with her, when all of a sudden Chance phones me and says that Crystal (Art's drug addict daughter) needs a ride home.
So, I was a little ticked off that my night of visiting and having a good time (I figured it was my night since Chance has had three nights this week) was interrupted. So i went to the meeting place and bumped into an old friend. Visited with him while waiting fro Crystal, and sheesh man...I waited for a half an hour.
What a joke. What I would give for the ability to just shake some sense into her, and Art both. Art needs to be a real fucking father and put some responsibility to his own kids, and for Crystal to take some responsibility in her own life, and not let her childhood fuck up what she's got left.
The future is malleable, and yu can do whatever you want with it, it just depends on if you have the will and the motivation.

happy toes

The ring toe is drunk.

Another Grind

Well, today was okay I spose...back to work, and had to let mom drop-off, and pick-up D from daycare. They had just gotten up when I was heading home from work.
Stupid Shelly, I called to see if my cheque was ready b4 I left from Sylvia's, and there was no answer. So I drove up there, and sure enough, my cheque wasn't in the mailbox. So I drove home, and then called, and the payroll lady(Darlene), bites my head off, then hangs up on me. I'm like...whoa, bitch what'd I ever do to you?
So, now I'm gonna hafta go up there again tommorow just for 88 bux.
We're getting the carpets cleaned Monday mornin. Makin the guys fork out 20 bux to help with the payment, and that way, mom'll have hardly any need to contribute to it. Yay for my connections. :o]
I'm rather frustrated that three nights this week Chance has gone out, and I haven't gone out since before we left for our trip.
*sighs*

My World's On Fire

Did some baking today. Slept with D for an hour and a half. Been having trouble waking myself up all day long.
I made some muffins, and a loaf of quick bread for breakfast tommorow, and tossed together some muffin mix, and stored it away.
I do plan on making more muffins, so D can have a treat at Daycare tommorow. Am waiting on the bankcard that Ronnie sent me, hopefully it'll come tommorow in the mail.
Will be paying some of Daycare tommorow. :o] Get to see what he's like and such, hopefully bring up a few things with them, reminders and like.
Round 12:30 Chance phoned me and asked me to go and pick him up, so I went cause I had to drop off my invoice at Shelly's to ensure that I got my last pay. Should be ready on Friday, and will be phoning to check.
I plan on doing some visiting with a few friends tommorow, while D is at daycare, and maybe some more baking, we'll see how I feel.
Chance got paid from Art, and he says, what should I do with my hard earned money. I replied how about paying me back the 60 fee that I had to pay for your softball?
On second thought, it just occured to me that he has a 138 dollar speeding ticket that he could pay too, or his 70 dollar doctor bill. Hmm...
D shared an apple with me today, was sweet.

Now My Fingers Do Too!

It's a little blaring to look at, but now my fingers have Happy Faces on them too. Hopefully it'll last longer than normal nail polish, cause I did put 4 layers of yellow, with the one layer of black for eyes and mouths. All that work had better last a couple of days at least. I only messed up on my ring finger on my right hand, amazingly.
Will be baking tommorow...
You can always tell when I'm at home, because I blog more than usual.

My Toes Make Me Happy :oD

Well, I finally got round to painting those happy faces on my toes. :o]
They make me smile.
Not only are they cute, but they even look happy now!
Horay for happy toes!

Ahhh

Well, a day of accomplishent.
I deposited my cheque, got some bread, and dropped some stuff off at storage. Put our clean laundry away, and now am finding that I can't go too far from a bathroom. Ate a sandwhich with suasage, and garlic. I also had a super salty(Thanks to chance) egg sandwhich lastnight. Ugh, now I can't go two feet from a washroom without feeling the urge.
*sighs*
I'm waiting for Mary to get home before I go swimming, it's yucky out. Reminds me of Ohio weather, hot and ugly muggy.

