Introspection

I'm bothered tonight.
I find myself at home, feeling overwhelming feelings of lonliness. Maybe even self-pity.
I've been thinking a lot about moving, and I've come to a sad realization. I'm leaving my home country, once again, and I'm leaving it, once again, without a soul to miss me.
Strictly speaking the poeple who will miss me most is my family, and truthfully those are who matter most, but I'm finding it disappointing that I'm leaving without friends to miss me pr write to.
I know I place myself in this position. I don't make friends unless they're willing to put forth the effort that I do into friendships, even if it is for a short peiod of time. The friends that I have had in my time here have been such because I needed something from them, and once I had gained it, I moved on. Yes, that means I am no longer friends with those people.
At each point in my life I have had a friend whom at one specific point in time, knows what I'm going through and feeling. Everybody needs a friend like that.
My friend choices may not have agreed with everyone, some people may not have understood them, but I needed them then.
I am friendless now because I didn't have enough time to find that person after the last blew on by.
My husband tells me I'm too picky, and set my standards too high. If I were talking to him about this I'd be "self-victemizing".
Point being, I put myself in this position, and truth of it is, I'm jealous that my husband will have more people miss him, than I ever will. Not including family.
My family means everything to me, but even my own husband doesn't know all of the experiences that I've had in my lifetime, and even if I were to open myself up to my family like that, it'd be hard to look them in the eye for the rest of my life and still have self respect.
Truth of the matter is as well, that my husband and I just don't have the relationship that I could do that in either. yes, it is up to me to change that, but I'm not yet that courageous, and don't see that happening anytime soon. I put myself in a position where I find it tough to admit to the past...that one that didn't include him.
I've never enjoyed just going for drinks with my husband, because rather than I, he'd rather play a video game at the bar, or play pool. I'm more interested in dancing and having a heart-to-heart. There are so many differences, that it's easy to shove those in the way of the actual reason why I'm not letting myself free of those circumstances.
Truth of the matter, I'm all by myself again, and it's incredibly depressing that I have no one to say goodbye or hello to.

I'm So Disappointed

in myself.

On another note...
I can't believe Chris Sligh got voted off.

Having Issues

Obviously I did something I shouldn'tve.
I removed a load of programs lastnight to help clear my desktop. obviously I removed something I shouldnt've because now my homepage comes up as a virus detector asking me to d/l it. So, I d/l-ed Spybot this morning and am working on getting the computer cleaned off.
I've got a feeling out computer needs a major cleaning off.

It's a beautiful day out today.
I took the boys outside for a while this morning.
Put Hunter in the stroller, got D dressed.
We played in the yard (digged for bugs) and put some yarn in our trees (so birds can collect for nests). We played out front, then I needed a potty break. Came back in for a quick minute, and spied the bubbles!
I forgot just how much fun bubbles are. I was pretty light-headed when we stopped though.
poor Hunterwas tired and grumpy. And big brother fell and got a scrape cause he was madly chasing down all the bubbles to pop them, which was making little brother giggle like a wild-man. Which in turn made me giggle wildly.
We came in, and I fed Hunter. Then Darius and I made a cake (which is still in the oven) together, and for a fun twist we put frozen peaches on the bottom of it, so it should be yummy when it's done.
Then I let Darius play in the sink while I made some soup for Nana (who's not feeling well).
I took Darius to the Doctor's yesterday fter Chance said there was blood in his stool as well. *sighs*
in any event, we have to get stool samples and give them to the lab. Then we have to wait one week to figure out what he's got, and get back to the Doctor's for the results and disagnosis. Oh boy.
Until then, it's rice milk (I'm happy I found it at Shoppers Drug Mart for only 1.99 each name brand, 25 cents less than extra's No Name) and no fast food, and loads of veggies.
I found an interesting article in this month's Parenting magazine about teaching your children about money and the like. 83% of parents who took their online poll, don't give their kids an allowance. I'm glad Darius doesn't have a lot of the common misconceptions that they've listed in this article, but there is also a lot lacking that I could stand to work on.
Reading this magazine and other like it also make me realize just how smart I've raised both my sons to be.
Hunter was looking for a toy the other day, and though it's usual for his age, it's supposed to take a lot of practise before they realize their toy is hiding under the blanket you put on it. mom did this, and he automatically pulled the blanket away so he could find his toy.
Darius has understood what money is for for a long time, and even in the past 6 months has been able to budget his own money when he has it at the store. he understand what needs to happen when he doesn't have enough for something, that something either needs to be put back to afford it, or that he just can't get it.Since we've never had a creadit card during his coherent years, he doesn't look to our plastic as a magic money card. I honestly don't know what he thinks of my bank card. But he does know that when I tell him we don't have enough money, he shouldn't ask again.
Room for thought in any event.

