Good-Bye September

September was busy. SO busy.
School started for both boys, and I started working, finally. It's been a month full of adjustment...at least that's what it feels like. We're ending it pretty much like it started out, broke. It's difficult to see our situation changing, knowing it may be more than 6 months away. I'm working, and though I'm getting regular hours, it isn't nearly enough to keep us afloat, leaving me feeling like I should find myself a second job to add to the income. While I'm aware that there's only so many hours in a day, I truly feel like I need to be working all but the amount that I need to sleep.
It's been rather stressful without any extra cash floating around, and it always seems to ebb and flow. Sometimes we seem to be holding our heads above water, and other times we really seem to be floundering and sputtering. I know I could probably properly plan this stuff so that it seems nice and steady the whole time, but I really feel like I lack that ability right now.
I'm sad to say that when we flounder, everyone in our household flounders...and I hate knowing that could have anything to do with us being here. We cost a lot to put up. Food, water, electricity, toilet paper, and energy. We cost a lot to put up.
It's hard watching my family struggle their way through it.
I still love my job, but today was a small case of "Too many cook spoil the broth". I'm a front counter kinda girl, and most everyone who was working with me today were back kitchen kinda people (cept the owner) and there were quite a few folks who ordered, and then got confused because both my bossess were out front with me, spitting out options to them, and then not being able to find the specific modifiers in out computer. It was a tad frustrating because I'm generally pretty quick and such since I've gotten the hang of how to work things. Still, today's shift really seemed to fly by. I've noticed, though, I've got the same hours I did today 5 times before the next pay cheque. Kind of a bummer as it's only a 4 hour shift, right in the middle of the day. Second thought, I'm gonna have to talk to them about the schedule they have because they've got me on Thanksgiving weekend, and I'm not going to be here for it.
The boys are so cute. Each day when I get home H greets me with a "MOM! You came back! I missed you!" Makes me feel all warm and mushy inside :o) D gets excited to, and then all three of them clamour to tell me about their day. It's quite a fiasco, but it makes me feel appreciated.
Mr volunteered to be the Vice President of the local PAC/PTO. I think he's trying to out-do me, ;o) I'm hoping it goes smoothly for him.
D's class went on their first feild trip of the year to a local creek/waterfall to watch the Kokanee Salmon Spawning. It's usually the first feild trip of the school year for all the schools in the area (public anyhow). It's a fabulous learning experience I think. I like watching the red streaks in the creek beds while walking by, with the strong smell of fish in the air. It's a fabulous cycle of life.
October is my birthday month. Yes, I like to take an entire month to celebrate myself. I'd like to think I'm gonna get a small something for myself each week, but who knows if I'm gonna get around to it with the cash situation. I turn a whopping 28 this month. Hmm, gonna hafta start planning a fab 30th, will need a coupla years just to make sure I can pull it off, LOL
I gotta get my ass moving on making that damned Stay Puft costume...

