Sunday, August 29, 2004


We went to our land lastnight.
Brought Marty and Niamh with us. Had some fun, but was a tad uncomfy on that rocky ground. We brought the tent, and had it set up, and had our big honkin tarp over it, and we didn't bring near enough blankets for padding, but what we had did the job nicely.
I guess Ni didn't have the best of times today though.
I had to go to work today, so I ended up takin off at about 6:15-6:25 this mornin from the plot, and driving all the way into town, and when I was done I had to drive all the was back to get everyone.
When we got back, D had just fallen asleep...he had a pretty good nap. 2 1/2 hours. He was pooped. :o]
Got D inside, and said..."Let's go for a swim!"
Brought Ni, and Chance up to the pool, and went for a swim. When I first jumped in, DAMN was it COLD!!
wow, was almost tempted to just grab my towel, and run for home just to warm up. But, true to Ni's word, it was warmer after I started moving in it. We spent about an hour up there swimming, diving and having fun, before I made them come home cause I'm hungry.
Still haven't eaten. Took a shower though...that's gotta count for something.

Thursday, August 26, 2004


I guess I'm bound to get a day like this every week.
I was making dinner lastnight, and my friend Deb phoned me. She's left town today, and wanted me to go and help her pack, and get in one last visit.
Well, when I went over there, after leaving Chance to go play cards with the guys, and dropping mom off at the Casino. We left Marty and Niamh at home to watch D. I was under the impression that Chance was going to be home earlier than I was. When I got there, Deb was rather under the weather and had asked me to stay the night with her. I said ok, then went to tell Chance my plans at the office.
I got there, and was a little surprised to see that our old neighbour Jaquiline(sp?) was there. I was on the verge of asking what the hell she was doing there (because to my knowledge, Chance was the only one who knew her), when I decided it would be better to keep my mouth shut. Chance explained a few moments later, that she had met Shane (his friend) at a softball game a while ago. Relief, but I only suffered a moment of panic.
So, he says it's all good, and I got the impression that he'd be home early, so that Marty and Ni were't left stranded with baby. Went and had mom drive me back to Deb's cause I had her car. And visited for about another hour before we headed to bed. we fell asleep and I wok eup to the phone ringing that someone was at the front buzzer of her apartment.
Chance showed up at 1am. Drunk. So, guess who had to get out of bed and drive him home?
That's right...twice this week my plans have been interrupted by him. I'm not at all happy about that because I never bother him when he's with HIS friends. It's only fair.
So, we get home, and D is awake and watching Monsters Inc. on the TV, and Ni is asleep next to him. Marty's cheesed off that we're so late, and D won't go back to sleep.
N/m the fact that every move anyone makes wakes D up. GGGGGGGGGRRRRRRR.
So, i'm working on getting D to sleep, and Chance has other things on his mind. *sigh* Bad timing.
D didn't go back to sleep until almost 3am.
I had told Deb that I'd be by no later than 6:30. She phoned me at 6:40 to see if i was still coming...woke me up, thank goodness. SO, I got dressed, washed my face, brushed my teeth, and left. No one was awake when I left.
Got there, had a cup of coffee and a cigarette, and got to cleanin up what mess we had made the night before, and got her bags and boxes in order. Got her all loaded up, and left her with a big hug, some words of comfort, and a sad goodbye. Wish I had gotten to know her better, but am glad that I've made another wonderful friend whom I can write to.
So, I came home and D was awake, with his dirty diaper, sitting on the floor crying. Scooped him up, changed his bum, got him some warmed up pancakes from yesterday, got him dressed and got him out the door. Chance hadn't done anything since they woke up.
So, didn't get a whole lotta sleep lastnight.
Went to the bank, to get the rest of the daycare money, and dropped D off at daycare. Paid the lady, and reminded myself to get his schedual for next month.
Came home...and here I am.
I'm f*in hungry.
A little frustrated cause Chance is still in bed. I was so hoping that he'd have a hangover, just so I could jump on the bed and make him sick.
Now I hafta motivate him to clean the house with me, and get things moving round here.