Wow

Well, I've recieved me cheque back from BC Hydro(I thought it was coming from Terasen, but I guess I got them confused when I heard them say they were sending ME a cheque instead of the other way around), and I've paid my bills. I got my advance from Sylvia yesterday, so, after all is said and done, I've got 400 dollars left in the bank to get me through the rest of the month, not including what Ronnie's sending, but her money is covering groceries and Daycare from D.
He had his first day of "school" yesterday. Chance picked me up from work and told me that they said he's by far, the most well behaved child in the class. He was polite and said please and thank you, and he was the only one who played in the sprinkler and with the hose, and he didn't hit anyone, and they actually understood him when he talked. *beams proudly* Yup, that's MY son.
I'm enjoying my day off so far, finished my book, am getting ready to take a shower, and hopefully, if D sleeps long enough, I'll get to paint those happyfaces on my toenails that I've been meaning to do for the last week.
Gotta have something to snicker at.
Did the dishes when I got up this mornin, and fed D, we watched Shrek, and had an easy morning. Was nice...I almost forgot how easy this was.

Bitch

Hola!
Half-way through the day, guess who shows up?
Grrrr...I'm a week early, and it's really pissed me off that I haven't been able to find anything to allow me to go swimming.
I went to storage, and roasted my ass off. Didn't find everything that I was looking for, but found most of it.
Full house again.
I'm a lil irritated that nothing I asked Chance to do today, was done. I asked him to do the laundry, including mom's bedding, and there was one load of darks sitting in the washer, wet.
*sighs*
I'm in hell-bent-bitch-mode.

Hmmm...

Ponderable...I've got two left swim shoes. I wonder if mom has the two right swim shoes.

My First...

Grey hair...I know, for a fact one will pop up SOMEwhere after yesterday.
So, I was outside on the phone with Steven lastnight, trying to find out when Mom and Kimmie would be home when Chance called me, so I hung up, and ran in the house.
I guess I let D slip by me inside with a stick, and he and Chance were running around with it, when D tripped with it in his hand. He fell on it of course, and it cut just under his eye. When I came in, and went to pick him up, he was mid scream, and holding his breath. I scooped him up, and he still hadn't taken a breath. I swooped him over to the freezer so I could get a better look, and he still hadn't taken a breath.
So, I told Chance to get the phone, and I started trying to get D to breath. Chance phoned 911, and then rushed over, and before I could get right up (I had already blew at his mouth), he blew into D's mouth, and he passed out.
He comes to a couple of seconds later, and just starts wailing, and I take him to the couch, and try and calm him down, and stop the bleeding.
Thankfully, it didn't bleed too much, and the people on 911 sent us an ambulance.
Ambulance ppl get here, and by this time, he had calmed down enough to sit calmly and watch Shrek. He sees them come in, and immediately says "Baby, Boo-Boo"
So, they check him out, and he's all good. They cleaned it up, and put some special medi-strips on to hold it together, and start the paperwork.
One of the guys went out to the Ambulance, because I guess they give kids teddy bears when they pay them a visit. Well, they had run out, so he comes in with a glove, and blows it up, then proceeds to draw a face and such on it for him.
I got a good chuckle outta this because he was a big guy, tall and broad. It struck me as funny for him to be so, thoughtful as to draw a face, with hair on the fingers.
Well, after all the excitement, I really couldn't bring myself to let go of him, so I sent Chance to go get dinner from Subway, and we ate, then got baby into the bath, cause we had just gotten back from the pool when all this happened, and got him to bed.
Thankfully, it should heal within the next couple of days, but I'm certainly gonna make sure I start putting some ointment on it to help with the scarring, I wouldn't want to mar his beautiful face. :o]