Michael Jackson & My Job

I had a great week at work, despite being sick.
I love my job. I don't think I can say it enough. I enjoy telling people about my heritage, the things we sell, and welcoming our regular customers back for the day. I enjoy cleaning the dishes (weird, I know), making the drinks, and serving the food. It's a fun, relaxed atmosphere, and makes me feel great as an employee. Last night I closed, and had that place so sparkling you could've eaten from the surfaces. The boss lady was telling me that she had received some positive feedback about my customer interaction, as well as complimenting me on how busy of a worker I am (phrased as "you kick some major ass whenever you're here"). Someone even complimented me on my smile. It's nice to be appreciated.
After I arrived home, I discovered that Mr had printed off some song lyrics for D to practice, and he spat them out at me. Michael Jackson's Beat It. Then he showed me his dance moves that he learned from the Smooth Criminal video on You Tube. This MJ fascination began when MJ died. They played his music videos all day long on MTV, and we watched them. D fell in love with Thriller. That's what started it. While watching Thriller on You Tube, he discovered that a whole bunch of MJ's videos were parodied in Lego. He loves the Lego versions just as much. So, he loves MJ. I am now making him an MJ cd so he can sing and dance in his room with his stereo.
I'm trying my best to ensure that he doesn't feel embarrassed about singing in front of people, or dancing in front of people. He comes across as so fragile when he does it. I remember being young and loving my singing, and thought I was really good. It got quashed until I was a teen because of something someone said to me. I was so sensitive and embarrassed about it, I only did it in private until later.
I want him to be proud of his talent. I just want to nurture it so that shy look on his face disappears.
MIL is visiting today. She brought up a load of our stuff, and a gentlemen friend. I hadn't realized just how much I missed her. I know she's one of the only people I can share my joy about my new job with, that will give positive reenforcement. I'm an adult, but I still need that. It's nice to have someone say "I'm glad you've found something that you enjoy" or, "tell me how much you enjoy it" or "tell me why you enjoy it so much". Everyone needs that.
I'm still sick. I wound up taking Friday evening off from work because that was the worst day. Fever, clogged head, sinus pressure, leaky faucet nose, burning back, fatigue...the whole bit. Saturday I didn't even know I was on the schedule, and we were planning on going to see Trevor Linden, when I got a call from the boss asking if I could come in at noon instead of 3pm. Good thing she phoned. It's looking like I may have a decent paycheque this payday. Good thing cause Thanksgiving (Canadian) is coming up, and so is a family wedding that we'll need to travel 5 hours to go and see.
D got some new fish this week. We lucked out and found a whole fish starter set at the thrift store when we went out last for only $8. Total we only spent about 21 dollars on the fish & set, lots cheaper than if we had done brand new. Two small Goldfish, an Aquatic Frog, and a Snail. He named them Frank, Goldie, Snailey, and Froggy. I kinda thought Frank came outta left field, but whatever. They now have a happy home in his room.
My throat is raging sore today, but I'm coughing up lots o junk so I know I'm getting better. Thank goodness.
Did I mention that I love my job?

Thinking Out Loud

There's been a lot running through my mind.
I love my job. I know it may just be my personality, but I'm really perky and happy no matter what I'm doing there. I always have a smile plastered to my face, and try to do my best helping all of those folks who come in.
The atmosphere is fabulous, and I've noticed the difference between now and when I started working years ago. A while ago I may have just stood around. When I work now, I look for things to do. I know if I'm standing still, I'm not doing my job. I interact with the customers, double check to make sure everything is ok, tell them about the food we serve, offer a bit of history about the area, bus the tables, make drinks, do dishes. The only thing I don't do, is cook. I also get along great with my bosses. I've not yet had one rude customer, which I think is saying something.
Been pondering HNT, and why I participate. There's an argument that the only reason why I do it, is to get attention from you bloggers. I wonder if that's what's thought of me, if I shouldn't just stop doing it all-together. Things look different on different days though, ya know? I do HNT because it gives me an opportunity to take beautiful pictures myself. Motivates me to see myself in a different light, and to share that light with other people, with the intention that if I do it enough I will be able to believe what I see is actually true. It is not so strange people can gawk at me, it's not so I can boost my self esteem by depending on others to give me a temporary boost. There are plenty of photos I take of myself that don't make HNT, that I don't share, and each of them is just as beautiful as the ones I post. The thought though, of anyone thinking I do it just for attention is offensive enough to make me think twice about what I'm doing. This will require some thought.
Along those same lines though, one could add that if I'm only doing HNT for attention, then I could conceivably also be doing meme's just for attention, like a comment whore. I do them because they're fun, and nine times out of ten I don't even read everyone else's answers (asides from my blog friend's, of course).
Had a conversation the other day with someone, who, after asking me about how things were going, stated "Well damn, you're in a world of shit aren't you?"
I'm an optimist, and I believe that everything happens for a reason. Eventually, I will have my day. Someday I won't have to fight so hard for the things I hold near and dear.
Someday.
If I didn't hold up that attitude, I would've found some way to get the hell out years ago. The number of obstacles that my family has overcome since we've been together have been absolutely immense, and each one of them humbled us and made us see just how vulnerable and insignificant we are in the grand scheme of things.
That being said...Someday will be our day.
I'm starting to get sick though...hopefully I'm not contracting a freak case of Swine Flu...LOL
I'm hoping I won't get so sick that I can't work. I don't want anyone else to catch what I have, but I also need the hours, ya know?
Oh well, everything happens for a reason...