Ok.
So, Friday night I decided to bake another cake cause I thought the one I had was too small. So, at around 9pm I started making another one. Finished it, mixed the icing colours, and got moving. Cut the cake, iced it, and went to bed cause by that time it was after 1am.
I'm a little peeved at the amount of help I recieved this year. Maybe it's just hormones cause ToM but it was severely lacking this year.
Hunter wouldn't go to sleep for me after that so it was well after 2am before I got to sleep (I'm guessing closer to 3, but I can't be sure cause I have no clock in my room). Woke up and rolled outta bed at 7:30 and started getting things ready again.
Had a horrible epiphany the evening before. We were planning on bringing pizza, ($5 each at Little Ceasars) when Chance casually mentions that they don't open until noon. Damnit. We were too far out into the Mission to be able to make a quick run and get back before the kids got out of the tour, so that was now out of the question.
So, I kicked Chance up to the store to pick up sandwhich makings cause that was all I could think of making on such short notice. He came back with sub buns, sandwhich meat, cheese, and lettuce. So...I made them all into sandwhiches, and got them packed up and ready to go. By then we had the cooler, packed up the sanwhiches, fruit bowls (Wish I had gotten a picture of that), veggie platter, and cake all ready to go with the gifts, and all other little incidentals. Gave everyone clear directions and off we went. Had to make a quick stop to grab drinks as we hadn't had any yet, and went on our way.
Arrived and unloaded everything, then made sure they knew we were there, and waited to make sure everyone was there before we headed inside.
It was tropically warm (moist and warm) inside, and they took our jackets and sweaters for us.
The guy introduced himself as Doug Illman, and began his presentation (which included a LOT of name dropping) and then quickly moved to hopping into the pens with the crocs. They were wonderful.
My favorite part was when he made the crocs smile by scratching them right on top of their heads and asking "Who's your daddy".
They had some wonderful exhibits. They also had a cat pen at the back where two wildcats were. Cloepatra (African Cheetah) and Carlos (African Cougar).
Overall it was a wonderful experience.
They had a twill canopy outside with three walls up, so we had wind blackage and shelter.
The picnic table was kinda wonky, but good enough. Not as many as I would've liked showed up, but that was good cause we only pain 102 dollars for everyone! As opposed to the 250 I budgeted for. Will and Kristy were even kind enough to pay me for theirs.
After we got everything loaded back up and headed for home, we got here and D went down for a nap, then Hunter and I went down for a nap. That was before 3pm. We woke up at 6pm for dinnertime. Dinner was yummy, and we all sat down to watch Flushed Away (D's gift from nana).
Afterwards we all kicked back while D played with his new toys.
Harry eventually made an appearance.
I let D stay up extra late cause it was a special day and we had company.
Overall it wasn't horrible, but rather enjoyable I'd say.
Pictures posted at flickr.

I'm tired, and my legs are cramping. :oP
Well, this morning managed to get the melons all balled, put away, the veggie tray ready, then got one cake done and decided it was too small, so am now making another one. Made the icing. Gotta colour it, and get it ready to go on the cakes as soon as the last one is done cooling.
I managed to get Hunter down for at least three naps (this day just seems to go on forever) today. Took the boys outside to enjoy the milder temperatures today. I pushed Hunter in the stroller (nap #2 I htink) and D rode his bike. He wanted to go for a picnic, so we went up to the pool where their outdoor patio is covered and has picnic tables out yearround. Was nice. Darius even stayed on his bike to roll down the hill, but I had to promise not to let go of his handlebars. that must've been a sight...a woman steering a stroller with one hand in front, and one behind her holding on to a bike that a little boy was riding.
Anyhow, made dinner in that time as well. tossed in a coupla roasts with some veggies and it was done by the time we got back from our walk. Rachel Ray only has about 30 minutes on me. I can pop out a good, nutritious dinner in one hour but that's cause I cut everything and such from scratch.
Am now waiting to pop out the cake before I tackle my gift for D.
I'm making him a fleece blanket with purple and cream. The pieces have been floating around forever and we've been using them on their own. So I thought I'd just sew them together and give it as a gift. Chance went out and bought a bunch of Spongebob stuff.
So far I've gotten a confirmed 5 kids coming, and 7 have cancelled, and 3 are pending. It will be a decent party in any event. Harry and his girlfriend will be making an appearance tommorow at some point as well.
Still need to tidy this place up and vacuum.
Hunter got everything and anything in his mouth today. I just didn't get enough sleep lastnight to get it together and vacuum and double check everything like I normally do.
I feel like a shit today. Just an all around "I'm a bum" feeling that's been sticking around for the last bit and I'm finding it difficult to shake it off.

