Saturday, June 25, 2005

Why...Oh For Christ's Sake, Why?

This is a day where I seriously shake my head in awe and wonder why the fuck am I married to a man with absolutely, POSITIVELY NO sense what-so-ever.

Thursday, June 23, 2005

Loooong Day

Yup...I've been on the go since early early.
Got up...showered, went to work...did diddley at work. Came home, packed up stuff for storage, went and dropped it off, and made an attempt to re-arrange some stuff whilst Chance was switching our stuff over. (We managed to convince someone at the storage place to give us a smaller unit without paying the 3 months in advance, and it's 50 dollars cheaper)
Went a bought a lock cause we didn't quite finish, and didn't have a second one. Came home, ate dinner whilst watching Canadian Idol for 30 mins, then got up and started tidying the mess we made when we were packing things for storage, and decided to do a few things to the sewing corner. Put D to sleep, then got up and cleaned the tub to a literal sparkling shine! Yay.
It's sick that I can say that my sparkly tub makes me happy.
Re-arranged some stuff in bathroom, then put up some much needed decorations...
Did some laundry (about 3 loads in the proccess), and am now resting...
it's hard to come down from a cleaning high.

Thursday, June 09, 2005

Mothers In law...

were put on this earth for a reason...I swear it.
Alls I can say is thank goodness Mothers in Law were put on this planet or I'da been s.o.l. lastnight.
All by myself with D lastnight, and had a pretty decent go of it, until it came time to give him a bath. Well, I ended up slipping and losing my grip on him whilst getting him out of the tub, and he landed right on his head, and I couldn't tell if he hit his temple or not.
D hadn't had a nap yesterday, so once he was out of the tub, calmed down, and dressed, I layed with him on my chest, and he fell asleep in under five minutes.
Kind worried by this, I msg-ed my mother in law, who phoned me immediately (thank goodness, cause I was considering resorting for tears), and told me to take him to the walk in clinic...just in case.
Called Chance, who proceeded to freak out at me because we mis-communicated, and took him up to the walk-in. The doctor said he was fine, but told me to wake him up every 2 hours through the night, just to be sure. So, Yay's gone, Chance's gone...and I get to wake him up every 2 hours through the night.
Hardly slept at all, it felt like come mornin.
Called Sylvia once we got home, and warned I may be she said she'd let me off early.
Darn it if I didn't get outta there until 1:30. *sigh*
Didn't even bother with a nap once I got home because I knew if I fell asleep, I wouldn't get up till the next morning...
Cooked dinner.
Played with Darius.
This day is taking forever to get to bedtime.

Wednesday, June 08, 2005


Driving home today from work, I happened to look over at my arm. There was a HONKIN spider crawling on my bare arm. Well damned if I didn't scream and jump, and swat.
Then kicked myself for swatting it cause then I was stuck waiting for it to show up again before I could kill it.
Didn't have long to wait thankfully because it showed up a couple of seconds later on my thigh. So, I then slapped my thigh really really hard.
Now I have an ouchie.
But the little bugger is dead, and that's what he gets for scaring the piss outta me.

Tuesday, June 07, 2005

Too Big, Too Little...Just Right

Somedays I wonder...
In the past, there were times when my standards were too low, maybe too high, but I never really had just right.
I wish and hope that just right will arrive in my life. Wait impatiently for it to arrive, like watching water boil.
Sometimes I think I'm just a little ant in the world, making my way to the anthill where I belong.
Comeing home at night to those 2 cuddly little arms, that hold my heart, like I wish someone would. The only man I actually enjoy sleeping with anymore, who can bring me comfort, and joy, and sorrow that I've missed so very much just to ensure his safety and survival.
I often wonder if I'll ever find that in a man who'll love me like I want to be loved.

Monday, June 06, 2005

I wish...

And it seems the harder I wish, the faster I fall.
The splat is the most entertaining part.
Immigration got Chance's hopes up again, and by doing such, he's now downtoan on a rampage. *sighs*
Funny...I had things to do today, but so far have only managed to accomplish one thing. getting his cake baked.
I'm willing to bet that he's already spent all the birthday gift certificates. As if they couldn't wait until we had our whole list of things to do, and gotten it done in one shot. Gas is being wasted here.
I feel like such a twit sometimes.
I feel more lonely than not.
You know what's sad about my life? I fucked it up. Yup, there's no one to blame but me. I hate it when that happens. If I could sue someone for the way my life is going, I'd be rich, and somewhat relaxed...and maybe content enough to turn all attention to Darius, and let it all slide by.

Sunday, June 05, 2005

What a Day

Today, I skipped out on work, cause I was too tired. I've been joining mom as a binge down at the Casino.
Too embaressed to tell Sylvia I was too tired to show, and considering I didn't even have the decency to phone, I'm stalling before I finally call her.
It's rainy out right now.
We wasted time yesterday by 4x4-ing. Did some damage to the Expedition, so I guess that ends our trips with the big ole' truck. Fuck.
That's about all I can say about that...cuase god damn if I'm already havin trouble figuring out this post-truck budget of mine. It's workin, but some little extras are needed here and there. S'the way it works I suppose.
So am looking at taking a pregnancy test. Again.
I told mom while I tossed the silly thing into the cart today, just tell me to shut up and go on birth control already. *g*
Well, even though I can't say I am positive, I am feeling rather moody, craving foods, and have a sore...*ahem* chest. Fuck if it's just PMS. Then that would mean with extra stress, I'm all outta whack.
How I hate money, and it's ability to screw with everything.
Chance and I have been getting into little spats, after having 2 weeks of relative calmness between us. I about tore his head off yesterday and the day before. He's been laying on heavily for me to buy him a truck. Just a beater, but at least 1500.
Like...okay, I'm made of money, and my sole purpose in life to to support your sorry ass, and buy you whatever you want, whenever you want.
Just shut up already, and leave me alone, I have enough on my plate with trying to get us out of the last mess you helped to push me into.
God...grant me wisdom, and patience. And if it's not too much trouble, grant my husband the revelatin of being a good, respectful, and decent husband.