I'm exhausted.
The pain of today has really worn me right down, and I literally have no energy left.

I've been thinking about the auditions (as I'm sure a lot of people are) and am truly wondering what will happen.
I'm feeling excited that I'm finally doing it (after talking about it each year) and am feeling apprehensive about what could happen should I get put through to celebrity auditions and then on to Toronto. I would feel so guilty to be leaving my family behind (I can't expect Chance and everyone to come with me) because then I really would have to wean, and I'd be missing some very important Milestones.
I'm not entering Canadian Idol to win, I'm entering for the experience. I would be so grateful for the opportunity to live my dream, even if it is for a short time. I'll be glad to check something off my life's To Do list. I'm also looking forward to making some new friends.
This is my year for change, and though I started it out saying this year would be shitty, I know some positive things will come of it all.
I've been married for five years, and this is my year to get my life straightened out.