Trip

Well...*sigh*
We went to Little Fort for a night or so. :o]
I spent Sunday after work organizing the place cause it looked awful with all our crap crammed in here. It actually looks nice again, and the re-organizing I did did wonders. Still not done yet, but we shall see what I can get done here within the next couple of days.
Woke up Monday and decided that I wanted to hit up the Waterslides in Kamloops, so that's what we had planned.
I also wanted to go and visit Crystal (Art's daughter) who happens to be in the hospital again. Apparently she's been shooting up (the track marks were rather evident), and the drug impurities produced a blockage/build-up in her kidney's, and so she's in the hospital recovering. The Doc's warned her that if she did any more drugs, that they could kill her. Wonder if she'll shape up or not.
So, anywho, Monday we drove out to Kamloops, and we left round 11:30 or so and decided to take Westside road. Man, I was reading after I was sure D had fallen asleep, and I felt sick and couldn't figure out why. Duh...I was getting a touch of motion sickness, and I couldn't read while we were moving for fear of vomiting. As it was I had to have Chance pull over once so I could get some fresh air.
So, when we got to Kamloops, and I figured out their stupid hospital, we found out that their visiting hours were from 3-8, and we got there round 2. So, we had an ahour to kill, and we decided to go for a walk at Riverside park. When we got there, we discovered that they had a children's waterpark. We let D play for about 45 min's, and then headed back to the hospital.
We only visited for about a half hour, and then we went to the Waterslides, cause by the time we got there it was about quarter after 4. We got a special "twilight" rate though, so it was cool. I was rather surprised to find that they were rather puny. Two kiddie slides, four regular slides, and two speed slides that were closed down. So, one of the regular slides was "sitting up only", so we took D down that one a couple of times. He had fun. I was rather cheesed off because we had stopped to grab a snack, and I ordered a bunch of stuff, which they didn't give me a tray. When I carried the stuff to the table, I dropped my hot dog and the fuckers charged me for it. Then I found out that they had trays, and the dumb bitch behind the counter didn't even offer me one, which I assumed was something that should've been done.
After we left the waterslides, we went back through town in search for Curtis, whom we had found out, got a place with a few friends. They didn't have a phone, so I had to make a couple of phone calls, and get proper directions to his place. Well, with all the trouble we went through, the lil bugger wasn't home. *sigh*
So, we continued to Gramma's house...and when we got there, Gramma was the only one there. Everyone had gone fishin. Everyone being Jo-Ann, her friend Crystal, Jr., Ralph, and Travis.
So, we visited a bit, then got D off to bed. When everyone got back, they started a fire...and I'm so ashamed, they used gasoline. Well, even with gasoline, they couldn't get it started...so I showed em how it was done. So, we had a bonfire two nights in a row. The Tuesday we went to Dunn Lake and that was real fun. Crystal clear lake, and it was actually fairly warm too.
I got swimmers' itch :( Bad. :o(
Today I let Chance get up with baby, and I slept in. When I got up, Gramma had made pancakes for breakfast, and I had a couple with her homemade syrup and homemade goose berry syrup. MMM...
We had Sweet 'N' Sour Pork ribs for dinner lastnight...god, I love Gramma's cookin.
Darius bit me hard lastnight cause he was tired, and hungry, and I told him no, he couldn't take Travis' toys outside. Chomped so hard on my shoulder that he actually broke the skin. Rather surprised at that.
So, while we were out there, I got a message that my job site with GG was cancelled for Thrusday. I personally think she's just sending someone new there. Whatever, I don't hafta work until Friday.
*sighs*
Time to get a few errands done...life goes on.

And Life Goes On

Well, I gave my two weeks' notice for Ginger's Girls.
I'm sick of cleaning, and of holding a job that's not going to take me anywhere's, anytime soon. Maybe I'll go back, if I need to.
Shelly actually asked me if I was leaving my regular clients too. Duh?
I also got a $1.00 raise from Sylvia, I believe that's 3 raises in the last 6 months. damn I'm good. :o) I'm now making 15 dollars an hour with her.
I splurged these past two days. Had a chunk of change in my wallet just beggin to be spent. I've also decided to take a vacation. We're headed to Golden, while mom and Kimmie are headed to Van to visit with everyone. I'm giving myself the ultimate treatment tonight because I bought some lil packets from Wal-Mart...Face Mask, Foot Bath, Leg Wrap, Chest Wrap, Hair Treatment...and I'm going to...SHAVE! *gasp*
I haven't shaved since...oh, mebbe 3 or 4 weeks ago. I'm a hairy mo-fo.
I guess, all in all, I'm not doing too bad. Still trying to get my body to get out of stress-mode. Slowly but surely, and one day at a time.