Thursday Thunks

1. Does soap or shampoo have to really lather up for you to feel that it cleaned throughly? I guess so. Truthfully, I shampoo my hair so much it's kind of difficult to say. I shampoo three times each day I shower, to ensure the removal of all the oils. Mainly because I use a super cheap shampoo twice before I use the good stuff :oD The super cheap doesn't lather as well, and the good stuff does.

2. Do you have a long standing joke with someone that you still laugh about every time you talk to that person? I often tease an old friend about a time where he cooked me spaghetti and it didn't turn out, but it's honestly getting to be almost too old to use anymore.

3. Share something that happened to you this past week that was unusual. I met a few people from Fiji, and got to sit down and have breakfast with them whilst comparing notes on our cultures.

4. If you dropped a purple crayon and a green crayon off a roof, which would melt faster in the sun? It's sunny and I'm on a roof? It's hot enough to melt wax, and I'm on a roof? Am I high? Am I suntanning?? I think the purple because it's darker...unless you have a dark green...

5. You are standing in line (grocery store, bank, etc.), and someone gets in line behind you that stinks. The stink is so bad that people in line in front of you turn around and look to see if you are the one causing the stink. Do you cover your nose, hold your breath, breathe through your mouth or just get out of line altogether? I breathe through my mouth, or dig out a piece of gum to get a breath of fresher air.

6. If you dropped your cell phone in the toilet, would you fish it out? If so, how much soap would you use to wash your hands afterwards? of course I would fish it out. I'd wash my hands once, use some rubbing alcohol to sanitize, and then wash again twice more to get rid of the alcohol smell. The real question here, is do I let the phone tech guy at the store know why I'm asking for a replacement before or after he picks it up...

7. Sydney Australia dust storm (link). How long do you think it would take you to clean your house after that sort of dust storm? About a day or two, if the kids weren't bothering me.

8. Do you think you can dance? Yes. You need to be asking if I can dance well...heehee. For all you know I could do the crazy white man dance...

9. You are out to eat and someone across the room is staring at you. Do you get paranoid, try to ignore them, or go find out why they are staring at you? I tell my husband and make him go find out why they are staring at me.

10. Come up with a crazy, wacky Thursday Thunk question. if you had your very own radio show, what sorts of guests would you bring on to interview, what sort of music would you play, and what time slot would you prefer?

Half Nekkid Thursday

I love fishnets, and was happy to lay my hands on a few new pairs. Now if I can only get some extra time alone to get my shots to turn out the way I want them to...

Anticipation

I'm so excited...and I just can't hide it!
First of all, read a story in the paper today, it was a write up on the cafe I'm working at.
Second, right next to said article was a small blurb stating that Trevor Linden is coming to my little itty bitty town to aid a grand opening of a bank, and will be signing autographs. Seriously. I dunno what the guy did, but I do know I grew up hearing his name often, as a Canuck player. So, I read up on him on Wikipedia. I can't wait to introduce my kids to someone who was a household name while I was growing up.
Back in 2003 The Prime Minister of Canada at the time, Jean Cretein, came to Kelowna to view the damage done by the Okanagan Mountain Park Fire, as it was substantial in the amount of damage it did to one section of town. I was adamant that I take D (who was barely 15 months old then) to go and see him. Mr thought it would be impossible to get anywhere's near him, so decided not to tag along. After his press conference, we waited in the hallway that he would be coming through, and as he walked by, he stopped, made a beeline for us, and tweaked D's pudgy little cheek before shaking my hand and carrying on. That moment will stay forever in my memory. My oldest son was noticed by the Canadian Prime Minister (and I got to shake his hand). I was very proud (especially considering I liked him and how he handled his job).
This Saturday's excursion to meet Mr. Linden will be a close equal for me. I remember hearing his name, cheering for him, and listening to my family members yelling his name when he made a goal.
CAN NOT WAIT.