Busy Yet Again!
I kicked Chance and Darius out this morning. Made the cake (overcooked again!), and started balling the melons. Got halfway through the melons before Hunter just wouldn't be ignored again.
So, I took a break, and the boys arrived back home.
Am trying to kick out a schedual for us. Hoping to get Hunter on a regular feeding schedual for solid foods. Hoping to aim for the three times a day of jarred food, and a snack in between twice a day...depending on.
Since Darius is turning 5 am planning to implement an allowance and a chore list for him. Crossing my fingers.
Making my breakfast right now.
Was surprised Hunter woke up at 7:30 this morning.

Whew.
busy busy Busy.
Ok, so, I was bummed out this morning, but I figured I wasn't doing any good just moping about the house, and so I got off my butt and went to Baby Group with the boys. So I arrived (45 minutes late) ate some lunch, sat down and fed Hunter and Darius, then did some reading tot he other kids. Cleaned up, and went on my way.
Went to Zellers, where I bought the napkins, plates, and cups (40 dollars later) plus some baby foods that they had there. I was disappointed to find that the Gerber foods I had had my eyes on were for kids 1 year or older (contained either egg or milk). Oh well. So I just decided to buy jars of the 2nd foods. They have a bit of texture, but not much.
Went on to the gas station, then over to Extra. hunter had fallen asleep at the gas station, so I waited a few minutes while Darius ate a snack before heading inside. Thankfully I always carry enough extra stuff in the backseat to make a comfy bed in the cart, and he was blissfully asleep whilst I shopped. It was tricky getting him inside though cause i had to carry him, after getting D into the cart, until we got to smoother ground so the bumps didn't wake him up.
Bought the fruits and veggies I had wanted, plus some rice milk and eggs and the like fo rD and his cake.
Now, I need to find a suitable picture of Spongebob to copy for the cake.
I got a call from one of D's friends' from the old pre-school who won't be able to make it. Unfortunate, but they said they'd like to arrange some playdates as their son hasn't stopped asking about D.
Got home and invited the girls accross the street who can come provided we can drive them. Good enough for me.
So far have had more cancellations than confirmations of kids coming. Am hoping for a decent turn out.
Unloaded the groceries, and am just now getting ready to cook dinner. Oh boy oh boy.
Chance is going out with co-workers tonight. I'd like to go, but will restrain myself.

I'm planning on sending cards out tommorow (payday). Ronnie called and told me about a woman in a home there who's turning 104 on Darius' birthday. Her card will be late, but at least she'll get it. :oP
I'm also sending a package to the BC Children's Hospital's Oncology Ward, and the BC Cancer Center's two locations in Vancouver and Kelowna.
Mom asked me the other night how many cards I have sent out in the past year since I began, and I couldn't give a definate answer, but I'm estimating somewhere in the 500 region and growing.

Well...we're counting down.
This weekend's forecast is slated with rain. Good thing I booked their canopy.
Chance passed his anxiety to me today. Urg.
I'm feeling stressed that I haven't recieved a call from any of the parents about the party. I realized that I forgot to include in the invitation that it's outside (asides from the tour with the reptiles) and seeing as I don't know what or if they have anything for wind blockage or whatever, I'm worried girls could arrive frilly and under-dressed, and the kids could get chilled.
The added pressure of Chance's anxiety and frustation over not getting everything out before spring break is making me feel rather deflated.
On the bright side, I'm working on my menu for the party. Though everything will need coolers.
I figure I'm going to carve up a couple of melons, and fill them with fun little melon balls (watermelong, cantaloupe, honeydew, grapes and blueberries), and as usual I'll serve some veggies (peppers, baby carrots, and cucumber). chance wants to serve pizzza cause it's easiest, and as all I can really think of that's transportable is sandwhiches, I guess pizza will do.
I still need to go get the plates and napkins and cups. I need to figure out what to bring to drink, and how I'm going to plan my cake. Darius, of course, wants a Spongebob cake so I need to figure out a design. Whew.
S'alot of planning...why do I always leave it until the last minute.