Frustration

I had some good timing today, and I'm rather rpoud of that.
I am continually feeling cheaper by the minute when Chance is concerned.
He doesn't seem to want to talk about relationship issues, or any other issues without snapping my head off.
Another thing that frustrates me is my business...I will share it when I feel it's the right time to share it. I swear I don't know how I'm gonna make it living in a house with this many people, and place to call my own, or privacy.
I've always been a private person...always. I hate having MY personal issues out in the open for everyone to chat about. Whether they are or not.

And The Games Begin

Let the mind games begin...or so I thought yesterday.
I'm trying real hard to keep my composure, and keep my sanity. I've come to discover that no matter what it is I try I am getting the distinct impression that I'm hooped. Until he wants something of course.

Nothing In Particular

I was pondering today what I should say to Chance...or where I want us to go from here.
Why is it that I always feel like I'm the one who's in control.
I've been blog hopping and such, and trying to keep myself busy, and happy. That's a tough one, staying happy.
I got home from work today, and peeked in on D with mom, who were back in mom's room watching a movie. When I poked my head in, he jumped up and cried "Mommy!" He came bouncing over on the bed and jumped into my arms, and told me to go snuggle with him.
Art and Marty were rather cheesed with Chance yesterday when he got home, and proceeded to brag about what I good time he had. They snubbed him because they were pissed that they had to help me move, and they worked both days too.
I'm hungry...my stomach still hasn't recovered fully, but that's ok, it's on it's way I spose.

Aching

Well, yesterday is over and done with. I got myself right toasty lastnight, and I spent some time praying to the porcelain god afterwards. Woke up a coupla times cause Chance had tried phoning me.
I was apost to go to work today, but I didn't even wake up the first time until 11. Sylvia must be a lil upset with me...but I really just don't care.
Chance phoned around noon, I guess he was on a cell phone that had bad connection or whatever...kept breaking up, but once I could hear and speak clearly I let him have half of what I wanted to say to him.
I'm so sore today. I pulled a muscle in my arm bad. My fingers are slightly swollen, and they keep going Numb. And don't even think about gripping something. It hurts just to straighten them out.
I've got a kink in my neck, aching back, my arms are both workin up to be useless today, and my feet hurt.
I didn't get absolutely everything out lastnight, but the new tenant understood because I was doing it by myself, and when I went back for a last minute thing, he told me to just leave it and go get some sleep. He was very kind in that regard, once he understood what I was going through. So, I've left the vase, the mirror from my dresser, some garbage, and BBQ, and outside toys for D there which i'm going to hafta pick uup today sometime.
I feel like I could sleep for a week, but Darius sees me little enough that I'd stay awake just to give him a hug.
I don't know what's in my future, but I'm makin damn sure I count down the hours in a day, I wouldn't make it otherwise.
I am continually amazing myself with my strength.

b nnnnnnnnnnvfde680oiktewbhpokbh hdw251vokn 3hgreds
Says Darius...

Just 2 more hours...