Big Day & Commitment

Holy crowly folks. I did my first 8 hour (plus) shift today, and boy am I bagged. In a good way.
I'm thoroughly addicted to caffeine, thanks to their Americano, Coffee Toffee extreme, and fabulous mexican blend of coffee. I'm chewing whitening gum like mad.
We had a crazy rush today during lunch, for just the three of us working. We made over 35 dollars in tips for the days (considering I didn't bother to count the little change), which was mostly made during this rush.
Was a lot of fun, and I really enjoy the environment. I don't feel intimidated to ask for help, which is a big plus, for me. Since this was my second shift during their opening, I'm quite impressed at how well I did, though, of course, there is still room for improvement. I'm sure I'll catch on, as I'm quite certain I'm being far too difficult on myself :o)
I'm kind of embarrassed that I haven't actually tried any of the menu items, other than the drinks. I'm sure I'll get around to it.
My feet are sore.
I've put myself On-Call in case they should ever get a huge rush like we did today. I live about 4 city blocks away from work, and I don't usually stray from my area of home, mainly due to the fact that all the shopping (asides from the second hand variety) are as close as work is, thanks to a recent boom in building. That being said, since I don't usually have anything structurally planned that is too important to be interrupted, I'm all for the extra hours. I don't mind placing myself at their disposal.
The first PAC (Parent Advisory Committee) meeting is on Wednesday eve, and I'm really looking forward to it. Apparently I'll already know a few people there, and I'm hoping that I'll be able to make just as big of a name for myself as I did in the last.
Mr surprised me at work today, by dropping by and giving me the gift of a new cell phone of my very own. I say it's my very own, because this is the first Monthly Plan/Contract phone that I've ever had. Sure, I've had cell phones (and I actually still have the one I had in Ohio, but I'm only using it for an alarm clock right now), but they've always been pre-paid. We've never had a stable enough life that I've been secure enough to get one.
This is a big step for us. A form of commitment, really. A small thing to signify our plan to make a life in BC for ourselves.
Truthfully, I haven't been putting in as much effort as I could into our relationship of late. I'm sad about that. I'm glad though, that I've been able to encourage the Mr by stating that I'm happy we have a plan for ourselves. We've made a plan for ourselves, and though we know to expect a lot of bumps, we'll be working towards it as much as we possibly can.
I'm tired.
H starts his regular schedule of pre-school this week. We've finally gotten the boys into a regular sleeping routine. The boys generally (tonight is an exception) go to sleep early, leaving us a few hours of free time afterwards. What a gift.
We bought D a Captains Bed from the Salvation Army Thrift Store on Saturday. Was exciting. We had to switch his room around, but we did get it figured out. Next is a bed for H, and getting him into his own room (now that he's nearly sleeping through the night). I always feel so low when my mr makes a comment about wanting to sleep in the bed with his wife. I've really slacked in the department of cutting out the family bed. There must be a reason why, I just don't care to face it right now.
Anyhow, I'm gonna go catch a few z's, and get ready to start my day bright and early again tomorrow morning.
I love you blog peeps, you keep me grounded, even though I've never even met you. You rock.

Friday Fill-Ins #142

Click the logo to play

And...here we go!

1. My car is waiting for me to buy it.

2. D's first day off from school is coming up next.

3. Lately, things seem disorganized, but I can deal with it.

4. My front porch is one of my favorite 'hiding' places.

5. What happened to being kind to strangers.

6. Leaving behind a better world for my children than I had is not impossible!

7. And as for the weekend, tonight I'm looking forward to a free dinner, tomorrow my plans include either working or taking care of some canning for my great aunt who's ill and Sunday, I want to play some games with the boys!

today is H's first day of pre-school.
*sniff sniff*

Thursday Thunks

1. My daughter (aka Demon #1) informed me the other day that her hugs were worth a million dollars. Would you give up hugs - giving and receiving - for the rest of your life, for a million dollars? No. I can get hugs from anyone and everyone (and I usually do). A million dollars isn't worth the time I get to spend connecting with other human beings for the rest of my life.

2.Have you ever been bitten by a member of the canine family? Can't says I have. I have been bitten by a horse though...

3. What is your favorite color of jeans? White, though I rarely wear them anymore, two kids makes it tough to stay pure...LOL

4. What is something that has changed in public schools that you wish was the norm when you were in school? A decent, caring teacher who isn't an ass when you bring your complaints and concerns to them.

5. What is your news source? Castanet.net Because of them I no longer watch the 5 o'clock news.

6. What sort of people do you think read your blog? I have no idea, though I would assume a wide variety, looking at the list of followers I have.

7. If I told you that I had a headache, you would say..........??? Have you had enough water today? Have you had enough caffeine? You should try massaging the fleshy part of your hand. Would you like a Tylenol, I have one.