Yup...Typical, just friggin typical.
I'm sick again. Tummy problems, fever, chills, exhaustion.
Honest to goodness, I thought I had had my fill of sickness.
Totally NOT fair.
I guess I'm grateful that it didn't have to happen at D's birthday party. I still haven't gotten any calls back on that too, what possesses parents not to RSVP an invitation for their children?! It's so frustrating that people don't have that common sense of courtesy these days.

This is HILARIOUS...mainly because it's true

HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN:
Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks.
Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown.
If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
Look at your womanly physique in the mirror --make mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc.
Get in the shower.
Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone.
Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins.
Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean.
Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced.
Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red.
Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash.
Rinse conditioner off hair.
Shave armpits and legs.
Turn off shower.
Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower.
Spray mold spots with Tilex.
Get out of shower.
Dry with towel the size of a small country.
Wrap hair in super absorbent towel.
Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head.
If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.

HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN:
Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile.
Walk naked to the bathroom.
If you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the woo-woo sound.
Look at your manly physique in the mirror.
Admire the size of your wiener and scratch your butt.
Get in the shower.
Wash your face.
Wash your armpits.
Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off.
Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower.
Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area.
Wash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap.
Wash your hair.
Make a Shampoo Mohawk.
Pee.
Rinse off and get out of shower.
Partially dry off.
Fail to notice the water on floor because curtain was hanging out of tub the whole time.
Admire wiener size in mirror again.
Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on.
Return to bedroom with towel around waist.
If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her and make the woo-woo sound again.
Throw wet towel on bed.

If there is anyone among you who did not laugh at the truth behind this, there is something SO very wrong with you. Have a great day! Oh, and....woo woo!!!

Nasty weather is on it's way in.
I must make some funky faces while I'm playing Zelda because I get a massive tension headache after I play it. :oP
Hunter has mastered the pinching reflex. He's able to chew now, not overly-effeciently because I've held back on him eating more solid foods for waaaay to long. He's eaten banana pieces, and baby cookies so far, but I need to get to the store to pick up some Gerber products (sold only at Wal Mart). They make some cool finger foods for babies that are easily dissovled once goobed on.
I guess I've had a pretty decent week. I've been enthralled by moving plans and various related discussions. At least we're communicating clearly at last.
My voice isn't back to normal quite yet. I'm still all nasally from being sick...I'll take that over a dry hacking cough any day though.
Been finding ants in the living room. Must've killed at least 20 lastnight alone. Dunno where they're soming from though.

Was impressed by today's Oprah...Mom's Around The World.
http://www.milkbanking.net/ibmp/about_ibmp.html

I always enjoy her shows cause they are just so inspiring.

Red Flags

So, last week at Baby Group a nice lady came and dropped off a basket for me. It contained pamphlets on all sorts of resources within the community (Most of which I have gathered in the last 3 years) and a couple of books and whatnot. I was really impressed with it's thoroughness, as I myself had gathered these items in the time frame, I was impressed that they had it all in one place. I htought maybe that it would have been helpful had I recieved something like this when i had first arrived in Kelowna.
Anyways...today I went for Lunch at the Wellness Center, where we had a meeting from a person who's included in the program that handed these baskets out (Success by 6). It was basically a feedback information session in which we were asked how well they covered the bases, and if there were other things that could be brought to table with any resources they may have missed. I mentioned a whole lot of things, a few of which the lady stated she'd never been asked that before. I felt kinda special...LOL
Anyhow, we got a free Chinese food lunch out of the deal, and I even got to take the leftovers home too.
Was interesting, and am rather disappointed that this has only been brought to my attention now. I think I'd make a damned good resource manager someplace.
I think I'm ready to be back to work myself, but won't be happenin until after Hunter turns one. Am wondering what I'm gonna do with myself then.
Hmm...

So, we're in full swing of planning now. Chance and I are officially moving back to Ohio. Chance will be leaving before us, and I'll bring the kids down after Hunter's first birthday. I'd like to make annual trips with the kids back to BC, but we have yet to get that far in our planning.