All I hafta do is last two more hours before this fucking day is OVER. Do you hear me time?? I said O-V-E-R...and fuck you if you think differently.
Yes, I'm in a bad mood, mainly because I had to go to work today (even, thankfully, if it WAS a half day), and then came home to moving...still. I made all of two trips before Art and Marty got home, then I moved Kievs' stuff to his grandparents, and chauffered him.
THEN, when Art and Marty were ready (and when I had finished scarfing two slices of pizza), we went back to my place, and loaded up big stuff. That first trip with them was pretty funny, as they were in a fairly good mood.
I also made a trip over to storage this morning. I had packed until 12:30 this morning, and then came back to moms and crashed. I woke up at quarter to 6 this morning, and showered and went to drop off what I had packed up. I hafta say, I'm rather proud of myself. I packed up Darius' dressers, and my sewing table, and umpteen boxes. All on my own.
I have the bumps, scrapes, and pulled muscles to prove it.
Let's see...moving Battle wounds...I hit my head on the corner of the breaker box-box, then I gashed my knee when I was loading the dressers, I caught a sewing table leg to the neck, wolloped in the head from my fan, pinched my leg good with my sewing table, papercuts, tape scrapes, stubbed toes, blistered toes, scraped my leg with glass, and the trollies at the storage.
I was stupid and did all this with sandals on.
There was a bit of respite on my first trip after work. the trollies are basically just a slab of wood with four wheels, and a rope tied to the front end, and only the front two wheel turn. Kinda akward at first, but was quite fun once I got the hang of swingin it round in the paded elevator while I was riding on it. I kept thinking "I'm queen of the world! Hi Ho Orangey"
Was fun.
Damn it was friggin hot in that stupid storage. We had a unit on the third floor right next to the elevator, so it's easy to get to. It's crammed tot he hilt, and I'm not going to enjoy the hunt for my clothes, cause I know it's gonna be a pain in the ass.
Well, I'm feeling rather stressed, as I said. mainly because my husband basically abandoned me to do this shit on my own.
Met the new tenant tonight, and I was SO embaressed because I had to explain to him that the reason why there was so much stuff left was because my husband decided to go play in a softball tournament instead of helping me move, and basically left with only the minimal amount he could get away with.
His response? "What kind of a man leaves his wife to move stuff like this?" "I'm sorry, that just didn't give me a very good impression of Chance"
I felt like shit because all they did was look me up and down, and were rather snooty with me.
Gee, I'm sorry my fucked up life has gotten in your way...let me make it as easy as possible for you...I'm packing everything onto the back porch, and will keep coming back until I get it all, that way, at least it's not in your way IN the house.
I was so fucking mad when they left that I just started cramming and throwing everything into my truck...I felt like I wanted to cry, but that pissed me off more.
Why SHOULD I cry? I'm frustrated, yes, and I'm angry, and I have every right to be. Crying won't do me any good...I just hafta wait 2 more hours until this goddamned day is over. Then I can just forget about it...until my muscles decide differently of course.
My hair is greay, my face is oily, I stink, my feet and nails and fingers are dirty. I worked my fucking ass off today.
Chance called the house at some point in time, and left a message saying "I'm just calling you to see how you're doing. I'm beginning to worry that I shouldn'tve left, I shouldn'tve left so much stuff for you to do."
No shit sherlock.
Everyone I've told about him leaving for Revelstoke has said that that's about the stupidest thing they've ever heard of...and the majority of them said he didn't deserve me.
I thought we had taken a couple of steps to kind of work things out, but this has given me a whole different light on everything.

Moving...JeSUS

OMG...I spent hours lastnight packing, and packing, and more packing. How on earth did I accumulate so much shite?
Chance went to Revelstoke for the weekend. Didn't fill the gas tank before he left, and only managed to get some furniture out before he did so. So, when I got home from dropping him off/work yesterday, I was welcomed by the whole house, not packed up yet. So, my night lastnight consisted of throwing things into boxes and Garbage bags. I packed until about midnight, and when I stepped out for a smoke before heading to moms, Eric popped over, and we actually had a good conversation.
*sighs* Why do I put this crap on myself. I'm stuck with today to finish packing and moving to storage, and cleaning what I can b4 new tenants arrive.
I swear, I was in denial.

