Parenting Failures

You know we've had a really rough 6 months.
We moved from our own home, to my MIL's, to my MIL's new home, to my parents.
We moved from one to state to another, then on to another country. We've gone from having more than enough room for all of our junk, to squeezing more in than there's room for.
We've had a decent relationship with each other, to letting the circumstances get the better of us. All of us.
We've gone from being supported by my Mr, to being supported by me. And being jobless in between.
We've gone from one Immigration system to another.
We've switched schools, started with new ones, and worked as closely as we could with teachers. We've started counselling, alone, together.
I want so badly to not feel like I'm on the brink of tears at any moment. I want to actually be happy, and not pretend that I am. I don't want to feel so tired. I don't want to see my own anger flash quite as quickly. I want to be able to cope.
We put D into counseling back in November. He's angry. We can't seem to help him.
We can't help him because we're at fault.
We fought hard to keep our relationship intact, and to avoid familiar pitfalls and old habits. They, unfortunately, got the better of us.
We've slipped into familiar routines, accusations, battles, and finger pointing.
We are failing our children.
We're failing because we don't have the ability to show our children just what to do when the going gets tough, and then keeps on going.
The cracks that were there are now showing through.
My child is angry, upset,sad, and saying things a 7 year old shouldn't even be able to conceive of yet.
I phoned the Child & Youth Mental Health place today, to get us an appointment (all of us), to get some help. The intake worker gave me a questionairre over the phone. It was awful to admit a lot of the stuff out loud, and so unpersonally over the phone, without even knowing what the person I was talking to looked like.
I'm ashamed at some of the things I had to admit to. I'm sad that I let it get this bad.
I love my children. I love my oldest son. That hasn't stopped me from being two heartbeats away from wanting to phyisically hurt him. It should. There are times when I walk away and I'm envisioning myself giving him a slap (or worse) to stop him from doing what he's doing.
I love my son. That hasn't stopped me from feeling like dealing with him is a lost cause. Is that just how I work?
It makes me question if my motivations for having children, or even wanting children in the first place were honest. It makes me wonder if having my children in my care is the safest, best course of action. It makes me wonder just how my children will look back on their childhood when they remember it. It makes me wonder if they will feel like I do about their childhood.