my song selection was down to three...
Free - Train
Crazy - Patsy Cline
Landslide - Dixie Chicks/Stevie Nicks

Unfortunately it's not within our budget to make it to this years auditions. Our finances require tweaking. :oP
Phooey.
There is always next year I suppose.

Woke up lastnight and just could not go back to sleep for the life of me. Wandered outta the bedroom and it was 3am. Must've been awake since 2:30 at least though. Lied down on the couch and went to sleep immediately. Funny how that happens. Wasn't long before Hunter woke up and came and joined me though.

Nearly sliced the tip of my thumb off yesterday while slicing potatoes for french fries. Sheesh, it's to typical that things like that happen when no one else is home.
Once again had to banish D to his room, and clumcily pick up H without getting blood on him. Oy.
What a fiasco.

Hunter is teething again.
It's strange, when he gets like this, he doesn't want to be put down at all, and man...can he scream. Not just angry grr, but high pitched ear piercingly shrill.
He's got one top through the gum, and the other top front has just got a corner through the gum.

Oy!
We went to the park today, only for, like, 20 minutes, but it was still pretty fun. Hunter even stayed awake for the whole trip!
Been trying to relax and such. Thursday I had my first stright through nights' sleep in what felt like forever (but i'm sure it was only, like a week!).
I've been enjoying my sleep without fear.
Who would've thought it was possible to fear sleep. I was so afraid of sleeping because I was afraid I'd sleep longer than the 3 1/2 hours before I needed to take my next round of medicine and wake up in so much pain I'd be useless again. I preferred instead to walk around like a zombie.

Anyhow, all is better now, and am posting latest pix on Flickr.

Sleep Oh how glorious the escape of sleep is.
I slept all the way through the night last night. the first night in I don't know how long. No waking up to take pain killers, or put a child back to bed or sleep, or even to move over to make room for someone else. Just plain, glorious sleep.
I also took two naps this morning, which really helped out.
I almost feel back to normal, except for the fact that I'm still on my mainly liquids diet. I am cheating here and there with those things that smell too good to turn down though.
I wonder if I've lost any weight...I should go check.
My blogger now has a spell checker on it, how helpful is that!

Tonight is the Parade of Lights and Fireworks afterwards to celebrate SnoFest in Kelowna. Am planning on taking both boys, but we'll see how it goes.

Well, it hasn't quite been 24 hours yet, but holy schmoley. That was terrible. the pain after the removal has actually been worse than it was when it was there. More sharp, more intense, and longer lasting. Last night was horrible. After dinner I was writhing, in tears and bouncing all over the place. My jaw hurt, then i had a bit of a reprieve where I was completely exhausted.
I ended up called both the dentist and the nurses hotline, and the decided to head to the ER for a shot of a painkiller, but when I got there there was a huge lineup full of creepy people. I decided that if I was going to be forced to put up with such pain that I'd rather do it in the comfort of my own home, than in a lineup. So, we turned back around and came home, where I passed out on the couch.
I slept off and on, woke up about 3 times because of pain (keep in mind I conked out about 3am) and then got up at 6 with D.
Am currently attempting to get him down for a nap.
Joy.
Am waiting for the last round of meds to wear off to see where my pain level is b4 I decide to take the dentist up on his offer of either Percaset or Demerol.
This is silly.

DUDE!

