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Tuesday, April 10, 2012

Trying

Well, life is underway.
Mr has been working steadily with the local School District, after getting some final paperwork in order. He's also begun attending lodge here with the local Masons, and is excited to not only be accepted and welcomed with open arms, but to be sponsored to continue his learning within.
H is doing wonderfully in school, and as a reading assessment has been done, we've determined he's reading a full year ahead of his current age. He's got friends galore, and always greets me with a smile on his face after school.
D has made many friends in class, after months of our continued worries that it wasn't going to happen. His 10th birthday came and went with Spring Break. We hosted a pool party for him at the local Rec Center, which was followed by a Sleepover, with 6 boys attending. I've never seen so much food eaten by such a group!!  D was thrilled with everything he received, and is enjoying his new age.
I have signed up for A Human Service Work Diploma program at the local College in town. A 2 year Diploma, I'm currently studying for the tests I need to take to qualify to enter. This is the first step I've taken on my own to futher my education, and I'm very excited. It's not just something I saw that might be interesting, it's something I want, and without a doubt will obtain, come hell or high water.
I've also been hired by the local School District to sub as an Aboriginal Education Worker, whenever they need me. Truthfully, though, I'm not pushing the envelope to work there right away.
When I contemplate my journey thus far, I'm constantly surprised at how far I've come.
While I'm still suffering from depression, it's not nearly as bad as it was this time last year. Last year I was binge drinking round this time, isolating, and withdrawing. I'm reaching out more, filling my days that allow me at least one trip oout of the house per day, and have set my expectations appropriately for myself. While I'm not the clean freak I used to be, I still manage to keep a handle on my housework, and shed my guilt for not being able to do as much as I used to.
I'm still seeing a counsellor to help me work through the things that are there, and am receiving support from friends I've made through the school.
While life isn't great everyday, it's manageable, and I feel more normal than I have in ages. The suicidal thoughts that had dominated my brain for so long, I won't tell you how long, are so quiet I hardly even notice them anymore.
The sun has come out, and we've begun exploring the local area with hiking and driving. The kids truly enjoy collecting bits of nature while we go exploring, and have amassed a collection of various items since we started. I love watching their curiosity.
So, to sum it up, I'm feeling good, and life is moving along at such a pace, I can hardly keep up. But, at least I can try.