Tuesday, August 24, 2004

I hafta Wonder

Is Kimmie ever happy?
All he ever seems to do is mope, and whine about everything, and everyone.
Wonder what he's like when nobody's around.
D had a 30 minute nap today, all because ppl kept seeing fit to waltz into the room and wake us both up. How annoying.
So, it was a rather trying day, what with everyone here all day today.
I cooked dinner, and did some dishes.
It occured to me the other day that I remember why I prefer to do chores at other ppl's houses, it's because you get more gratitude and appreciation at other ppl's homes, than in your own.
Is that weird to think?
What a spoiled baby D was today...he had 3 sippy's on the go today
Tea with honey, boiled-but-cooled-down-water, and Pedialyte.

Saturday, August 21, 2004

What a NIght

Well, spent my day at work as usual.
Had to phone home before I left Sylvia's, to make sure that chance hadn't phoned, cause the phoned had rang a few times during the day. He says that someone had called from GG's, and they said that they needed my SIN for my last cheque. *rolls eyes* I was so sure that Shelly was gonna try and fuck me outta my last pay...but, when I got there, just gave her my SIN and left. Who gives a fuck why she needed it, just gimme my money and I'll leave you alone.
She docked me 20 bux cause I had her pay for my gas a while back, but I don't care.
Decided to stop at my friend Cathy's house on my way home, and low-and-behold, she needed help with some cleaning. I owed her a couple of favours, so I stayed and helped her clean a bit. She paid me 20 bux for 2 hours. Was all good. She offered me dinner and a beer, so I accepted.
I stayed out, ate dinner there and had a couple of beers with her, when all of a sudden Chance phones me and says that Crystal (Art's drug addict daughter) needs a ride home.
So, I was a little ticked off that my night of visiting and having a good time (I figured it was my night since Chance has had three nights this week) was interrupted. So i went to the meeting place and bumped into an old friend. Visited with him while waiting fro Crystal, and sheesh man...I waited for a half an hour.
What a joke. What I would give for the ability to just shake some sense into her, and Art both. Art needs to be a real fucking father and put some responsibility to his own kids, and for Crystal to take some responsibility in her own life, and not let her childhood fuck up what she's got left.
The future is malleable, and yu can do whatever you want with it, it just depends on if you have the will and the motivation.

Friday, August 20, 2004

happy toes

The ring toe is drunk.

happy toes

Another Grind

Well, today was okay I spose...back to work, and had to let mom drop-off, and pick-up D from daycare. They had just gotten up when I was heading home from work.
Stupid Shelly, I called to see if my cheque was ready b4 I left from Sylvia's, and there was no answer. So I drove up there, and sure enough, my cheque wasn't in the mailbox. So I drove home, and then called, and the payroll lady(Darlene), bites my head off, then hangs up on me. I'm like...whoa, bitch what'd I ever do to you?
So, now I'm gonna hafta go up there again tommorow just for 88 bux.
We're getting the carpets cleaned Monday mornin. Makin the guys fork out 20 bux to help with the payment, and that way, mom'll have hardly any need to contribute to it. Yay for my connections. :o]
I'm rather frustrated that three nights this week Chance has gone out, and I haven't gone out since before we left for our trip.

Wednesday, August 18, 2004

My World's On Fire

Did some baking today. Slept with D for an hour and a half. Been having trouble waking myself up all day long.
I made some muffins, and a loaf of quick bread for breakfast tommorow, and tossed together some muffin mix, and stored it away.
I do plan on making more muffins, so D can have a treat at Daycare tommorow. Am waiting on the bankcard that Ronnie sent me, hopefully it'll come tommorow in the mail.
Will be paying some of Daycare tommorow. :o] Get to see what he's like and such, hopefully bring up a few things with them, reminders and like.
Round 12:30 Chance phoned me and asked me to go and pick him up, so I went cause I had to drop off my invoice at Shelly's to ensure that I got my last pay. Should be ready on Friday, and will be phoning to check.
I plan on doing some visiting with a few friends tommorow, while D is at daycare, and maybe some more baking, we'll see how I feel.
Chance got paid from Art, and he says, what should I do with my hard earned money. I replied how about paying me back the 60 fee that I had to pay for your softball?
On second thought, it just occured to me that he has a 138 dollar speeding ticket that he could pay too, or his 70 dollar doctor bill. Hmm...
D shared an apple with me today, was sweet.