That so totally sucked. No word of a lie that was one of the worst experiences I've ever had in my life. Should I decide to pull the other two at the same time in the future, I'm definitely going to be put under.
I'm upset that I got myself so worked up, but I was concerned about the fact that I was lead to believe that if they should damage the nerve in any way that I'd be without feeling in my right jaw for life, which was misleading. I certainly couldn't have that during my audition.
As it was, I got next to no sleep last night for fear of waking up in severe pain that would be intolerable. I slept on the couch, with the light on, and right next to both my pills and a glass of water.
I took a morning nap with Hunter this morning, that couldn't have been more than an hour long, then proceeded to get ready. I cooked breakfast/lunch but didn't eat hardly any of it cause it just sat like a lead weight in my tummy. I packed the boys' bags cause they were going to my Great aunt/uncle's for the afternoon, and then I got myself ready.
It was tough, I had a hard time keeping myself from visibly shaking.
All in all, I was in and out in 45 minutes (about 30 longer than my last wisdom tooth) and it was a terrible experience. not because it hurt, but because I had to be awake to listen to him breaking my tooth, drilling it, cutting my gum open, and then sewing it shut again.
That was very traumatic for me. I cried with relief when i got outta there.
I'm glad it's over and done with, but my jaw is still pretty tender because of the work done.
I'm starving now, and am drooling over regular food, but am sticking with the liquids only diet, cause I'd really really hate to get dry socket, both because it would mean more pain (which my tolerance level has just about had enough of) and because it would cost more money to take care of.
Thank goodness for Roger and Cathy. Well, Cathy and her girls kept me company while I tried my best not to think about what had just happened. The boys played contentedly and I really just kind of faded into the shadows, before Cathy sent me to lie down cause I was starting to feel drowsy.
Mom picked me up after work, and we came home to scrounging stuff up for a stew/soup that I could steal the broth from. I'm sooooo hungry, and I'm angry at myself for not eating, but what can ya do.

I swear to god I had better not have to go through anything else this painful this year. So far I've done one painful thing per year...giving birth, having teeth removed, surviving migraines and tension headaches...joy.

I'm exhausted.
The pain of today has really worn me right down, and I literally have no energy left.

I've been thinking about the auditions (as I'm sure a lot of people are) and am truly wondering what will happen.
I'm feeling excited that I'm finally doing it (after talking about it each year) and am feeling apprehensive about what could happen should I get put through to celebrity auditions and then on to Toronto. I would feel so guilty to be leaving my family behind (I can't expect Chance and everyone to come with me) because then I really would have to wean, and I'd be missing some very important Milestones.
I'm not entering Canadian Idol to win, I'm entering for the experience. I would be so grateful for the opportunity to live my dream, even if it is for a short time. I'll be glad to check something off my life's To Do list. I'm also looking forward to making some new friends.
This is my year for change, and though I started it out saying this year would be shitty, I know some positive things will come of it all.
I've been married for five years, and this is my year to get my life straightened out.

Yup, you guessed it.
The pain came back today. Worse than before, and so bad that the pain killers I took for it, didn't take it away.
I get 20 minute reprieves where I don't hurt, then 20 minutes of severe pain that brings me to tears and leaves me useless and writhing on the couch.
Since I so stupidly canceled my appointment to have it removed, this is my penance.
Thankfully, there's another specialist in town that had a cancellation for 1pm tomorrow that I can go to. They quoted me 475 to remove it, but hopefully that'll go down when they actually see the x-rays.
I'm hoping, cause we haven't paid anything with regards to our finances.
It's funny, every time we really screw our finances up, is when we have an emergency that requires what little amount of money that we have left.
We just never learn.
I sincerely hope that I haven't scarred my children for life, seeing as poor D witnessed my breakdown from the pain, and tried his best to comfort me. I couldn't do anything but shoo him to his room to watch a movie or play game-cube so he didn't have to see me crying without any way to help me.

Oh my god.
So, Thurday I went back to the Dr. cause my mouth wasn't stopping hurting. The pain was worsening. He prescribed my antibiotics and told me to up my dosage. Miracle of miracles, I have no more mouth pain. Am now in process of detoxifying my body and am permanently glued to the toilet. Joy.
Chance picked up more hours at the downtown B&G Club and started there today. I told him to push for a raise & benefits at his staff meeting, or find another job, cause this was only supposed to be a) a foot in the door, and b) 15 bux an hour.

I can't figure out a song...gimme some ideas!

I believe I'm going to find a way to get to Van on February 3rd and 4th. I'm hoping to try to hit the auditions for this years Canadian Idol. If anything, it'll be another experience to remember.