Yesterday went to the dollar store and bought some garage sale paraphenalia, and I actually forgot a few items on the counter...LOL Chance went back today and got them for me, thankfully they had had them set aside in a bag with a note on it. :o) how silly o me.

I'm SO Steamed

Yeah.
Had a busy day today. Took the kids to baby group and then to the library and the dollar store and then the post office, and then to visit daddy at work.
Baby group was pretty busy, and Darius had a great time bouncing around with one of the other kids. I think I may need to do up an invitation for him.
Afterwards we went to the Dollar Store, and then the library (where it just happened to be coming up on Story Time!) and after we picked out a few books, he sat down with the rest of the kids, and I went to check out what we had selected. I was unimpressed when she couldn't find us in the system. After telling them our names and numbers twice, she told me I'd need to sign him up for another card. Great, so I pulled him from Storytime, went to my car and pulled out some ID and went back inside. After looking at my address, she left and came back and said he can't get one unless I pay the 75 dollar fee. By this time there was a large lineup behind me, and everyone heard this. I was so mad...when Chance had taken Darius in before to sign him up originally, they didn't charge him anything at all. So, I lost my temper a bit and said that it was outrageous to charge a four year old 75 dollars for a library card, and said I was curious how my husband got one for him for free, and told them I'd rather buy the books instead. I took the kids and left. I was so mad, and offended.
So, after mailing off a few birthday invites, and a letter for a friend, I went over to Chance's work for a visit. I explained to him what had happened and told him how embaressed and angry I had been. I mean, in front of a line up of, like, 6 ppl, she sneered, "is this on reserve land?" before disappearing and coming back with the news of the charge. That's like telling someone in the grocery store who's got over 100 bux worth of stuff on the conveyor and telling them in front of a huge lineup that their credit card has been denied. ANYone would be embaressed or belittled.
Afterwards, we went to the park and played with Darius' cap guns (which I don't really approve of, but I can't choose what ppl give him as gifts, and I enjoy playing with them myself) where Hunter enjoyed his first rides on the swings, teeter-totter, and the slide. Then we came home...and Hunter is tired again.
Tommorow we're going for lunch down at the Wellness Center instead of dinner. Yay!

Yikes.
So I ended up running Hunter to the Dr.'s today. Blah. Went to change his diaper after naptime and he had a poopie with blood in it. So, phoned mom (funny I never really take the kids to the Dr.'s without confirmation that I should) and packed up the boys, and off I went.
I dressed us all alike today, btw.
Since I didn't bring in the diaper, I coulnd't get a confirmed diagonses, but he inspected and gave a prescription which mom and D are picking up right now.

I feel like an ass. It's spring break for the next 2 weeks ere, and I didn't get the Birthday invites out to either school...I totally wasn't thinking about the timing. So, now we're left with mailing them out and scrambling to find phone numbers. Yikes. What a pickle!
So, it's a Spongebob Theme all the way, cause today D confirmed that he wanted a Spongebob cake as well. I can either find a cakepan, or start looking up pictures. Joy.

I figured the cure to my headaches (besides tylenol and ibuprofen) was to distract myself. Yeah. I'm a bad mommy...I started playing Zelda, and didn't realize what time it was until Chance walked in and said it was 10pm!
So, anyhow...ended up playing Zelda until 4am. got farther than I thought I would, and I'm impressed that Imade it so far on my own. I actually play better when either Chance or Darius is watching me cause I don't second guess myself as much.
I'm tired...LOL

Killer Headaches

Just lop my head off please.
Had a killer headache lastnight, and ended up just going to bed. It's back again today, and I can't stand to be still cause it just hurts so damned bad.

WHAT Were They Thinking??!!?!

My predictions for American Idol was that it would be toss up between Sundance, Chris Sligh, Melinda Dolittle, and Lakisha. What the fuck was "America" thinking voting Sundance off??! Sundance over Sanjaya? I'm sorry, but Sundance has more power in his voice, and has the ability to display more passion in his left toe.
I'm crushed. I'm speechless...and I'm angry that they don't know what the hell they're voting for.

