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Sunday, April 17, 2005

Vent

I don't particularily care if this is the right outlook to have on relationships, but the way I've always seen it, when I put as much effort into my relationships as I do, I expect at least as much in return.
I put my husband and my son before myself the majority of the time, and I don't think it's too much to ask to have it reciprocated occasionally. But I don't even get that. I've got the shit end of the deal when it comes to my husband, because I don't seem to hold any huge signifigance(sp?) in his life, other than the feact that I'm the mother of his child. No fucking respect, no fucking place but the bottom of the food chain, where-in if you're an aquaintance, your opinions, advice, and thoughts mean more to him that mine.
Respect...let's define that from my point of view:
Respect boils down to listening to what one has to say, considering the meaning of what they have to say, asking for clarification if needed, continuing to make a judgement call, and taking consequences for your actions. Whether that be, yes, the orange tie, or no to the blue shoes.
As a wife, I expect respect, considering I give plenty of it, and I expect to hold signifigance in my husbands life. I expect that I'm not making the same mistake that I did the first marriage around, because that would be fucked up, and make me a complete fucking loser...which one could call me right now anyways, given the circumstances.
Can everyone reading this tell that I'm seething with anger? I'm getting more and more fed up, and my tolerance is dropping, and it's happening a lot more these days.

2 thoughtful remarks:

Anonymous said...

Have you both sat down and talked about how you feel? I mean really talked. You're both going through a lot right now with tons of stress. Figuring out what the issues are, sorting through possible solutions that address the issues and coming up with fair and equitable solutions, and putting them into action is the way to deal with difficulties. Often times, we lose sight and get frustrated. It's going to take a combined effort to get through this. Ama

Nietha said...

Well, I'm no way qualified to give relationship advice. Just hope things improve soon.