I swear to god. That goddamned dentist had better be a miracle worker. I can't sleep through the night, I keep waking up about 5 hours after I've taken my last round of medicine.
The T3s aren't really working anymore, and the Dr told me to up it to full 2, and he also put me on anti biotics cause he figures I've got an infection.Joy.
Not it's time to figure out how in the hell I'm gonna pay for my dental work. Shit.

That was the longest continual piece of poop I've ever had in my life. Laxatives are cool.

Common Knowledge

Have you ever been constipated? I haven't.
Ya know, I had no idea that Tylenol 3 with Codeine can constipate you. I found that out today, as I was doubled over in stomache pain and wondering what in the hell I ate (though honestly, my diet today was horrible). Mom walks in and says T3's constipate you ya know. I thought about it and I haven't had a bowel movement since I started taking them.
Now, Gramma knows this (had a 50 min phone convo with her today where we even chatted about T3's), Kimmie knows this, and mom knows this...but for some reason NO ONE told me this, not even my doctor. WTF?!?!?!
So, I sent mom to the store for some laxatives (oh, boy) and am now awaiting my first glorious relief...I hope it happens soon, cause I'm starving.
Yes, I know you all wanted to read about my bowel movements. :oD

Magpie

Yes, yes. Hunter is a magpie in training. I wonder if he'll fly someday?
He has a strong attraction to sniy objects, and has rendered me unable to wear my watch and locket while holding him because he dives for them. He's made the pictures in my locket soggy on more than one occasion before I've caught on to what he's doing.

Got some good video footage lastnight. :o)
Hunter had his first taste of Rice Cereal lastnight, and he finished all that I made for him. He really seemed to like it, and enjoyed playing with his spoon today as I was trying out the second round on him.
Went to the doctors today, discovered I'm running out of T3's, and out of ibuprofen, so made a trip and got two birds with one stone. Picked up a scrip for 100 T3's, and a bottle of 72 Extra Strength Ibuprofens. 22 bux, so not as bad as I was thinking it was gonna be. Thankfully. I've discovered that I have trouble sleeping immediately after taking my pills, and have to give it an hour before I can even think of sleeping, which kinda sucks, but oh well. At least I'm living as pain free as possible right now, though it's trade off is wandering around in a drug induced haze.
Put a couple of pictures on Flickr. D is so obsessed with making "beautiful" pictures with he and Hunter, I'm a shutterbug.
We've given our notice at the house that we're moving out by the end of the month. The pipes froze over there cause we didn't leave anything running while we were staying at mom's for the beginning of the cold snap. Gotta figure out what things are imperitive and needed over here, and pack the rest off to storage again. joy.
Went grocery shopping yesterday with mom cause they started a Dollar Days at Extra. We got 67 items for 78 bux. The most expensive thing we bought was a big block of cheese for 8.88. We're quite proud of that.
For some reason the sound gave out on the tv lastnight, and still wasn't working this morning. So, mom and Kim brought their TV out and traded with the TV in the living room. Kimmie was fiddling with it in the back room and managed to fix it somehow, though we didn't even know what was wrong with it. All that trouble for nothing...*g*
Made a purple cake and icing with D this morning. Actually, made the icing on y own, and it's waiting to be on the cake, but someone needs a nap first.
hmm...I love weekends.

I'm not an addict

at least not yet.
I'm not schedualed for the specialist until Jan. 22nd. I'm garunteeing that by then I will be thoroughly addicted to the codeine I've been on. The pain is so ridiculous that I've been taking 1 and 1/2 T3s every 4 hours, with two ibuprofen because the T3s do nothing for the swelling. I can't function like this for two weeks. I have been drinking plenty of water to try and keep my body in some sort of balance, and to make sure I'm cycling everything properly. This also means healthy snacking at 4 hour intervals. I can't remember the last time I got a good nights sleep.

Shit.