8. You go to a buffet style restaurant, what is the first food you put on your plate? Potatoes.

9. If you were stranded on a desert island.... no, we aren't asking that again. Lets put a twist into this. Would you volunteer to be dropped off on a desert island, to be picked up in a month? And you don't get to bring those 3 items, either. Yes. It would rock my socks to be able to strut nude without having to worry about anyone spying on me. Just think of that awesome all over tan I'd get!! Oh, and I'm crafty and inventive, I don't need those three things...

10. When the sun sets, what are you usually doing? Trying to get the kids settled, giving them their snacks and getting them ready for bed.

Half Nekkid Thursday

I've spent a considerable amount of time taking pictures of other people lately. Mainly it's to avoid what I'm seeing in the mirror. It's difficult to surpass those things that stick out in your mind, the nagging self doubts. For me, it's hard to realize just how beautiful I really am. When I saw this shot after the timer went off, it became quite plain to me. I was happy with the whole picture, even though I did need to crop it to keep it decent. Even the stuff hanging around my midsection looked quite lovely. It dawned on me that this could quite possibly be what my husband sees when he looks at me with that twinkle in his eye...

I Love Piers Anthony

I'll start my post with an admission. I have an addiction to Piers Anthony's Xanth novels. I gobble them up as soon as I can get my hands on them at the library. My nose buried in their pages, my fingers cramping from holding them open. I often suffer from sleepless nights because of these little babies. At the end of a recent book, I found that he has a website, and I was so excited tonight to visit it. I actually printed off a list of the Xanth novels, and am planning on reading them in chronological order. I know...my geeky side is showing. I was positively bouncing when I found both a Royal lineage for the series, a character database, AND an RPG. It was all I could to do prevent myself from squealing with delight.
I love his novels for two reasons. First, I love using my imagination while reading, and this particular set of books really does fantastically stretch one's imagination, while seeming perfectly plausible.
Second...I love words, and this set of books is riddled with puns. Sometimes they make me groan and roll my eyes, or force me to put the book down, and sometimes they literally make me laugh out loud, or giggle, or chuckle for that matter.
You can't go wrong with them. They're detailed enough to drag you into the story, and they all have a pleasant ending that takes brain power to understand. Not so much that they hurt to wrap your brain around, but enough to make the lightbulb flash over your head.
They make for a generally easy read, cause they're fairly short (imo) novels. I'm ending this post with my bouncing bubbling nature, and am gonna say I can't wait to take my list to the library and start checking off the titles as I read my way through them all. Did I mention that they're currently 32 in print in this series alone?? I may have to start reading the other series he has available....

Totally sad that Patrick Swayze is gone. He was the first man that filled my fantasies of a perfect life. He was one of my heroes.

Redundency

I've been a bit of a blogging lull. I've gone from a post or two a day, to one or two a week. Everyone has those, so I've seen.
I also suspect that it's possible to get far too redundant with one's posts.
That being said, I've also taken a big break from HNT, Thursday Thunks, This Is, and Friday Fill-Ins. mainly because I just don't have the energy to go and visit those other blogs who come and visit mine. It makes me feel guilty, silly as it may be. I'm a polite person, and the way i see it, it's polite to go and have a lookie at what other bloggers are reading my blog in return.
Daruis finally starts school tomorrow. We held him back for the first week, to see if we could get him into the all Native private school close to home. Turns out they didn't have enough room for him, so we held him out unitl Monday, cause we had a family Memorial to attend on Friday. I was surprised to find a couple of old classmates of mine, teaching at D's new school. I'm looking forward to getting involved in their PAC. Should be interesting to see just how well I can embroil our family in the community.
I've had two days of work so far, both of them were spent cleaning and training. I'll be the first to admit right now that I can see myself becoming completely dependent on caffeine before too long.
I like the atmosphere of the place, it's quite pleasant. And, despite me fears, my co-workers will be a pleasure to work with, so it seems. I am very pleased that the place is close to home, and it won't be a terrible ordeal for me to get there. i have pictures, and I'll get around to publishing those some other day when I have my other hard drive connected.
I've had quite a few chuckles over the last few days, but seem unable to bring to mind the chief few that I wanted to blurb about.
I stayed up super duper late lastnight to get D & Mr off to go Moose hunting. They came back empty handed, but it's still early yet. I was happy to see just how excited D was to be involved. Hopefully he'll carry on the family tradition.
Am gonna go chill out with H on my bed, watch some tv, and fold some laundry.

