Wednesday, August 23, 2006

Family Life

well it's another busy week. I know I create it.
Hunter will be seeing a physiotherapist tommorow morning. I hope it'll help him feel better.
So D, H, and I are all sick. Probly caught from a friend...but we're not so far gone that we need a doctor, so that's good. Will be taking H in this evening to try and see our family dr. just to be sure. :o)
Gonna be a sleepover on Friday, and will also be the first night alone with both kids for Chance. I'm curious to see how early he shows up with Hunter. ;o)
Am finishing up odds and ends that I've been meaning to do around the house. Am kind of looking foreward to mom and Kimmie's trip, cause it'll give me a chance to do all the little things without fear of waking up kimmie. And it'll be quiet. No CSI's or Law & Order's till they return! LOL Sometimes I like the way those shows mak you think, but I can find them depressing after a while. Scary what the human race can do to each other.
I'm stuck on the phone with some guy for annoying. I mean, I'm all for that sort of planning, but I'm a busy woman, just gimme the damned papers, and be done with it, don't prattle off to me...I find my hours too precious to waste it listening to you.
I'm hoping to get to both local newspapers today to put out the birth announcement for Hunter...that'd be nice. Been thinking about doing that for ages.
Chance is spending the morning playing golf with his friend. Oh boy.

I understand that because I'm nusing I'll pretty much have H strapped to me until I wean him, but I'm finding it rather annoying that he can go out and do whatever he wants to (not to say that he doesn't ask about whatever he wants to first) without a care in the world about when to be home by. That drives me bonkers.
Which brings me to my next subject. Am thinking of weaning and switching to formula. I find I'm not enjoying nursing as much as I did with D, and am finding it more of a hindrance than a blessing. I hate how much time it takes away from D and I. I can't stand getting out of the house without him (mainly because if it's more than two hours then I need a pump...badly)...having my own personality without a growth on my chest interrupting everything I do.
I guess it's harder to keep yourself in sight when you've got another child because I feel like I'm completely consumed by family, and that there's really no room left for me.

You know what's sad? Twice this week I've had people ask me when I'm due. I must just look that pregnant. First it was twins and when ya gonna pop, now it's back to when are you due? Fuck off already. If I ever had an ego about the way I looked it's now completely destroyed and laughing it's ass off at me.
No...I'm not bitter.
Went to "Options for Sexual Health" clinic Monday night (was gone for two hours where Lori, Lynn, and mom watched the boys and by the time I got back Hunter was ready to eat again) and got some low-dose birth control pills. Oh boy. I haven't been on birth control since I was a teenager. I can't even remember the last time we had any contraceptives. I almost find the idea offensive.
I don't sound like I'm in a very good mood, do I? Well, I am...but I just have a few kinks to work out is all.
Chance bought me flowers yesterday. I like the gesture, but sometimes that's not enough, you know? Referring back to the consuming part of family life, I feel lost, and he should be the one finding me...but apparently he's having trouble adjusting as well because there's isn't anything there for me to hold on to.

2 thoughtful remarks:

Anonymous said...

Raising a family is a difficult proposition with moments of despair, hopelessness, and loneliness. However, nothing erases the exhaustion quicker than a smile or a simple little look that only our children can give us. Sounds like you've got a lot going on...perhaps the slow lane will rejuvenate everyone. Arrange family time for all of you to enjoy one for other people giving "input" about your body - I agree with you. Who are they except insensitive nosy bodies who have no couth. They don't warrant a response, so don't waste any of your thoughts or words on them.

Anonymous said...

I can't relate to how having a baby feels or the obligation you have to them...or how it would feel for a husband to be off doing his fun exciting things to leave his wife at home. *sigh* but the picture of you in your new outfit was absolutely beautiful and I hope you can feel as good as you did that day everyday :)