Tuesday, August 17, 2004

Now My Fingers Do Too!

It's a little blaring to look at, but now my fingers have Happy Faces on them too. Hopefully it'll last longer than normal nail polish, cause I did put 4 layers of yellow, with the one layer of black for eyes and mouths. All that work had better last a couple of days at least. I only messed up on my ring finger on my right hand, amazingly.
Will be baking tommorow...
You can always tell when I'm at home, because I blog more than usual.

My Toes Make Me Happy :oD

Well, I finally got round to painting those happy faces on my toes. :o]
They make me smile.
Not only are they cute, but they even look happy now!
Horay for happy toes!


Well, a day of accomplishent.
I deposited my cheque, got some bread, and dropped some stuff off at storage. Put our clean laundry away, and now am finding that I can't go too far from a bathroom. Ate a sandwhich with suasage, and garlic. I also had a super salty(Thanks to chance) egg sandwhich lastnight. Ugh, now I can't go two feet from a washroom without feeling the urge.
I'm waiting for Mary to get home before I go swimming, it's yucky out. Reminds me of Ohio weather, hot and ugly muggy.


Well, I've recieved me cheque back from BC Hydro(I thought it was coming from Terasen, but I guess I got them confused when I heard them say they were sending ME a cheque instead of the other way around), and I've paid my bills. I got my advance from Sylvia yesterday, so, after all is said and done, I've got 400 dollars left in the bank to get me through the rest of the month, not including what Ronnie's sending, but her money is covering groceries and Daycare from D.
He had his first day of "school" yesterday. Chance picked me up from work and told me that they said he's by far, the most well behaved child in the class. He was polite and said please and thank you, and he was the only one who played in the sprinkler and with the hose, and he didn't hit anyone, and they actually understood him when he talked. *beams proudly* Yup, that's MY son.
I'm enjoying my day off so far, finished my book, am getting ready to take a shower, and hopefully, if D sleeps long enough, I'll get to paint those happyfaces on my toenails that I've been meaning to do for the last week.
Gotta have something to snicker at.
Did the dishes when I got up this mornin, and fed D, we watched Shrek, and had an easy morning. Was nice...I almost forgot how easy this was.

Saturday, August 14, 2004


Half-way through the day, guess who shows up?
Grrrr...I'm a week early, and it's really pissed me off that I haven't been able to find anything to allow me to go swimming.
I went to storage, and roasted my ass off. Didn't find everything that I was looking for, but found most of it.
Full house again.
I'm a lil irritated that nothing I asked Chance to do today, was done. I asked him to do the laundry, including mom's bedding, and there was one load of darks sitting in the washer, wet.
I'm in hell-bent-bitch-mode.

Friday, August 13, 2004


Ponderable...I've got two left swim shoes. I wonder if mom has the two right swim shoes.

My First...

Grey hair...I know, for a fact one will pop up SOMEwhere after yesterday.
So, I was outside on the phone with Steven lastnight, trying to find out when Mom and Kimmie would be home when Chance called me, so I hung up, and ran in the house.
I guess I let D slip by me inside with a stick, and he and Chance were running around with it, when D tripped with it in his hand. He fell on it of course, and it cut just under his eye. When I came in, and went to pick him up, he was mid scream, and holding his breath. I scooped him up, and he still hadn't taken a breath. I swooped him over to the freezer so I could get a better look, and he still hadn't taken a breath.
So, I told Chance to get the phone, and I started trying to get D to breath. Chance phoned 911, and then rushed over, and before I could get right up (I had already blew at his mouth), he blew into D's mouth, and he passed out.
He comes to a couple of seconds later, and just starts wailing, and I take him to the couch, and try and calm him down, and stop the bleeding.
Thankfully, it didn't bleed too much, and the people on 911 sent us an ambulance.
Ambulance ppl get here, and by this time, he had calmed down enough to sit calmly and watch Shrek. He sees them come in, and immediately says "Baby, Boo-Boo"
So, they check him out, and he's all good. They cleaned it up, and put some special medi-strips on to hold it together, and start the paperwork.
One of the guys went out to the Ambulance, because I guess they give kids teddy bears when they pay them a visit. Well, they had run out, so he comes in with a glove, and blows it up, then proceeds to draw a face and such on it for him.
I got a good chuckle outta this because he was a big guy, tall and broad. It struck me as funny for him to be so, thoughtful as to draw a face, with hair on the fingers.
Well, after all the excitement, I really couldn't bring myself to let go of him, so I sent Chance to go get dinner from Subway, and we ate, then got baby into the bath, cause we had just gotten back from the pool when all this happened, and got him to bed.
Thankfully, it should heal within the next couple of days, but I'm certainly gonna make sure I start putting some ointment on it to help with the scarring, I wouldn't want to mar his beautiful face. :o]