Recipe For Disaster & Loneliness

Growth spurt + tired + excited = recipe for disaster
This morning's excitement concluded with H making a headlong run into a stationary wooden chair in McDonalds and falling back with a nice hard knock on the back of his poor little knoggen.
He has a gash on the outside of his chin, and on the inside of his lip, where his teeth smunched.
It's amazing the way things work out. This morning mom gave me some money to do some grocery shopping while she was at work, and it was a good thing, cause I needed it for the Dr.
Never a dull moment.
We've been trying to get ourselves onto the school track, with regular bedtimes (and after 4 days of fighting with D we've finally gotten through that he needs that schedule), meal times, and so on. We were all up early this morning, and by the time we made it to McDonald's, it was lunch and nap time, so H (who is in the middle of the clumsy growth spurt) was tired, and way over-excited to hit the playplace. They were running from the counter (we were just going to order some fries and water) to the door to the playplace, and were rushing so much that when H looked over his shoulder at me, wasn't watching where he was going. Damn, I knew there was a reason why I always ask them to walk when inside that place. He took the corner too wide, and *SMACK*! Right into one of their awful hard wooden stationary chairs, and landed with a thud on their yucky hard concrete floor. There I was mildly panicking, and trying to get the blood off enough to see the damage, and with him screaming and crying, and the other patrons staring and gawking...I couldn't concentrate.
Eventually we headed to the Dr's, and he taped up his chin, and told us to keep it taped to help the wound heal faster.
It's in times like this where I feel completely alone. There are people out there who have people they can call to unload to...and I'm just not one of them. Never really have been. I have lots of friends, and am part of the community here, but they all remain aquaintances, and not the type of people you could call in an emergency situation. I don't really keep anyone around that I can vent to without fear of burning their ears, or having them make a judgement and opinion about my lifestyle. That makes me feel alone.
It's been something I've craved since I dropped out of high school. It's been that long since I've had a good and healthy close friend. There have been a few friends between now and then, but they were unhealthy, the kind that promoted un-married-like behaviour from myself.
Maybe I'm just drained from dealing with the mishap, maybe I'm touching on a note that's been lingering since I moved back. Really, in the end, it's an issue that I need to deal with.
I'm just glad little Mr is ok.

Hot Dads and Parent Traps

It's a holiday today, and finally, my first day of work. I get to go in and train on the new machines we'll be using, and admire the new surroundings. Should be fun.
I'm a FB addict, I freely admit it. I've been addicted to Owned, Save The Planet, Lil Green Patch, Winnie The Pooh, Mafia Wars, and Farmville. I find once I loose interest in one app, I'm hooked on another. Sad.
Had a small spot in this week's Ask Hot Mamas over at Hot Dads (not completely safe for family members), feel free to go and check it out.
D has decided what he wants to be for Halloween this year. It started when we first arrived, when he rented a video game for the Wii called Ghostbusters. He thought it was so cool, he asked for the movies. The repeat performances commenced, until we all knew the movies by heart (again). The DVD's even had the animated series on it (only a few episodes though).
That all being said, D has decided that he wants to be Stay Puft marshmallow man, H to be Slimer, and Mr & I to both be Ghostbusters (complete with proton packs). Interesting...way to get the family involved.
I'll be plotting the patterns in my head until I feel like tossing them together. Seriously, I had plenty of time to do lots of sewing, but I've been nothing but a bum.
We're considering sending H down to stay with MIL for a few days, as Mr is planning on heading up to Gramma's to assists (IE hunt for him) Grandpa with the seasonal hunting. Gramma's body doesn't agree with Deer, so they'll be aiming for Moose. In all honesty, I prefer Moose as well, cause it's much less gamey and easier to flavor and add in to other dishes. We shall see how it all works out, as I'm uncomfortable even sending my Grandpa up in the mountains to drive (considering he's still nursing those four cracked ribs) while the other gentlemen of the family hunt. I can't imagine how tiring that would be for him, especially considering they'd be macho men (when they all get together) and make him "suck it up". I have a thought on that, and it starts with a B.
At this specific point in time I wish I could get my very own Nanny 911 or Supernanny Episode. Though, I honestly could tell you the majority reasons for our children/parent relation problems, it still doesn't help me fix the big problem of why in god's name my 7 y/o needs to push so many buttons with all of us. Is anyone else out there having trouble adjusting to school bedtimes?? In the past two nights alone we've fought with him a minimum of 2 hours each night to get him to go to sleep (That's starting at 7pm). We've let things get so far out of control that we just have no clue where to begin to get them to listen, and have resorted to the ever pathetic raising of our voices (Though we are smart enough to remove ourselves from the situation util we've calmed down and had a chance to consider other options), and the occasional empty threat.
I know damned well that there are better courses of action, but am honestly at a loss as to where to begin. This is new territory for me, as I generally just pick anyplace and get to it, and I just don't know what's stopping me from over-structing the hell out of everything.
It may just be time to bite the bullet, have a family meeting, and get us all on the same page, that way I can look over my shoulder and know the person behind me is supporting me in what I'm doing (even though it's mostly there right now, it's nice to have the 100% assurance), and to make sure that if one person says it's so, so does the next and so on. We have four adult in the house, and not one of us can make the kids do anything for sure. That's just sad. I've been watching it happen for a while though, and have no one but myself to blame. Still doesn't make it ok. I'm denying my children the comfort of knowing that there will always be a constant, and have therefore made them insecure and proceed to act out.
Anyways...I think that concludes my feeling sorry for myself. Moving on.