What a Doozy

Is there like, a rule that each month (and only in a bad year) you hafta have one real whopper of a day?
Went to work, and work seriously blew the big one.  I messed up my site, and couldn't make it to the next site, and had a mental meltdown...
Chance says "He's finished...he doesn't want to do our marriage anymore"
Yeah, I had a lot to do with it, but it rather took me by surprise when he said it.  So, my day was f*d because my mind was wondering how this came about.
Isn't that funny, I've been telling him he can walk out anytime he wants if he can't deal with what I'm trying to do, and when he says he is, it surprises me.
Well, I can honestly say I really don't know which way I'd like these turn of events to take.  I know the pros and cons  of both.
The problem is Darius...not neccesarily HIM, but what could happen to him.
I was good though, and rather than bottling it up and keeping it to myself, I used my "network" and chatted it out to get some sort of clairity.  I talked to mom, Marty, Mom-In-Law...and a rather special someone who shall remain unknownst to everyone but me.  :o}
My thoughts on today are:
I'm stronger than I really give myself credit for, and I know I'm capable of anything I set my mind to...except making enough money for chance.
I know I'm not going to live my life, being someone else's problem, or living my life knowing that I'm never going to be enough.
I know my son deserves to see us happy.
I know I hafta keep working...

What I don't know:
Do I want to be with him for the rest of my life, or were these last 3 years a total waste, asides from Darius?
How long will it take me to find some place to live?
Home much longer do I hafta put up with this s*t?
How would I face another failed marriage?
WTF would I do if I had Darius on my own, and live by myself?

Guess I'd hafta get a dog...?
My head hurts, and I've almost smoked a whole pack of cigarettes today alone.
Guess what it all comes down to is, can I really see myself with Chance down the road?

Chance's Stupidity

Why me?
I let Chance go to a softball party lastnight with his teammates, and then again today because they were having some games and such...
He came home with a wonderful story of his teammates shaving their jersey numbers into the back of their heads.
They pursuaded him to do it as well, but not before someone else stole his number and gave him a new one.
The number you ask??
69
I am absolutely mortified to admit that.
Now, after he shaved his head the first time ( yes he shaved it bald once already this year...and when he did so I told him he looked like a penis with handles, and he swore he wouldn't cut his hair until December), we're gonna hafta shave it again, at least partially.

Brag Time

So, with this cleaning job of mine...been working there for...I think almost two months now.
I had mom and Chance help me clean a place once...and I was SO hoping they would appreciate (not that they SHOULD or anything) what I do for an 8 hour time period in a day.  I could be classified as a labourer man.
Since starting with "Ginger's Girls" (what a mouthful to say to a ne client..."Hi, I'm amber, I'm with Ginger's Girls Cleaning Company"...say THAT five times fast), I've since been recognized as their most experienced cleaner.  I'm fairly proud of that, but it occured to me, that I haven't even been cleaning for a full year.  And I'M the most experiences one they have...?  Makes me wonder if I've learned that much, or if she just hasn't got the woman-power.
Anywho...I was all happy mid June because I thought I had negotiated myself a 1.50/hr raise so I could start training girls, but as it turned out, the cheap wench will only pay me that wage "when" I train.  F***  I should've known.
In any event, I've made myself a few good friends since starting with them, and am happy with this.  Though most of my co-workers are at least twice my age, we've become rather close, and I'd like to think that they're going to stay that way.
They call me "The Cleaning Guru" and are exstatic whenever I show on site, because they claim it's like having two extra girls.  I personally don't see myself as being fast, but I do pride myself on my thouroness. (sp?)

Back to Blogging

Getting ready to move...and thought I should start up again since I haven't had a blog in a while.
Though I have no mind blowing benders to post today...I can happily say I'm making it on my own.
Things are rather rough, but I am figuring things out as I go, so I figure there's bound to be mistakes along the way.
Anywho...trying to find a place to live has proved a tough task.  Hasta be safe enough for Darius, and nice enough for Chance.  *rolls eyes*  Yup, have yet to find something we all like.  Guess it'll come in it's own due time...or so I hope.
Not much for font selection here...hmmm...