Wednesday, August 11, 2004


We went to Little Fort for a night or so. :o]
I spent Sunday after work organizing the place cause it looked awful with all our crap crammed in here. It actually looks nice again, and the re-organizing I did did wonders. Still not done yet, but we shall see what I can get done here within the next couple of days.
Woke up Monday and decided that I wanted to hit up the Waterslides in Kamloops, so that's what we had planned.
I also wanted to go and visit Crystal (Art's daughter) who happens to be in the hospital again. Apparently she's been shooting up (the track marks were rather evident), and the drug impurities produced a blockage/build-up in her kidney's, and so she's in the hospital recovering. The Doc's warned her that if she did any more drugs, that they could kill her. Wonder if she'll shape up or not.
So, anywho, Monday we drove out to Kamloops, and we left round 11:30 or so and decided to take Westside road. Man, I was reading after I was sure D had fallen asleep, and I felt sick and couldn't figure out why. Duh...I was getting a touch of motion sickness, and I couldn't read while we were moving for fear of vomiting. As it was I had to have Chance pull over once so I could get some fresh air.
So, when we got to Kamloops, and I figured out their stupid hospital, we found out that their visiting hours were from 3-8, and we got there round 2. So, we had an ahour to kill, and we decided to go for a walk at Riverside park. When we got there, we discovered that they had a children's waterpark. We let D play for about 45 min's, and then headed back to the hospital.
We only visited for about a half hour, and then we went to the Waterslides, cause by the time we got there it was about quarter after 4. We got a special "twilight" rate though, so it was cool. I was rather surprised to find that they were rather puny. Two kiddie slides, four regular slides, and two speed slides that were closed down. So, one of the regular slides was "sitting up only", so we took D down that one a couple of times. He had fun. I was rather cheesed off because we had stopped to grab a snack, and I ordered a bunch of stuff, which they didn't give me a tray. When I carried the stuff to the table, I dropped my hot dog and the fuckers charged me for it. Then I found out that they had trays, and the dumb bitch behind the counter didn't even offer me one, which I assumed was something that should've been done.
After we left the waterslides, we went back through town in search for Curtis, whom we had found out, got a place with a few friends. They didn't have a phone, so I had to make a couple of phone calls, and get proper directions to his place. Well, with all the trouble we went through, the lil bugger wasn't home. *sigh*
So, we continued to Gramma's house...and when we got there, Gramma was the only one there. Everyone had gone fishin. Everyone being Jo-Ann, her friend Crystal, Jr., Ralph, and Travis.
So, we visited a bit, then got D off to bed. When everyone got back, they started a fire...and I'm so ashamed, they used gasoline. Well, even with gasoline, they couldn't get it I showed em how it was done. So, we had a bonfire two nights in a row. The Tuesday we went to Dunn Lake and that was real fun. Crystal clear lake, and it was actually fairly warm too.
I got swimmers' itch :( Bad. :o(
Today I let Chance get up with baby, and I slept in. When I got up, Gramma had made pancakes for breakfast, and I had a couple with her homemade syrup and homemade goose berry syrup. MMM...
We had Sweet 'N' Sour Pork ribs for dinner lastnight...god, I love Gramma's cookin.
Darius bit me hard lastnight cause he was tired, and hungry, and I told him no, he couldn't take Travis' toys outside. Chomped so hard on my shoulder that he actually broke the skin. Rather surprised at that.
So, while we were out there, I got a message that my job site with GG was cancelled for Thrusday. I personally think she's just sending someone new there. Whatever, I don't hafta work until Friday.
Time to get a few errands goes on.