My boys are definitely not camera shy...

Taxes, Social Assistance & a Backpack

There I was, pondering my own destiny, thinking this lot right now is mine to bear alone. I went to baby group (where we get social time with other parents/kids, and a free lunch), and picked up one of their Parenting magazines and started reading my way through it. I came across this article about being Homeless in the Suburbs. Though my plight isn't quite this drastic, it sure is a reflection of how bad it could be for me family. It truly makes me grateful that I will always have family who can take us in, for however long we need them. Once again, the good lord is speaking to me, telling me to be grateful for all that I have, and not to bemoan it. Once again, it could always be worse.
There are plenty of programs available to us, to get free meals and social time, parenting classes, workshops for training, there's even a Food Bank (should we need it).
It seems kind of hypocritical that I'm sitting here, complaining about not having any money, and still being able to blog. I'm still able to check my email on a regular basis, still have electricity in my home, hot running water, and air conditioning. Heck, I even have unlimited long distance to Canada and the US (very important, having family members on both sides of the border).
The truth is, I have those things because the family members' house I'm at, can afford to pay them themselves. Currently I'm really only responsible for my kids' health. That means their food, their laundry, and their sense of well being. I'm very lucky.
In Canada, when you apply to be a sponsor for someone's Immigration paperwork, you can't accept any kind of Social Assistance. Makes sense right, no country wants to let people in before they've had a chance to pay into the system that could possibly help them one day, and turn out being a burden to society right off the bat. That means that I can't go on Welfare, collect Food Stamps, or accept Cash Assistance from the government. I can get MSP for my kids and I, and collect Child Tax Benefit, because once I start working, I'll be paying into those programs, and they're automatic for anyone with children under a certain age anyways. Though these programs will help me greatly, they won't be near enough to help us get our own place. We live in a beautiful, bountiful region of BC, but we also pay for the beauty (they call it the sunshine tax). We pay 14.5% in taxes on everything taxable that we buy (more for Alcohol & Tobacco), and pay around 5% of our wages to government prorgams each payday. Now, I could complain about those, but in truth, they're a reality that seems normal to me. That 5% will be banked for me should I ever have the ability or need to go on Unemployment Insurance, or Welfare, or even the Canada Pension Plan. They also help pay for my Medical Service Plan for my kids and I, and once my Mr gets a SIN # (Social Insurance Number) him as well.
It's true, though our plight is on a down turn, life could always be worse. We, as a family, constantly look for the positives, and the brighter side, while making our struggle. I don't want my kids to think that just because a few roadblocks spring up, that that's the end of their road. I want them to find another way, and keep ploughing on, no matter what it takes.
On that note, since I can't think of where else I was going to take this post, I'll leave on an up note, I was happy to find that we were able to procure a Free Backpack with school supplies for D, through the Victory Life Fellowship in town...thanks guys, you rock!