Holy toledo. If I could catch a break, now would be the time.
I seriously am getting quite fed up with this whole tooth business.
I went out lastnight with Chance's co-worker Sonja, and had a nice time, and was also back before 10m (I had left my place at 8:15) So when i got back I talked with Elsie a bit since she was watching Hunter while Chance went to the gym. Then I decided to pop in a movie, and about a quarter of the way through it I decided to go to bed. Took Hunter to bed, and fell asleep by around 11:30. I woke up at 2:30 in severe pain and writhed in bed until 3. I got up and took some tylenol which did nothing for me, then I took some ibuprofen which abated it a bit, but still didn't do much. So, I writhed on the couch, paced the living room and dining room for the majority of the time. By 4am Hunter had woken up, and I brought him out to the couch as having my head elevated felt better than lying flat, and by 4:30 I had fallen asleep with him on the couch. It wasn't without effort though. So, I dreampt of going on a long hike, but my jaw still hurt. How totally and utterly stupid.
Woke up and showered, and when I got out, all the boys were awake. Got dressed and made a quick (and expensive) run to the grocery store and made it back in time to unload and put away the groceries, and dash back out to the car to head back to the dentists office. Thank goodness they're so close or my boys wouldn'tve had anything for breakfast. :o)
So, like I said before, they did the x-ray and told me they couldn't do any work on it. Apparently the root is growing right alongside or right on the nerve that runs through my jaw. If it gets hit during extraction, I will be left without feeling in my lower right lip forever. Comforting.
So, he reffered me to a specialist who'll do it, but I have no idea what cost (I'm expecting in the 500 area due to sedation) or what kind of timeframe I'm looking at yet, which really sucks.
In the x-ray (we were both puzzled by this) it showed my tooth as coming in at about a 45 degree angle pointing upwards, and that's giving me ages of trouble. I don't understand it because all my other wisdoms have broken the gums, but my left one is literally growing in facing completely foreward, which is what we both thought would be giving me trouble, but it's not.
Fuckers took me for 91 bux today. Bastards...all of them. Stupid medical community.
I'm hooped...how am I supposed to pay our bills, rent, and pay for my tooth? I barely make any payments as it is. I need to take our family to one of those debt ppl you see on TV. The ones who corral your family into cash consioucness.

Stupid Place

I'm headed to the dentist tommorow to see what they can do for my wisdom tooth. I'm not happy because she said they only booked me for a pulling, and not surgery, which I'm garunteeing is what I need. If I require surgery to remove it, then they'll have to rebook. Damnit. Now, I betcha it's gonna cost me 75 bux just for tommorow, cheap ass bastards are just trying to milk me dry. Fucktards, all of them.
The only thing that helps my tooth is popping 3 Ibuprofen, but unfortunately that only lasts for so long, and the bottle recommends you only take a maximum of 6 per day. Just my luck.
So, I decided to come home today as I ran out of clean clothes at moms. Am doing laundry, tidying up, and organizing as usual.
I don't see what for though, cause we'll be out of this place as soon as we possibly can be.
The other day Chance came home to shower after a long day, and he came back right quick cause he said he was in the shower and heard another loud knock. Apparently something hit the trailer, don't know what though cause upon further inspection we couldn't see any new damage. Other than a few pictures being knocked askew, and a few things in D's room knocked off the wall, there isn't anything evident that something happened. When I was checking out the place, I looked in back, and noticed that our trailer is about 3 feet from the creek that runs along our house, and that it's causing the back end to sink into the soft soil/mud. I've been wondering about that ever since I put D in that back room. His bookshelf sits flush against the wall on the bottom, but on top it's about 6 inches away from the wall, and I couldn't figure out why. I know now.
We've decided this place is inhabitable for us. Now comes the chore of finding someplace new, and trying to save enough for another move, cause we're spending more time at mom's than we are our own place cause we're all afraid of it.

