Thinking Out Loud

There's been a lot running through my mind.
I love my job. I know it may just be my personality, but I'm really perky and happy no matter what I'm doing there. I always have a smile plastered to my face, and try to do my best helping all of those folks who come in.
The atmosphere is fabulous, and I've noticed the difference between now and when I started working years ago. A while ago I may have just stood around. When I work now, I look for things to do. I know if I'm standing still, I'm not doing my job. I interact with the customers, double check to make sure everything is ok, tell them about the food we serve, offer a bit of history about the area, bus the tables, make drinks, do dishes. The only thing I don't do, is cook. I also get along great with my bosses. I've not yet had one rude customer, which I think is saying something.
Been pondering HNT, and why I participate. There's an argument that the only reason why I do it, is to get attention from you bloggers. I wonder if that's what's thought of me, if I shouldn't just stop doing it all-together. Things look different on different days though, ya know? I do HNT because it gives me an opportunity to take beautiful pictures myself. Motivates me to see myself in a different light, and to share that light with other people, with the intention that if I do it enough I will be able to believe what I see is actually true. It is not so strange people can gawk at me, it's not so I can boost my self esteem by depending on others to give me a temporary boost. There are plenty of photos I take of myself that don't make HNT, that I don't share, and each of them is just as beautiful as the ones I post. The thought though, of anyone thinking I do it just for attention is offensive enough to make me think twice about what I'm doing. This will require some thought.
Along those same lines though, one could add that if I'm only doing HNT for attention, then I could conceivably also be doing meme's just for attention, like a comment whore. I do them because they're fun, and nine times out of ten I don't even read everyone else's answers (asides from my blog friend's, of course).
Had a conversation the other day with someone, who, after asking me about how things were going, stated "Well damn, you're in a world of shit aren't you?"
I'm an optimist, and I believe that everything happens for a reason. Eventually, I will have my day. Someday I won't have to fight so hard for the things I hold near and dear.
Someday.
If I didn't hold up that attitude, I would've found some way to get the hell out years ago. The number of obstacles that my family has overcome since we've been together have been absolutely immense, and each one of them humbled us and made us see just how vulnerable and insignificant we are in the grand scheme of things.
That being said...Someday will be our day.
I'm starting to get sick though...hopefully I'm not contracting a freak case of Swine Flu...LOL
I'm hoping I won't get so sick that I can't work. I don't want anyone else to catch what I have, but I also need the hours, ya know?
Oh well, everything happens for a reason...