Last night was good.
We went out for dinner at a restaurant with our parenting group, and left the kids with the group designated baby-sitters.
Had yummy chicken parmigana that looked like a real small portion when served, but turned out to be extremely filling. had more yummy chocolate cake afterwards, got a thank you card and a small gift for attending the group. I thought it was very nice.
Got back to the Wellness Center to pick up the kids, and found Darius walking along with his arms protectively surrounding a young boy who looked like he was still learning to walk. Was very sweet. After I fed Hunter (whom I found had cried most of the time while I was away) and we got them loaded intot he car, we needed to go get some food for Kimmie. On the drive to the Drive-Thru Hunter was kicking up a fuss to go to sleep, and I could hear Darius saying "shh, shh, shh, la la la". he soothed Hunter to sleep by holding his hand and humming to him...melted my heart.
I'm feeling very positive these days. though we're a little overwhelmed what with finaces and such, I definately know a little time will aide in paying everything off that needs it.
I'm starting to try and help my husband sort out exactly what he wants to do with himself. Whether it be move to Ohio, or try a different career path, it's clear that some help is needed.
Trying to keep that pathway positive is a feat in itself.

Yay.
Went to Baby Group today, which was lots of fun. Was just Hunter and I, Darius opted to go to the library and do some errands with Daddy instead. He got a haircut, returned his library books, went to the post office and bank to make a loan payment. They were busy boys, and he even got a dart gun out of the deal.
His ear wasn't bothering him today, so if it is bothering him tomorow then I'll start the anti-biotics.
Tommorow evening's parenting group is having a farewell dinner at La Cucina's. It's the last one before spring break.
My car was fixed today by the band's mechanic. He didn't even charge me or nothing! He replaced a gasline hose. Just a small thing. I know it's not perfect yet, but it'll run for now, and that's all I need.
Tonight I'm sposed to go have a serious talk with Chance. Oh boy, I'm positively jumping for joy over that one.
I forgot Hunter's sweater at parenting group...darn.
It's bright and sunny and warm with no wind today...spring is coming!

So Darius has an ear infection, and he's sick still. Triaminic for his cough at bedtime, and amoxicillan for his ear. Just gotta keep an eye out to make sure he's not allergic.
This is retarded.

I'm definately not as sick as I was before, but it is most definately making it's presence known to me. I'm feverish, and I feel exhausted...like it's the hardest thing in the world to stay awake. My stomache is so upset I get queasy just thinking about food, but have managed a bowl of chicken noodle soup and a few crackers. Am drinking some super yummy Rasperry Thriller Herbal tea right now with honey.
Poor Chance is now having a turn at total sick-dom where it's coming outta both ends quite frequently. I ask myself how I managed to get stuck with such a loud vomitter.
Darius looks so gaunt these days. I'm rather worried I'm not getting enough into him nutritionally. He's not his usual overly-active self, and am going to have to make an effort to ensure he's getting more than enough nutrition and liquids everyday. He's so lanky, I could swear he grew two inches in this last month.
Am attempting to watch Babel but it's really not piquing my interest much.
I'm so tired of being sick.

Well then.
Looks like I'm getting the stomach flu. Nothin in the solid food realm seems appealing to me, and whatever goes in one end comes right out the other. I'm just thankful that it's not coming out of both ends.

Tonight we went to Kelly O'Briens for dinner and I was full after my appetizer of Broccoli and Bacon soup. I tried to eat a bit of the steak I ordered which was super yummy in itself, but didn't manage to squeeze too much of it down before asking for a doggy bag.

Was feeding Hunter after we got home, and he actually pulled off and said "Yech". cheeky little bugger.

Mom took D out thrift shopping with her this mornin while Chance, Hunter and I slept in. Was nice.
Darius is still kinda sick, but he's so tired looking it's sad.

I'm worn out.
I don't even feel like taking a shower, it's too much effort.
I just want to sleep.

Have been irritated with Chance, cause he has yet to see the full blast of both kids not feeling well and he just doesn't really seem to be as effected as I am by all of this. (Always seems that way from the other side)
When Chance finally did see just how sick Darius was, he came running to me every 20 minutes.
I'm getting rather tired of the "I can't sleep" routine, although the last couple of nights it's been both D and Chance keeping each other awake. There are ways to get sleep that my husband isn't grasping, including the natural sleep-aid pills that I bought. I'm getting tired with the lack of effort as well.
Apparently we're coming up to one of those conversations again.
Joy.
I'm so frustrated. I've been at home for over two weeks now. Two weeks without any reprieve or any time away for myself. Do long hot showers count towards that? Cause I did take a few while I was sick. That makes me angry in any event.
Stupid plight of a fucking martyr mother. WTF.