It was real windy out lastnight, and it had me on edge real bad. I had almost forgotten how afraid the wind made me with the holidays gone by. My heart starts to flutter and I feel as if I can't breathe, and I break out into a cold sweat and can't sit still. I wonder how long it'll take me to forget.

Well, it's truly silly. I'm even dreaming of my jaw hurting. I dreampt the last two nights that my jaw was aching, so apparently I cna't even sleep it off. Made me mad.
Mom and D walked to Petro today, and when I picked them up we carried oninto town where we hit a couple of thrift stores, and then exchanged my DVD player (it was skipping all the dvds)
It was pretty icy out today. it snowed blizzard-like lastnight, and then today was clear and sunny. took me forever to scrape my car off, but at least my doors weren't frozen shut as they have been on the colder nights.
We're having a mini turkey dinner tonight. Stuffed Turkey breast, stuffing, carrots, mashed potatoes, and Cranberry sauce.
Hunter has learned a new trick in his Jolly Jumper. He gets off a few real good bounces, and then lets his legs rest by drawing them up and together to just let the spring do his bouncing for him. It's pretty cute.
Uploaded a pic of Pinky to Flickr.

Om my god, just kill me and get it over with.
My wisdom tooth is trying to come in, and it's pushing my teeth together so much that I can't even get dental floss in between them. I'm dying...seriously. I can't do anything but focus on the pain because it's so intense. I could hardly sleep lastnight because I couldn't get over the intesity and fall asleep.
It's not as intesnse today, but I'm still in a lot of pain. I seriously need it removed, but I know it's going to require surgery and sedation.
Crap.

Yay.
I'm tired...trying to get back into my morning schedual.
Drug my behind out of the couch this morning...LOL. I was watching movies late lastnight and crashed out on the couch.
Watched Chance do his annual Polar Bear Dip.
It was interesting. Waited for Hunter to wake up from his nap, got the boys dressed and hauled out the door in a rush to make sure we got there on time. It was so windy and so cold it was rediculous. I made D wear his snowsuit and the rest of his iwnter gear, then wrapped him in a blanket. I had a blanket around Hunter, who promptly fell asleep again, and I even had a blanket around myself. My face was real cold though.
Was only there for about 15 minutes, but it was interesting.
Made for some fun pictures in any event. :oD
Afterwards we visited the Dollar store, where I bought some trinkets.
Came back here, and just didn't bother leaving again.
I'm avoiding all the work at home, see.
On the brightside on the quick trips home I've been cleaning and organizing, so it's not so bad. At least I got my living all vacuumed out, upholstry and carpet, and it's been organized. Even got my tree and stuff down, and waiting to go to storage.
Boy, my typing is pretty bad this morning.
Got an immense list of things to do at home, so I'll be spending the night at home I suppose.
Gotta send out a package to pokie today, she forgot a thingy for her game systems. :o)
On with the day I suppose.

So, it's 2007.
Shit.
We got Tia back yesterday, after them making such a fuss about needing payment upfront because they don't do credit, they phoned and told us we could come get her, even if payment hadn't beenin full. Kimmie and I went and picked her up. When the girl at the office went back to get her, we could pick out her yeowling when she was getting closer. She was so happy to see Kimmie it was amazing. She yeowled even louder to give him hell, then immediately started rubbing her chin on his face. Then all the way home she told him about how horrible the hospital was, and how much she missed us. She snuggled down into the basket we had her in, and contentedly let kimmie pet her.
So, the kids have been baneed from the grandparents' room to give Tia a chance to heal properly because she's not allowed any overly phsyical activity like running away from us.
Went and visited Cathy and Roger lastnight, just for about an hour and half. I brought a cheese ball over, and they scarfed it down in a matter of minutes. I can't believe how long it's actually been since I'd made one, guess I'll hafta make them more often.
It doesn't feel any different.
We had tacos for dinner lastnight...late, mind you, but dinner none-the-less. I tried mixing ground pork with it, and it tasted quite nice.
I predict this year will suck.