Saturday, August 07, 2004

And Life Goes On

Well, I gave my two weeks' notice for Ginger's Girls.
I'm sick of cleaning, and of holding a job that's not going to take me anywhere's, anytime soon. Maybe I'll go back, if I need to.
Shelly actually asked me if I was leaving my regular clients too. Duh?
I also got a $1.00 raise from Sylvia, I believe that's 3 raises in the last 6 months. damn I'm good. :o) I'm now making 15 dollars an hour with her.
I splurged these past two days. Had a chunk of change in my wallet just beggin to be spent. I've also decided to take a vacation. We're headed to Golden, while mom and Kimmie are headed to Van to visit with everyone. I'm giving myself the ultimate treatment tonight because I bought some lil packets from Wal-Mart...Face Mask, Foot Bath, Leg Wrap, Chest Wrap, Hair Treatment...and I'm going to...SHAVE! *gasp*
I haven't shaved since...oh, mebbe 3 or 4 weeks ago. I'm a hairy mo-fo.
I guess, all in all, I'm not doing too bad. Still trying to get my body to get out of stress-mode. Slowly but surely, and one day at a time.

Tuesday, August 03, 2004


I had some good timing today, and I'm rather rpoud of that.
I am continually feeling cheaper by the minute when Chance is concerned.
He doesn't seem to want to talk about relationship issues, or any other issues without snapping my head off.
Another thing that frustrates me is my business...I will share it when I feel it's the right time to share it. I swear I don't know how I'm gonna make it living in a house with this many people, and place to call my own, or privacy.
I've always been a private person...always. I hate having MY personal issues out in the open for everyone to chat about. Whether they are or not.

And The Games Begin

Let the mind games begin...or so I thought yesterday.
I'm trying real hard to keep my composure, and keep my sanity. I've come to discover that no matter what it is I try I am getting the distinct impression that I'm hooped. Until he wants something of course.

Monday, August 02, 2004

Nothing In Particular

I was pondering today what I should say to Chance...or where I want us to go from here.
Why is it that I always feel like I'm the one who's in control.
I've been blog hopping and such, and trying to keep myself busy, and happy. That's a tough one, staying happy.
I got home from work today, and peeked in on D with mom, who were back in mom's room watching a movie. When I poked my head in, he jumped up and cried "Mommy!" He came bouncing over on the bed and jumped into my arms, and told me to go snuggle with him.
Art and Marty were rather cheesed with Chance yesterday when he got home, and proceeded to brag about what I good time he had. They snubbed him because they were pissed that they had to help me move, and they worked both days too.
I'm stomach still hasn't recovered fully, but that's ok, it's on it's way I spose.

Sunday, August 01, 2004


Well, yesterday is over and done with. I got myself right toasty lastnight, and I spent some time praying to the porcelain god afterwards. Woke up a coupla times cause Chance had tried phoning me.
I was apost to go to work today, but I didn't even wake up the first time until 11. Sylvia must be a lil upset with me...but I really just don't care.
Chance phoned around noon, I guess he was on a cell phone that had bad connection or whatever...kept breaking up, but once I could hear and speak clearly I let him have half of what I wanted to say to him.
I'm so sore today. I pulled a muscle in my arm bad. My fingers are slightly swollen, and they keep going Numb. And don't even think about gripping something. It hurts just to straighten them out.
I've got a kink in my neck, aching back, my arms are both workin up to be useless today, and my feet hurt.
I didn't get absolutely everything out lastnight, but the new tenant understood because I was doing it by myself, and when I went back for a last minute thing, he told me to just leave it and go get some sleep. He was very kind in that regard, once he understood what I was going through. So, I've left the vase, the mirror from my dresser, some garbage, and BBQ, and outside toys for D there which i'm going to hafta pick uup today sometime.
I feel like I could sleep for a week, but Darius sees me little enough that I'd stay awake just to give him a hug.
I don't know what's in my future, but I'm makin damn sure I count down the hours in a day, I wouldn't make it otherwise.
I am continually amazing myself with my strength.

b nnnnnnnnnnvfde680oiktewbhpokbh hdw251vokn 3hgreds
Says Darius...